Thursday, December 2

Turkey On The Kitchen Floor:

After hosting Thanksgiving at our place last year, we swore that we would never do it again...16 people in my tiny 3 bdrm condo was fun, but we were very crammed. So this year, we were scrambling to find a house to have thanksgiving and my parents house wasn't an option, my brother wasn't moved his house so we agreed to host again. (I'm so glad we did. It was so much fun and I have the best family on earth who I love dearly.)

We also took on the big important task of cooking the turkey! Dustin looked up a recipe to brine the turkey and the night before, we put the turkey in the brine bag and let it sit over night. In the morning we both woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I think because of stress and knowing that there was still dried yogurt on the floor and my house was gross, I was stressed. Dustin has roasted many chickens but never cooked a turkey, so he felt the pressure to deliver a good juicy turkey. We didn't have a meat thermometer, a roasting rack etc. so Instead of using a roasting rack, Dustin used several onions cut in half to prop that turkey up. Anyway. My Dad came early with his turkey tools and helped us out with the rest.

Thanksgiving morning had started off bad already but quickly got worse. I'm washing out my coffee cup and behind me, in his crotchless man-ties (underwear with multiple holes in the crotch that should be thrown away but get worn over and over...gag.) Dustin is fumbling around in the fridge and all of a sudden I hear a loud gush of water. Dustin decided that "turning" the already submerged turkey so that it could get even more submerged was a good idea until the whole bag of salty goodness, apples, lemon zest, oranges etc. were scattered all over our kitchen floor. The poor raw turkey was sitting between his legs and his expression of "Oh shit. What do i do. The kitchen is flooded. What is Chelsea about to say. Is she going to yell? Is she going to cry? Am I going to cry?...." This is what he must have been thinking.
We were both kind of shocked.
{Frozen turkey in our guest bathroom sink soaking up all of the delicious goodness the night before thanksgiving.}

I say nothing. I grab Conrad who is already halfway into the kitchen with turkey juice on his feet. I put him in his highchair and give him a snack. I grab a trash bag and start folding up my very large kitchen rug to throw it away because it wont fit in our machine and it's not washable. I do this all in silence.

Dustin is still standing there in his crotchless man-ties. He argues that I'm overreacting throwing away our rug and I say, "That was such a stupid thing to do! Turn the turkey? That was so stupid Dustin!" (Heartless-black hearted monster of a wife! I know. You don't have to leave a comment to remind me of how nasty I am. I already know.)

He really gives it to me and tells me that he's allowed to make mistakes and that I need to learn how to talk to him nicer. We're both raising our voices a little too loud and Conrad starts to get scared. I feel like crap. He just wanted to please me and my family and make the perfect turkey. It was totally mean and uncalled for to be so harsh and down right nasty. I understand that.

I decide that we need more bacon and I get in my car and drive to Albertsons. On my way there I dial my mother in law to vent. I'm telling her all about the turkey and how annoyed I am....When I get into the store, I'm still ranting as I walk through the aisles of a clearly chaotic grocery store. As I get to the meat section, I notice a man digging in a box to get a lady a ham. She's on her cell phone too. She's in my way blocking the aisle. I stand there dead in my tracks and stare for a few seconds. I smile. I wait. She doesn't make eye contact at all. I politely say, "Excuse me." No reaction. Again a little louder, "Excuse me." Nothing. THEN FINALLY as loud as I possibly could (I was already pissed to begin with.) I shout, "EXCUSE ME!" The entire store goes quiet. People stop what they're doing to watch what has transpired. The lady finally looks up to acknowledge me for the first time with cell phone intact and goes, "I'M ON MY PHONE!" To which I whip my cart around her as I walk by and respond, "Maybe you need to get off of your phone and pay attention!" Mind you my mother in law is listening to this whole situation. Embarrassing. I'm thinking she and I are out of the "honeymoon" stage in our relationship where we walk on egg shells and don't speak our mind. It's still embarrassing though. Totally mortifying.

As I'm walking away, the hairs on my neck are standing up and I'm just waiting for this lady to come running as fast as she can and jump onto my back, pulling me to the ground. I'm already planning my self defense moves if she decides to attack and at the same time, I'm explaining this whole thing to Denise trying to make it right-the way I acted. I still looked like an ass I'm sure.

