A home is a representation of who you are.

Coming into someones home, you can usually get a good feel for who they are by how they represent themselves in their decor. Do they have a "model" home, or is it something creative, organic, & thoughtful in how they pull it all together? Sometimes it's just easier to have a designer come in and do it all for you, just like it's easier when you pay a trainer to get you into shape.

What do I want my home to say about me¿? Is it bad that I find things on the curb waiting to be tossed in the garbage, waiting for a new coat of paint?

Two of my favorite pieces of garbage so far.... my gold button mirror, and white crackle paint dresser in the living room:

Is it bad that nothing in my home matches? What does that say about me? I am realizing now, I am a product my mother. She always had an interesting Hodge-podge of nick-knacks adorning the walls, or furniture with a story and I think I really appreciate that now. Without realizing it, I've sort of adopted that same kind of taste, like I've adopted her love for shoes, and clothes. (Thanks mom!)

I have so many ideas up my sleeve and I can't wait to get started on making this house a home.

Soon, the smaller wall in our kitchen will be painted with chalk board paint...inspired by the kitchens in these photos....

....How I would have loved having a kitchen like this to doodle on as a kid!

and that one wall in our hallway is begging to be wall papered...

they're all so lovely, how will I ever choose.

So many ideas, so little time.

How to discipline a baby

The "How to spank a baby" part is my fav.

Sofia had me rolling with this video yesterday.

Enjoy.

Hebrews 4:12-16

For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two edged sward, piercing to the division of soul and spirit, of joints and marrow, and discerning of the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And before him no creature is hidden, but all is open and laid bare to the eyes of him with whom we have to do.

since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we have a high priest who is able to sympathize with our weaknesses, who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sinning. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

I want my handful of readers to know that my blog is a place where I go to post silly pictures of my baby for my grandmother, aunt, cousins, friends, and mom to be able to watch him grow. I talk about things that are important to me, they may not always be politically correct, may at times be offensive, and at times I hope to also encourage people and bless people and other young moms who feel the pressures of life and opinions of others suffocating them. I have felt the opinions of others suffocating me. I'm not perfect, I'm as dirty of a sinner as they come, and daily I have to put a mirror up to who I am and ask God to sanctify me that I would change. At those times I don't always like who I am.

My husband reminded me last night that sanctification is not a fun process. Seeing that you're a jack ass doesn't always make you feel that great, It's painful, hard, and humbling. My God is faithful in his promise to finish the work he started in me, and I have to believe that he looks at my flaws and sympathises with them having mercy on me.

It was not my intention to bash on any specific pastor, or church when I posted about why church sucks. I was expressing my frustration, and also my families frustrations knowing that right now times are tough financially and it breaks my heart to sit through church services where I feel like money is the number one priority when Jesus should be the number one priority.... I want to see things change in churches. I've been a disgruntled church goer, and that doesn't make me less in love with Jesus, or less of a believer.

I went to a church this weekend where I was moved to tears several times. It was the first time I felt like people were filled with a burning passion. People were clapping throughout the sermon, people were fixed on the words the pastor was saying, I felt almost like I was at some kind of rally, and I liked that feeling. If the guy who spoke was up on stage every weekend preaching the gospel like he so shamelessly did, I would go to that church regularly. I left that day feeling like I wanted to bless him. I wanted to send him a check in the mail, a card filled with encouraging words because he had so lifted my spirits. That's what I want to experience when I go to church. I want to go home and talk about the sermon and how much it spoke to me.

I want a sense of community. I think we all long for that.

If a person who had not yet trusted Jesus with their life read my words, they might hate the church as much as I do, and I feel like, If someone is going to come to Jesus with their life, nothing I say or don't say will have any impact on that. God is bigger than my silly little blog, or my twisted, judgemental, or my bitter attitude sometimes.

I am learning how to have mercy. Please bare with me.

I want people to go to church, to go to youth groups, to open the pages of the bible and let the words soak into your heart and jump off of the pages, radically changing your life. Jesus is alive, the bible the most amazing tool that God has to speak to us and guide us. I did all of those things and I'm a whole different person now, and God is continuing to shape my thoughts to become more like his.

Dustin & I are currently asking God what he would have us do, where we will be the most useful to serve and live life with other believers, and we haven't found that place yet.

So if I've offended anyone in this blog, please excuse me, I'm just me. I'm going to continue to say what's on my mind. I don't write for anyone but me. It's a release, it's therapeutic and I have a few people who have jumped on my blog band wagon, so thank you for reading.

I love you

Jesus loves you more

I'm pretty proud of...

How cute Conrads dinosaur socks are....

Can I have them in my size please??

And this little green hat he wore for our morning walk today!

Yea for new darker hair! 

Didn't have the guts to go short and I'm ok with it. I'm too wishy washy about it. One day I want it long, one day I want it short. So it stays how it is. 

What a big guy he is becoming

This week he woke up just once at night for the first time.

 This week he has started eating 6 oz.

This week he flung his little legs in the air and rolled over to one side.

This week he has started to coo more and smile like crazy when he sees Dad. 

