Turkey On The Kitchen Floor:

After hosting Thanksgiving at our place last year, we swore that we would never do it again...16 people in my tiny 3 bdrm condo was fun, but we were very crammed. So this year, we were scrambling to find a house to have thanksgiving and my parents house wasn't an option, my brother wasn't moved his house so we agreed to host again. (I'm so glad we did. It was so much fun and I have the best family on earth who I love dearly.)

We also took on the big important task of cooking the turkey! Dustin looked up a recipe to brine the turkey and the night before, we put the turkey in the brine bag and let it sit over night. In the morning we both woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I think because of stress and knowing that there was still dried yogurt on the floor and my house was gross, I was stressed. Dustin has roasted many chickens but never cooked a turkey, so he felt the pressure to deliver a good juicy turkey. We didn't have a meat thermometer, a roasting rack etc. so Instead of using a roasting rack, Dustin used several onions cut in half to prop that turkey up. Anyway. My Dad came early with his turkey tools and helped us out with the rest.

Thanksgiving morning had started off bad already but quickly got worse. I'm washing out my coffee cup and behind me, in his crotchless man-ties (underwear with multiple holes in the crotch that should be thrown away but get worn over and over...gag.) Dustin is fumbling around in the fridge and all of a sudden I hear a loud gush of water. Dustin decided that "turning" the already submerged turkey so that it could get even more submerged was a good idea until the whole bag of salty goodness, apples, lemon zest, oranges etc. were scattered all over our kitchen floor. The poor raw turkey was sitting between his legs and his expression of "Oh shit. What do i do. The kitchen is flooded. What is Chelsea about to say. Is she going to yell? Is she going to cry? Am I going to cry?...." This is what he must have been thinking.

We were both kind of shocked.

{Frozen turkey in our guest bathroom sink soaking up all of the delicious goodness the night before thanksgiving.}

I say nothing. I grab Conrad who is already halfway into the kitchen with turkey juice on his feet. I put him in his highchair and give him a snack. I grab a trash bag and start folding up my very large kitchen rug to throw it away because it wont fit in our machine and it's not washable. I do this all in silence.

Dustin is still standing there in his crotchless man-ties. He argues that I'm overreacting throwing away our rug and I say, "That was such a stupid thing to do! Turn the turkey? That was so stupid Dustin!" (Heartless-black hearted monster of a wife! I know. You don't have to leave a comment to remind me of how nasty I am. I already know.)

He really gives it to me and tells me that he's allowed to make mistakes and that I need to learn how to talk to him nicer. We're both raising our voices a little too loud and Conrad starts to get scared. I feel like crap. He just wanted to please me and my family and make the perfect turkey. It was totally mean and uncalled for to be so harsh and down right nasty. I understand that.

I decide that we need more bacon and I get in my car and drive to Albertsons. On my way there I dial my mother in law to vent. I'm telling her all about the turkey and how annoyed I am....When I get into the store, I'm still ranting as I walk through the aisles of a clearly chaotic grocery store. As I get to the meat section, I notice a man digging in a box to get a lady a ham. She's on her cell phone too. She's in my way blocking the aisle. I stand there dead in my tracks and stare for a few seconds. I smile. I wait. She doesn't make eye contact at all. I politely say, "Excuse me." No reaction. Again a little louder, "Excuse me." Nothing. THEN FINALLY as loud as I possibly could (I was already pissed to begin with.) I shout, "EXCUSE ME!" The entire store goes quiet. People stop what they're doing to watch what has transpired. The lady finally looks up to acknowledge me for the first time with cell phone intact and goes, "I'M ON MY PHONE!" To which I whip my cart around her as I walk by and respond, "Maybe you need to get off of your phone and pay attention!" Mind you my mother in law is listening to this whole situation. Embarrassing. I'm thinking she and I are out of the "honeymoon" stage in our relationship where we walk on egg shells and don't speak our mind. It's still embarrassing though. Totally mortifying.

As I'm walking away, the hairs on my neck are standing up and I'm just waiting for this lady to come running as fast as she can and jump onto my back, pulling me to the ground. I'm already planning my self defense moves if she decides to attack and at the same time, I'm explaining this whole thing to Denise trying to make it right-the way I acted. I still looked like an ass I'm sure.

After I tell my mother in law about my stressful morning, she gives me her two cents. She tells me that I need to go and have a "conversation". (code for "you're a brat. Go make it right with your husband and apologize.") Denise is really good at not taking either of our sides. She doesn't play favorites. She tells it like it is and if I'm wrong, I usually know that I'm wrong by the time we get off of the phone.

I get to self checkout thinking it would be way faster. Wrong. I buy $8.20 worth of groceries and stick my $10 bill in the machine. The machine doesn't register the money and after 7 minutes of waiting for someone to come help, the very frazzled cashier comes over. At this point, I'm ready to just leave and give the store my change. I explain the situation and the cashier calls over another cashier and both of them fight over whether or not i actually put in the ten dollar bill. So they bust open the machine.....my money is in fact inside the little machine. I.am.beyond.annoyed.

I get home. The floor is clean. Conrad is in bed for his nap. Dustin explains that I need to find a nicer way to talk to him. He said that it was uncalled for to be so harsh and rude. He should be allowed to make mistakes. I get all teary eyed and apologize and life goes on. I love my husbands gentile spirit. I love that he doesn't let things get swept under the rug. He wants to always make things right. I like that about him.

All twelve guests arrive and it's time to eat. Dustin asks everyone to gather around the tables and he prays over our meal. I was really impressed by his prayer. I always am. He's so genuine and honest with his words. Never rehearsed or planned. I loved how he talked about being thankful for our salvation and for what Jesus did on the cross, buying us so that we could be reconciled to god. It was a beautiful, heartfelt prayer that made me feel so proud of my husband.

My Dad said that Dustin's turkey was one of the juiciest turkeys he'd ever had (and my Dad doesn't lie to people to make them feel better....he was serious. That turkey was dang juicy!)

We survived. Thanksgiving was awesome. Later that day though, I began to replay my experience at the store and was imagining being given another chance. If I could have gone back, I wish I had sought that woman out in the store before I had left and told her that I was being an ass, and please forgive me for my behavior. I really wish I could have done that.

{Below is a photo of us the night before thanksgiving at our friends Lori and Evans house. They cooked the most amazing dinner. We played games and hung out. It was nice. They call this dinner

"friends-giving."}

L to R: Lori, Sofia, Evan, Becky, Dustin, Me, Matt, Troy, & Jackie.

Each place setting had a little ornament with the first letter of each of our names.

The dudes:

Dustin & Dad working on the bird & me wearing a green apron that I thrifted.

I prepared the sides, they prepared the bird.

My gran with Dylan and Destiny, my cousins two kiddos.

My Mom and Destiny playing.

{It was a great Thanksgiving filled with memories, love, good food, friends that I cherish and family.}