Tuesday, October 12

Joy.

Conrad and his friends feeding the ducks makes me smile. Spending time with my dear friend Vicki, her encouraging words, prayers and love make me smile too. I am thankful for her faithful friendship.
 That's what makes me smile. It makes these hard days easier. 
 Not sure what the puckered lip face is all about, but it's darn cute.
 Pretty brown eyes:
 She has one of the prettiest smiles ever: 
The kids seemed more interested in eating the bread 
and trying to jump into the pond than feeding them. 
 A bite for me, a bite for the ducks!

"Out of the depths, I cry to you, O Lord; O Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy. If you, O Lord kept a record of sins, who would stand? But with you there is forgiveness, therefore you are feared. I wait for the lord, my souls waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the lord more than watchmen wait for the morning. O Israel, put your hope in the Lord for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is full redemption."
 Psalm 130

I'm holding onto this scripture today. I'm not sure If I'm simply mourning, of if I'm falling back into another bout of depression. The anxiety has at time been completely encompassing. The panic attacks and difficulty to breathe have been hard to work through. There is a lot going on right now other than mourning a death of a woman who felt more like family than a friend. I feel really confident in my God right now as I go through this valley though. He has shown me so much love and been so faithful to me. I've had some incredible times of worship with Him these last few days, but even in those times with Jesus, I'm still bursting in tears and feeling like I'm barely hanging on, I know He's holding me tightly. I feel like He's been attentive to my cry. He's been close to me and has given me joy through my mourning. He's put people around me to pray with me on the phone when I cannot pray and don't have the words. I am waiting upon Him and he is taking me through this pain ever so faithfully and mightily.

 I am more than thankful for you Vicki, who reminded me yesterday that our God is a healer and that no medicine can take the place of what my Jesus can do in me. I am so grateful that you reminded me to get in the word and spend time with God. Nothing satisfies like He does. I need to give myself time to go through this process of grief. If I medicate myself and force myself NOT to FEEL these feelings, God will eventually force me to face them and heal at some point or another, so I might as well face them now, no matter how painful they may be.

{Thanks for listening friends. Your stories and advice have comforted me.}

10 comments:

  1. Awww, Those photos are true joy! What lovely grace He gives to us even in the midst of trials. Love you friend and will be here for you always.

    ReplyDelete
  2. cute pics!

    and i think you are very wise in your approach to deal with your grief and forcing yourself to deal with the issue. I will pray for your healing and peace of mind during these difficult days.

    hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I know sorry doesn't cover it, but I really am sorry for your loss of Bobbie.

    However, I am also overjoyed to hear how you are turning to the Lord in this time and using Him as your refuge. What a beautiful concept, so accurately portrayed in your daily life.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "If I medicate myself and force myself NOT to FEEL these feelings, God will eventually force me to face them and heal at some point or another, so I might as well face them now, no matter how painful they may be."

    Gosh I love this. It's so true Chelsea. We need to feel the pain in order to conquer it and to lean on God for his understanding. Our Father is smiling down upon you for your obedience and faithfulness to Him. Thank you Chelsea for sharing this experience with us.

    ReplyDelete
  5. One day at a time. Cling to Jesus, and you will see easier times. Still praying. I do hope we get to meet when I come to Vegas in Dec.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks ladies. you are such a support to me. Thanks a million.

    Christina, I think it's a done deal that we get together girl. A done deal.

    Many hugs to all of you. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  7. such cuties!!!
    you can only take one day at a time.

    http://lilmuselily.com/

    ReplyDelete
  8. God is good. Thank you for this post and for your vulnerability. it is refreshing. peace to you!

    p.s. i blogged about YOU today! you've now been wiggled. head over to pick up your badge. :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. You are one amazing woman. And I'm positive that Bobbie was comforted by your friendship. As a woman with questionable faith (agnostic, if you will), your representation of YOUR faith is absolutely beautiful to me. I enjoy reading about it, and I feel better after reading about it.

    I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend, and I hope it gets easier as her memory grows fonder and celebrated. I will light a candle on Nov. 2nd (I do celebrate Dio De Los Muertos, being a Tucson lifer) for the both of you and your friendship together. It's truly touching.

    Much love dear lady.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I just came across your blog and these pictures are too cute to not comment on =) Keep your head up...

    ReplyDelete