Evidence of smiles....picture got cut off.

This week he sat in his swing and gave me 15 mins. to clean! 

and This week he is starting to take naps in his own bed and not his bassinet in our room. 

What a big boy!

& that makes us very happy!

First time Parents

Conrad at 6:00-9:00 pm any given day.

What a sad little face. He's got that pout down to an art!

I never thought that I would be the kind of first time parent that I am. I thought I would be super laid back and not wake up out of a deep sleep after hearing the slightest baby cough, or cry when my son got his first shots, or ask a million questions like a freaked out, overly concerned first time parent. At our first doctors appointment Dustin and I wrote a long list of questions to ask the pediatrician, and one of our concerns was that our baby's ears were too small. I thought that the hole was too small and he wouldn't be able to hear. What a retard! My Doctor smiled and reasured me that there was nothing wrong with Conrad's ears and that they were a normal size (I wish I had kept that list for my scrap book!)

 I thought I would be laid back, but freaked out like a first time parent and kept a spread sheet of each bowel movement my son made & at what time,  how much milk he ate, when he breast fed, how long he fed on each breast, how long his naps were and when he slept! We recorded his every move for able 2 weeks until I realized that I didn't work as a nanny anymore, and didn't need to show my boss what their child was doing every moment of the day, I was the parent now, and I needed to chill out!

As first time parents, my husband and I don't have the freedom to frolic off together here or there, and co-showers aren't what they used to be. One of us always seems to have an ear pressed up against the shower door thinking we've heard the baby. Our son was born with what we refer to as a "sex-dar".  Any little bit of intimacy that my husband and I think we're going to get away with is crushed once our son hears mommy and daddy getting on the bus headed to freaky town. Yes, he's got a sex-dar, much like a gay-dar, but a sex-dar. Go figure!

As first time parents, you have to schedual eating dinner. Dustin gets to eat while I take care of Conrad, and then I eat as he takes car of Conrad. The same goes for anything else you want to do around the house with a new baby. If you want to do laundry, you have to have someone there to watch the baby, If you want to take a shower, eat a sandwich, fold towels, or wipe your butt, you have to have another set of hands to help you out. Unless of course,  your baby likes to swing which mine doesn't!

Life is interesting as a new mom....The older lady at Lowes felt it necessary to assist me in holding my sons head up because he kind of bobbles around right now. She's all "You really gotta' watch his neck sweet heart, he can get injured!" What a jerk I am just letting my sons head fall all over the place. How dare I put him in danger. What a terrible young mother I am!  I appreciate tid bits of advice from my "mom" friends, but my "mom" friends don't call me "sweet heart" and make me feel like an idiot! 

Then theres the crying. Everyday from about 6-9 (or 10-11 if we're having a REALLY fussy night) my son cries. (Sometimes, if i'm lucky, he'll just whine, but most of the time, he cries like he's been drop kicked all day and it breaks my heart!) He's either is over stimulated, tired, needs to go on a walk, or the most common, he has gas. And when we've tried everything and can't get him to stop crying, I put him in the bath fully clothed. 

Conrad getting happy again after his nightly freak-out sesh

I put him in his baby bath so he stays dry, and let the water run for a while (an hour) until he calms the f down so I can think straight and take a deep breath.... Most people put their kid in a swing, I put my son in the bathroom to listen to the water! The swing was a piece of crap. The only swing he likes in Avery's swing. He LOVES Avery's swing and HATES his swing! 

Throw mommy a bone Conrad! 

Conrad in his swing, not really into it.

As a new Mom, I do the best I can, try to take advice when I feel we'll benifit, take each hour at a time and love my baby the best that I can. I will say though, that juggling a marriage, keeping a good attitude all the time, having food ready for your hungry husband when he gets home from work, having energy to carry a conversation at the end of the day, making time for myself and for God have been a lot to manage. I hear it gets easier...I'm waiting for it to get easier!

A sleeping baby...a new parents delight!

whose says boys can't wear bloomers ??

I heart George Michael Bluth

I fell in love with GMB after watching an embarrassing amount of Arrested Development episodes with my husband....

The truth is, He remindes me of Dustin when he was 18 and that's why I love him.....

18 year old Dustin as seen below:

(I kept this photo framed on my night stand when we were dating...)

Michael Cera:

(Slight resemblance)

All of my "celebrity crushes" seem to be the super nerdy type/sarcastic type which 

makes me think of Dustin. 

That's why I love Stephen Colbert so much, and Joel McHale because they're hilarious.

I jump up and down like a school girl when the Colbert Report or the Soup come on!

Go see this movie:

and this movie:

and rent Strangers with Candy and Arrested Development.

You'll thank me.

Stayin' home with my favorite homie

Snuggle bug

Conrad in his skull Vans from his girlfriend Avery

I gave into the binkey

He's not impressed with his toys

Sportin' the blue sneakers 

2 days before I was supposed to go back to work, Dustin called me with a revelation that since I was basically only working for the insurance, and paying for daycare would cost well over 600.00 a month, it would be cheaper to pay the 199.00 a month of insurance for the baby and me stay home! After praying about it and getting counsel from friends and family, it was clear to us that this was the best option for our family. 