After I tell my mother in law about my stressful morning, she gives me her two cents. She tells me that I need to go and have a "conversation". (code for "you're a brat. Go make it right with your husband and apologize.") Denise is really good at not taking either of our sides. She doesn't play favorites. She tells it like it is and if I'm wrong, I usually know that I'm wrong by the time we get off of the phone.

I get to self checkout thinking it would be way faster. Wrong. I buy $8.20 worth of groceries and stick my $10 bill in the machine. The machine doesn't register the money and after 7 minutes of waiting for someone to come help, the very frazzled cashier comes over. At this point, I'm ready to just leave and give the store my change. I explain the situation and the cashier calls over another cashier and both of them fight over whether or not i actually put in the ten dollar bill. So they bust open the money is in fact inside the little machine.

I get home. The floor is clean. Conrad is in bed for his nap. Dustin explains that I need to find a nicer way to talk to him. He said that it was uncalled for to be so harsh and rude. He should be allowed to make mistakes. I get all teary eyed and apologize and life goes on. I love my husbands gentile spirit. I love that he doesn't let things get swept under the rug. He wants to always make things right. I like that about him.

All twelve guests arrive and it's time to eat. Dustin asks everyone to gather around the tables and he prays over our meal. I was really impressed by his prayer. I always am. He's so genuine and honest with his words. Never rehearsed or planned. I loved how he talked about being thankful for our salvation and for what Jesus did on the cross, buying us so that we could be reconciled to god. It was a beautiful, heartfelt prayer that made me feel so proud of my husband.

My Dad said that Dustin's turkey was one of the juiciest turkeys he'd ever had (and my Dad doesn't lie to people to make them feel better....he was serious. That turkey was dang juicy!)

We survived. Thanksgiving was awesome. Later that day though, I began to replay my experience at the store and was imagining being given another chance. If I could have gone back, I wish I had sought that woman out in the store before I had left and told her that I was being an ass, and please forgive me for my behavior. I really wish I could have done that.

{Below is a photo of us the night before thanksgiving at our friends Lori and Evans house. They cooked the most amazing dinner. We played games and hung out. It was nice. They call this dinner
L to R: Lori, Sofia, Evan, Becky, Dustin, Me, Matt, Troy, & Jackie.
Each place setting had a little ornament with the first letter of each of our names.
The dudes:
Dustin & Dad working on the bird & me wearing a green apron that I thrifted.
I prepared the sides, they prepared the bird.
My gran with Dylan and Destiny, my cousins two kiddos.
My Mom and Destiny playing.
{It was a great Thanksgiving filled with memories, love, good food, friends that I cherish and family.}


  1. I am thrilled, so thrilled the Lord uses our moments of being an "ass" to better us, and the relationships we screw up in. He is so gracious and so good to us. Oh Chels, I want to come spend time with you three. I wish I could be the babysitter you need. Maybe if I move out there I could be.

    I love you.

  2. Looks like a great day - minus the turkey incident. There is always something isn't there?

    I have to say, I think the lady on the phone in the store is much ruder than you were. I mean seriously, if you can't multitask on your phone in public you shouldn't be on it or in public.

  3. Whew, I felt your pain through every single word. And I get SO frustrated with rude people like that lady in the store! But I'm so glad you worked with out with your hubby and had a wonderful Thanksgiving despite its rocky start. And can I just say that I love your outfits? Because I do. I know where I'm going for looking-cute-as-a-mom advice :]

  4. i have the same problem. sometimes i'm just plain mean to my man. it's like i expect him to just be perfect and if he's not, he better back out of my way. it's terrible and i always feel bad afterwards.

    so, holy plaid! did you notice that?

  5. It really is a gift when we want to communicate through fights with loved ones instead of sweep it under the rug. That is such a beautiful way to look at it. I'm sorry the day was stressful, I find entertaining always is. As for hte woman in the store..quite frankly, if someone is so tuned out on their phone that they don't respond to you until you yell, i think they have it coming.

    When I hit a tough emotional spot, whether it's with a stranger, my boyfriend, my family or anyone in between, I have to remember to seek humility and get out of God's way instead of doing his job when he doesn't need me too :)

    Beautiful entry, I'm so glad I found your blog!!

  6. Yeah, Jess, we were all joking that we all wore plaid. We look like a Gap ad or something. so gay ;)

  7. This post reads like I'm looking in a freakin' mirror. I hate when I'm an ass to my husband and complete strangers-- but I still do it! And I always regret it later too...

