Sunday, April 1

Butterflies Are Nice.

"You are exactly where you should be right now. You are doing exactly what you should be doing at this moment." was what I wrote on our bill before Dustin handed it to Peter, our waiter. (yes, I'm that super creepy lady who draws smiley faces and writes waiters little notes on the bill....)

I can't remember having had a better dining out experience, a better date, a better margarita, or a more delicious meal than I had tonight. We sat outside and although it was windy and cold, the outside heaters put enough heat on our skin to cause a tiny burn that was quickly cooled by a gust of chilly wind. It was perfect. I wore a shirt without front buttons (for easy access for the baby girl. Although I find it quite endearing and sweet, she has begun pulling my shirt down on her own when she decides it's eattin' time..... talk about a nip slip! I'm not kidding, if I am deep in conversation and don't realize she's yanking my top down, you may or may not possibly see a nip. Let this blog post be my warning to you, dear friend.) Ahem. I wasn't wearing my usual high waisted gross mom jeans with dried on purred prunes that kind of could pass for poopies..... I had my semi-sexy jeans on. (still in that weird in-between sizes stage.) I wore lipstick and had CUTE hair! (NOT greasy mom-hair in a gross bun hair!) It was pretty perfect. My man had on cologne. When the wind blew just right, I would get a whiff of it and it made my mouth water.

We got to the restaurant early enough to beat the dinner crowds and still get home with enough time to put our babies in bed. All around us at various tables sat really adorable older folk. The elderly know what's good when it comes to beating the crowds!

Peter was super sweet and knowledgeable. He was the most attentive waiter I think we've ever had. As Dustin glanced at the menu trying to decide what beer he wanted to have, I playfully said, "Yes, what will the birthday boy have?" Even though today wasn't his birthday but I was hoping we might score a free appetizer.... (don't you judge me! You do it too!) Then it accured to me. WE NEVER CELEBRATED HIS BIRTHDAY! As Peter walked away, I looked at Dustin and said, "Happy Birthday honey!" As I said before, since he and Conrad share a birthday month, my poor husband never gets a real birthday celebration. This was his birthday dinner.

Halfway through our meal, we complimented Peter on being the best waiter in the whole entire universe to which he said, "I've been a waiter for six years. I really don't want to be a waiter right now but I have to." with a sheepish half embarrassed but sweet smile. As Peter started to walk away, I told him that even though it's a Sunday, I hope he gets lots of tips tonight!
   Then in a kind of smart ass way, he said.
"Yeah, it's a pretty lively crowd tonight....." (probably referring to the older folk having dinner with us at 4:00?)

How could he not want to be doing a job that he's SO great at?
He refills the water before I can even take a sip.
He asks me how i liked the spicy tuna roll and says that since I like spicy, i should get the bbq crusted salmon dish.
He smiles and seems genuinely concerned about whether I needed more Parmesan or if the shrimp was cooked to Dustin's liking.
He laughs at my dumb jokes.
Where'd he come from?
Where's Ashton Kutcher?

I feel like Peter sometimes. I have a job, mother & wife that at times I don't "feel" like doing or being. Sometimes I need a swift kick in the butt to motivate me and excite me to wake up everyday and do the same things in and out. Sometimes I straight up eat a whole bag of chocolate chips in one afternoon alone because it just makes me feel better when I'm totally not motivated AND it's OK to have bad days where you kind of don't love your job! I have moments of sheer joy cupeled with moments of sheer grief all in the same hour sometimes. It's OK to not love our jobs all the time. Even when we're completely great at our jobs, totally made for them, absolutely cut out to serve others like Peter does every day OR to teach my son his alphabet or to rock my teething-irritable baby all night long if she needs me to. These are our jobs. Even if some days I don't feel like I'm any good at being a mom doesn't mean that I wasn't made to do this job.

I am exactly where I should be at this very moment. I am doing exactly what I should be doing right now.

As we got to our car, Dustin stopped me and kissed me. I got all warm and tingly as we kissed. I pulled away for a moment to get a good look at him then gave him another long kiss-finally realizing that a car had been waiting there to pull into our spot after we left..... and those bastards just waited there the whole time too! Like for reals? Go find another place to park while we kiss for the love of gawd! Either way, it was pretty Awwwwkward there for a minute.

My shirt has cute birds on it. 
    Just thought I'd point that out. 


  1. i absolutely adore that bird blouse. so perfect!
    and that little romantic kiss sounds incredible! i love kissing and taking a step back to really study the person you are with. romance at it's finest ;)
    xo TJ

  2. This makes me smile a big, goofy smile. We should all take those words to heart! I know that I need to hold on to the wisdom of embracing this moment. Oh, and? Wait til your kid is 2 and grabs your boobs in the middle of the grocery store, proclaiming to everyone in sight, "These are mommy's nuk-nuks!" <---- TRUE STORY.

  3. Holy. Crap, woman, you look so beautiful and gorgeous and HOT DAMN. What a sexy ass wife. Gosh darn it, you're SO SWEET. Keep kissing that husband you babe. Love you tons.

  4. You and your husband are too cute

  5. This post... wow. It really hit me.
    I struggle so much with being content or even sure with where God has me sometimes
    and what He has set before me.

    I loved that you said it's okay to have bad days.
    With art, music, and even trying to be a good and Godly wife, MAN!
    I feel like a failure a lot and question things,
    but you're right.

    This is exactly where I need to be.
    It's where God has me and will keep me until He's done working through it.
    I love it.

    Thanks for being incredible,
    and as usual - crazy inspiring.


    - Jessie

  6. Jess, you are so encouraging friend. I so appreciate your sweet words!

    What a blessing YOU are to ME!


  7. I adore this post.
    and your heart.