My maternity leave was becoming more and more depressing by the day as I counted down each precious week realizing that all of the joy i was experiencing staying home with my baby would be short lived. I couldn't enjoy my time because I was always counting down going back to work. And every time Conrad choked on his milk, or had a diaper rash, I was sad to imagine someone else patting his back when he had hiccups, or delicately applying Bag Balm. I wanted to be the one to care for my baby, and I wanted to experience all of his milestones no matter how stressful my days home with him would be. 

I discussed with Dustin (rather he discussed with me) what my days would look like. He wanted me to look at this as a full time job not a vacation. He has encouraged me to get up with an alarm, get dressed, put on make up if i so desire, plan healthy meals, spend time with other babies and mommies, work on implementing a schedule, and making good use out of my time. 

When I went on my maternity leave for 7 weeks, I was not bringing in a pay check, and yet, friends and family brought us meals and groceries, gave us free hair cuts, helped me pay for co-pays at the doctors office, payed for our sons ridiculously expensive hip harness, and blessed us beyond belief. We prayed for all of our needs to be met, trusted Jesus with our finances and were blown away by how people loved on us. Me staying home will scary financially, but it will also be an extention of our family trusting God's provision for whatever he will provide in our lives and us having faith that he will give us enough for each day.

It has been a lot of fun and a lot of work to care for Conrad around the clock, but this is what I've always wanted and everyday is an opportunity to help my son develop and grow. 

DIY Tiffany's blue table

Before:

After:

I snatched this little gem out of my mothers garage recently and have been working on it. This table has been in the family for many years. Now I get to enjoy it in my own home. 

I used a wood stain and had the lady at Lows add Tiffany's blue dye to it. I let it dry for a day and sanded it to give it that rustic feel. 

Daddy's love

There is nothing like the love a father can give his child. Dustin has gotten more comfortable in his new roll as Conrad's Daddy. He says he felt like a Daddy even before he saw or held his son...he's always wanted to be a Dad. When we were dating, he talked about it regularly and now, watching him experience it on a daily basis has made me fall more in love, and respect him more, I'm patient with him when he fumbles to quickly heat up a bottle while listening to a hungry screaming baby. It melts my heart to watch him interact with his son. I know one day, they will be conquering the golf course together, and hitting balls far into the distance, high fiving each other and making divots in the green....I can see Conrad sitting on the counter pouring measuring spoons into bowls and mixing up yummy treats with Dustin, I can see Conrad sitting next to Dad with his jaw wide open after Labron James slam dunks baskets or makes 3 pointers. I love to imagine what life will be like when our son is old enough to get his hands dirty with Dad and be a little boy. I'm really proud of Dustin and that he keeps a good attitude about raising our son, even though it takes a toll on us at the end of the day and we barely have the energy to lean over and say good night before our alarm (Conrad) wakes us up for his next nightly feeding. 

Right now, he's a gooey, delicious little baby boy who likes to snuggle and have his ear lobes nibbled by Mommy,

But theres nothing like the love of a Daddy, and I couldn't do this great big job on my own. I'm very grateful for all he does and how he loves his son so deliberately and passionately. 

Tschanz family preview:

Russ

Grandma

Aurdry

Mellisa

Cindy

Emily

It's always nice when you can have a little fun... 

Nursery preview

I wanted to create a calming atmosphere with modern patterns and pops of color and yet having a grown up feel that was still appropriate for a baby and heres what I came up with. Still many more touches to be touched up.... But take a peek into Conrad's nursery.

  I decided on a grey/blue putty color for the walls, burnt orange velvet curtains, browns, greens, blues, & oranges throughout. I especially love the window seat which is reminiscent of the window seat I had when I was a kid. I accessorized it with stuffed animals that were given to Conrad and a few that were hand made for me, a few that were stuffed away in my "hope" chest, and of course, my pound puppy that I had growing up that is still splattered with dirt, paint, and one backwards sewn on puppy ear. The window seat is filled with books, toys, and a basket of blankets that were also knitted by grandma's and friends for Conrad.

Here is Conrad's bedding. He doesn't look like he loves it in this picture, but trust me it's his favorite. He told me. 

Custom baby mobile to hang above crib courtesy of Allie

Window seat with Conrad's toys & books

Conrad's library: Hanging book shelf from Pottery Barn 119$. 

Books: church yard sales, amazon.com and Anthropologie

Miss-matched knobs and paper lanterns hung from the sky with a burnt orange "C" painted by Mommy between two small windows.

Changing table from Nana 80$ (craigslist), yellow knob 6$, green canvas baskets 9$ ea., orange tile mirror 14$ (from my room when I was a teen) for Conrad to make silly faces in after his diaper is changed!

Antique crackle painted frame with 16x20 family portrait. Burnt orange mat.

Colorful "C"  collage from Morgan

Owl made out of bible pages made by Sarah

Thanks to my Dad & Aaron Snow for their meticulous job of painting our baby room. We love how it turned out!