    Glad you and your hubs made up once you got home. Sounds like you two bring out the best in each other :)

  8. You always suck me in with your stories. In the best way.

    I totally would have reacted the same way. I would have yelled at my husband, overreacted, and then felt like shit for it. Thats how I am. And he always takes it, and continues to love me. I always apologize later, after the guilt has torn a hole in my heart.

    When he recently wrecked our $25,000 vehicle, somehow I didn't flip my bitch switch, and instead was just happy that he wasn't hurt. He kept waiting for the backlash, but I never lost my cool. I just accepted it for what it was, and figured out where to go from there.

    And after that I figured, "well if I can get through over a month without a car, and a omg-are-you-alive situation, then I probably don't need to sweat the small things either".

    But reading this made me feel human. Like, you have those days too.

    This beautiful woman with the totally hunky husband (what, can I say that?), the adorable little kid- they do the same kinda stuff we do.

    Anyways, so thats why I love you and your family and your blog.

    The end.

    And happy holidays and stuff.

  9. I don't mean to say this to be a jerk- I really, really don't, it's just an observation. I've noticed, amongst my circle of friends and family, that women yelling at/criticizing/belittling their male partners in anger is far, far FAR more frequent than men doing the same to their female partners. No, the men aren't perfect, but honestly sometimes I think to myself "you know, if she were a MAN yelling at and talking to a WOMAN that way, there would probably be no less than 3 other men "stepping in" and saying "whoa buddy, you need to quit talking to a lady like that".

    And that makes me *so sad*. It just seems like, because they're men, and because they're "big and strong", women think it's ok to yell at them, or belittle them, or criticize them, or honestly sometimes be flat out pissed off/disgusted with them over human, honest, MISTAKES.

    I used to be this way. I had a relationship with a boy, and the way I acted, looking back on it (and during it) made me ashamed. It was, to be quite honest, verbally abusive at times the way I disparaged him when I got angry. Now, whenever I want to get angry at my partner, I think to myself "if I were a man, saying this to a woman, would this be ok?" and usually, the answer is "oh hell no". It gives me pause. I try and talk to my male partner like he was my most precious female friend- because we talk a lot about women's complicated feelings, but men have those same complicated feelings too.

    Again, not trying to make assumptions/judgments about your behavior. Just a general thing I've noticed a lot of- and sadly it's made fun of in sitcoms as well, like it's just par for the course for women to be nagging and hateful in anger, while men are the "dopey dumb dudes" that can't get anything right- again, NOT saying you are doing this! It's just a general cultural thing that really makes me sad.

  10. Anonymous, Thank you for your comment. I appreciate you speaking your mind. I don't take offense to it at all. I'm extremely lucky that Dustin and I get a long so well. I had boyfriends in the past that I butted heads with all the time, and Dustin and I rarely fight. I'm blessed that we complement one another very well. I think that fighting or hashing it out is healthy in a relationship. It's healthy to get it out and not bottle things up. I may not always speak with the upmost kindness in my approach to dealing with my husbands downfalls, but I'm working on that.

    I'm well aware of the way our society dumbs men down as far as our entertainment goes. It's sad. I do my best to affirm my husband and build him up so that he feels "big and strong."

    I'm also well aware that we both sin and wrong one another. I'm grateful that when we feel conviction that we've wronged the other, we can go to each other and ask for forgiveness and repair anything broken in our marriage. Jesus is to blame for that. Thank God that we are loved by a mighty god who loves us even when we are nasty humans who give into our human nature to be nasty.

    Dustin doesn't allow me to belittle him. If I offend him, he isn't afraid to put me in my place and knock me off of my high horse.

    I share these stories because this is part of my life. I'm not perfect. I'm not trying to portray a perfect marriage. I'm portraying what is real. We mess up and have bad days, but I've found that a lot of other people relate to these bad days and at the end of those bad days, I know that everyday we're going to learn and mature in Christ. I take confort in that. He is forever conforming me to his image and what is broken, He will repair.

    Thank you for your comment.

  11. first let me say...i was wondering where in the heck you had been. you hadnt posted in so many days that Jude and I were ready to take a road trip to vegas to hunt you down..haha. no really, even though we dont know eachother I feel like we are friends and so the boys haha. I am so glad you are posting again. I loved this story. So funny it made me laugh out loud. I have those moments in stores and with my hubby. we are not perfect. thank you for sharing and opening up your life with us. xo

  12. oh my goodness, you are so adorable...always!!! looks like a fabulous time :]