Let the Weaning Begin!

My little guy before he knew how to sass me:

When I was pregnant, I had all of these ideas of what kind of mother I would be. One of my ideas was that I would never EVER let my son use a binky. I HATED with a passion, seeing 4 year olds at the store with their binky in their mouths, not saying sentances, just riding along like little zombies!

But then I got home with my baby and realized that shutting them up is harder than it looks and resorted to the binky. He actually wouldn't take it at first and showed no interest at all, but I kept putting it in to plug up the noise and now THIRTEEN MONTHS LATER....I'M THAT MOM with a baby addicted to his binky. I'm not kidding you, he has one in EVERY color and shape and they're located in EVERY corner of my home.

It's sick. Let me be the first one to say it.
It's sick.

{A binky in the mouth and one in each hand. This child CANNOT
BE TRUSTED. He is up to no good!)

We said at six months we were DONE with the binky (actually, Dustin said six months) he seems to have very strong opinions about nearly everything I do with Conrad....like, "DON'T feed him fruits first, he needs to like veggies before you give him fruit!" OR, "Don't take him out of his crib when he's crying, leave him. He HAS to learn!"

The dirty looks I get from Dustin as I feed Conrad heaping finger fulls of icing while we're driving really make me feel guilty and ashamed are really awesome. WHAT? Let the boy have a little chocolate cupcake now and then! Sheesh!) ANYWAY. My point is, I'm the push-over and Dustin is the mean-evil-disciplinarian-Daddy-who won't let our son sleep in our bed, and takes binky's away! who wants the best for our baby and I'm thankful that he has two cents to contribute rather than not give a hoot what goes on with our son, but sometimes....
I want to tell him to take his two cents and shove it somewhere!

I've made excuses for WHY our son needs his binky, and I've pacified our son for far too many months. This binky obsession has gone on for too long, and maybe this time....

DUSTIN is right!?
Noooooooo! (INSERT SCREAMING AND GNASHING OF TEETH!)

I want to coddle Conrad and Dustin is

"Raising our son to be a MAN, not a lil' sissy baby!"

"Ok, FINE, you and your little MAN can go flex your muscles together all you want I agree honey, It's time! BUT I'M JUST GUNNA STASH THE BINKY DISCRETELY IN THE SIDE POCKET OF THE DIAPER BAG, OR IN MY BACK POCKET just in case of a major emergency or melt down! They will all be thrown away immediately, you kind of have my word!"

Our son needs his binky when he's teething, taking a bath, when he's riding in the back seat where it's all lonely and mommy's arms are too stubby and short to reach and give the "sissy baby" some snuggles or reach that toy that the "sissy baby" just launched at the window and is now throwing a full blown, "Rosemary's baby" kind of tantrum.
(BUT if I have a binky handyyyyy... THE TANTRUM IS SILENCED!)
Duh Dustin!

And sissy babies' need their binky's when they get bored after their afternoon snack is all gone and want to get down to play in the kitchen (But Mommy is petrified AND DADDY WOULD KILL HER if he came in and saw the sissy baby crawling around on the ground ANYWHERE NEAR THE STOVE.....) so when I cook, the sissy baby sits in his high chair. I plug up that yapper of his TO BUY ME SOME TIME, SO SUE ME!!

He also needs it when he's playing the drums,

OR

Taking a bath...

Or hangin' with Daddy...

Or riding in the car...

Or when we're at the dentist office for 2 hours with Uncle Vinni

and the sissy baby starts to get bored and tired,
SO I just whip that sucker out and the noise is magically GONE!....

He has it when he's bored, tired, hungry, cranky, happy, sad, teething, laughing, farting, pooping, climbing, wrestling, reading, etc....

You get it right?

My kid is a full blown JUNKIE!

SO we've started the weaning process, and BOY has it been tough.

I had no idea until now how dependant he was on that $5.39 piece of plastic.
It's insane.

It has been really useful, (and necessary) for him to use his binky,

but I believe it's time for God sakes to throw that thing in the trash.

I can't just hold onto the binky because it makes my life more convenient.

I have to teach him how to sooth himself and not rely on the binky. (Deep breath)

Someone say a prayer.

Shits gunna hit the fan around here, I feel it coming.

I'm imagining rosemary's baby screaming in my back seat.

I can do this

I can do this

****(If any of you tell my husband anything about the stashed Binky's, I don't know you,
and I never knew you, and this blog never existed, so help me God!....)