Friday, September 9

Getting Through It.

Dustin says she looks like a little old lady in her nighty-gown.
Elle received an owl with her name stitch on the back from my friend Natalie in the mail {Thanks doll.}
I found her the most adorable vintage sailor outfit....
Baby kisses.
A sweet-old man-checker at Target called her "Sleeping beauty" as she slept in her sling this week. 
My heart melts. 
This week has been.... good. And exhausting. But good. I'm thankful that God has graced me to get through each day. Right now, that's what life is about. Getting through. If I can get through each day without completely falling apart because my toddler is adjusting to his new life, tantrums are many and my patience is few, If I can manage to read him books before bed while Elle sits on the couch and Dad is at school, if we can get through a few books before she needs me again.... I hate cutting story time short but I'm only one Momma, If I can get through one shopping trip without a tantrum (oh, sweet baby Jesus, help my son to be a good boy who doesn't turn into a little demon child when I go to the store...each time.) , If I can check off at least one item on my to-do-list for the day, If I can put a hot meal on the table at least a few times a week..... I will eventually get the hang of it and be triumphant at juggling it all. Eventually. Sometimes it's nice to just throw out all of my to-do's and snuggle my babies in bed while we watch Signing Time for the third time that day OR get In N Out for the 2nd time that week..... But God is good, we will get through each day by his grace and although I can't be two people, I can be enough. I am enough for them even when I feel like I'm failing at life in every category, my God is pleased with me. How often I forget this. There is nothing I can't do when he is my refuge and help. I've needed that refuge in bigger ways lately. Oh, how I have needed him! {Sometimes you have to give yourself a little pep talk, right?!}

As embarrassing as it is, I too have moments of weakness where I "snap" and yell at my kid. "Mommy tantrums" If you will. Like today, for example. In the car, after a horrific trip to the store, baby #1 keeps telling me that baby #2 is crying. But he doesn't just tell me once as a kind reminder, he keeps repeating himself over and over and over.... deep breath. She's hollering and he's giggling, and repeating "baby crying mom! Baby crying!" I turn around like a crazy person and shout, "Enough! You don't have to tell me that she's crying. I have ears too! I hear her! DO not speak again... or.... OR I'LL PULL THIS CAR OVER...!" (When I say I'll pull this car over, I'm really saying, I'll pull this car over somewhere so I can sob and throw myself a pity party. Ugh. So that sucked. I had to apologize for my behavior. Then while saying our nightly prayers that night, I asked him what we should pray about. First we prayed for sister, then daddy, then Grandma then.... he prayed for his dinosaurs. It was so cute, I'm not gunna lie. Then he held on extra tight as I went to put him in his crib and he gave me a kiss (without me asking for one.) He still loves me, even when I mess up. Moments like that really make the not so glamorous moments when the sweet 2 year old who sometimes (oftentimes) turns into a little monster child at the store, or when I turn into a monster of a mommy, not so terrible. We're getting through it. The adjustment has been difficult at times, but that sweet baby girl owns my heart and it will get easier.


And, update on how the siblings are bonding: They're doing great. He is OB-sessed with her. He wants to hold her and kisser all the time. He helps me put her diaper on and when she's upset, he says to her, "You OK Ewiotte! You OK!" He hasn't tried to smother her yet or gouge her eyes out. Yippee!

A good word.
A good listen.
A hot Momma to be.
A good read. {watch the video. If only cesarean birth could be as lovely as portrayed in this video.}

{Have a great weekend.}

13 comments:

  1. Girl I know exactly how you feel. My son threw an epic sized tantrum today in Walmart, within the first minute of walking into the store. He wanted something his sister had and she cried when he took it away, then I gave it back to her and he started crying, screaming, flailing... Ugh. I might have been praying and cursing in the same breath but I'm not really sure because I was also slightly shell shocked and could barely hear myself think with all the screaming. People were shooting me the evil eye, staring, muttering. I wanted to walk out but couldn't because we actually reay needed the stuff we came to get. I'll be saying some prayers for Conrad and you if you say some for me and my boy too. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh man... I had moments where I snapped as a big sister during the course of the 2 week camping trip with my sisters. Then I had to apologize for my behavior and they said, "It's okaaayyy." but it didn't FEEL okay. Then I felt like a grinch, which made me grumpy, which made me snap again. It was awful. I am glad you're hanging in there and that there have been no eye-gougings and please ask Conrad to pray for Pluto while he's at it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You are a hero. I am just trying to manage it all with one baby...but you have two! Amazing! (New reader here and really enjoying your blog!)

    ReplyDelete
  4. [We're getting through it. The adjustment has been difficult at times, but that sweet baby girl owns my heart and it will get easier.]

    LOVE this. love you. you are inspiring. and who am i kidding, reading your new posts scare the poop outta me cause i know this is going to be ME in a few short weeks. AHHHH! hold me. oh wait, you're holding a newborn :) hah. keep it up, girl! you're doing GREAT!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Chelsea thank you for sharing your journey as a mother working to do her best to raise her children...oh I've had a few mommy-tantrums lately and boy does it feel horrible. Glad to hear I'm not alone... and aren't our kids such amazing example of forgiveness? :) oh I cannot wait for Brooks to say his first prayer! hugs to you and your little prince conrad and princess elliotte :)

    PS - that sleeping beauty comment from that old man put a smile on my face :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. PS - those show-wow photos in the next post are TOO.STINKIN.CUTE. =)

    ReplyDelete