Saturday, July 7

Afternoon Forts With Grandma

Yesterday was a particularly hard day. I learned that my cousin (my 2nd cousin Sherri) was diagnosed with breast cancer. My aunt graduated to heaven 9 years ago after kicking cancers ass twice and then finally, going to be with Jesus. Earlier this month, for whatever reason, Dustin and I were laying in bed talking one night and we started talking about my good friend Bobbie who also fought her battle with cancer (and won, because she is no longer in pain and suffering. She is at home with the Lord.) 

I sometimes think of a moment that we had or a dinners where-once we finally glanced at the clock, it was midnight and we had spent the night laughing, crying, being inappropriate, talking about the nitty-gritty of life and growing deeper as friends. Those dinners will always be dear to me. 

Lately, she's seemed to come up a lot. I've had a few nights over the last six months that I still feel like I'm grieving the loss of such a dear friend. I've missed her a lot recently. It feels good sometimes to cry and release it, but yesterday after hearing of my cousin's cancer, it brought it all back up again-the feelings I had towards Bobbie's cancer. The hatred of the disease that I felt, the helplessness that you feel when someone you love is suffering. I hate it. I hate cancer so much.

After I had cried my face off a little, prayed & tried to spend time with god, even in my "pissed off at cancer" state of mind, I called my mother in law and she came over to spend time with me before the kids woke up from their nap. She was already scheduled to come over while I visited the orthodontist. 

Seeing her build a fort with the kids & read them stories really made my heart happy though. 
{It also reminded me of the time that Dustin & I had a "fort date" in our living room 
when I was pregnant with Elle.}

 She's a good grandma like that! (These kids are pretty spoiled to have two really awesome Ama's!)

Last night after Dustin got home from work and I got home from the orthodontist, we all took a little trip to the store together to get a few goodies for the weekend. As we're walking out of the exit of Trader Joe's, I see this lady who is about my height, slender, fashionably dressed and with BRIGHT white short hair-the roots slightly dark. She looked JUST like my Bobbie.... 

I stopped her and told her that her hair looked fabulous-with a big smile on my face. Our exchange was only but a few seconds, she walked away and as soon as she passed me, I immediately lost it. 

As we drove home, Dustin rubbed my arm as I starred out the window and cried. Part of me felt like that white haired lady was God's way of saying, "I know you loved her, I love her too." Or something. I don't know. Maybe it didn't have any meaning at all. It brought me comfort though, in some strange way. 

But isn't my mother in law the greatest? 

{Have a wonderful weekend friends. 
Please pray for full healing for Sherri.} 


  1. I lost my friend Megan to cancer too. I miss her so much. Thank you for this post. I'll pray for Sherri.

  2. just perfect and simple!