Tuesday, August 10

Ready to get on the baby train?

I'm pretty certain I've convinced myself that I'm pregnant multiple times and given into fake pregnancy cravings of really gross foods that I've fooled myself into believing I'm craving, because I'm certain I'm pregnant.... But am not.

Disclaimer: I'm NOT currently "with" child.... 

But I did however crave a spinach and Swiss cheese omelet recently. I was a few days "late" and because of these two hard facts, my husband and I excitedly skipped like a bunch of retards to the nearest Walmart last weekend to buy us an E.P.T. to solidify my suspicions. 

 We proudly sat our test on the check out counter, purchased it, and sped home to tinkle on it. 

It was negative. We were a little bummed. We got all excited driving to Walmart talking about our unborn children 
(using their already chosen names and talking about their future professions....)
 And saying things like 
"When the baby comes, I hope you can take off more than a day of work this time! 
Wouldn't that be great!"

Anyway. It was negative. We're fine with that. We are in no "hurry". 
But I'm getting the BUG. Bad too. I look at this little face:
And think, You would have been a really cute girl AND GET THE BABY BUG!

So we've been throwing around times and dates and "planning our future." 
(Right, like that ever happens)
I asked Dustin if he was ready to give Conrad a brother/sister tonight. Well first, I sat him down to show him the gooiest of gooey babies that ever lived. The sweetest of sweets. The squishiest of squishies.
(Our son when he was a gooey little baby boy)

He's got the itch. (But he wont admit it) He's got it bad. I know he does. We both do. 
He's just trying to play it cool and not seem so baby-desperate about the whole situation. 

We've got so many transitions going on in our lives right now, we're just enjoying our little turd and looking forward to what the future holds. But isn't he stinking cute?!
  I want to punch myself, he's so cute. I want to squeeze that little fat roll under his arm pit! I want to chew on some fat little 6 month old thighs and kiss some ear lobes. 

I am certifiably baby crazy. 
I've had to hold myself back from rubbing and squeal-talking to every adorable pregnant belly I see. 
I'm pretty certain I've convinced myself that I'm pregnant multiple times and given into fake pregnancy cravings of really gross foods that I've fooled myself into believing I'm craving, 
because I'm certain I'm pregnant.... 

Exhibit A: 
All of these items went into my omelet the other night. It was amazing for the first 30 seconds until i realized just how gross it actually was, (and continued to finish the rest until I had the worlds worst heart burn and the unspeakable ass-scorching quirts for the remainder of the evening.) Totally gross and embarrassing, especially when you try and describe this scenario to your mother in law who has in fact 
in front of my father in law 
(OK, help me out here, who does that. Who DOESN'T fart in front of their spouse in 20 years?!)
So at this point, I feel like a complete heathen-slob of a daughter in law.... 
I do however, fart around my husband. I'm just saying.... I'll be a heathen. I don't care.
He's not a baby anymore. There almost isn't any "baby" left in him. He's big now.
I miss those fat-squishy thighs. They're gone and now I'm just sad and baby-less.

Is Dustin ready to get on the baby train?!
We'll see if he gets on or not.
(I mean, hypothetically speaking y'all. Don't get crazy)

PS, I really can't believe my mother in law has never farted in front of her husband. 
I'm flabbergasted. I don't even know what to say. I'm so impressed. 
Sucking in your farts and getting up to leave the room to fart for 20 years is mind boggling. 


  1. if u want, u can babysit my lil brat gurl for a lil bit!!

  2. You are HILARIOUS. You do need to have another baby because you guys make DANG cute ones.

  3. I just tried to leave a comment... where'd it go???

    Anyways...... I was saying that your fart story about your MIL is hilarious! My mom has never farted in front of my dad... they've been married for 34 years!!!!!!! Isn't that insane???

    Also, yes!!! Get pregnant! You guys make the CUTEST babies!

  4. Yeah. What I want to know is how do you not fart in front of people when you are pregnant? I mean my coworkers may have even heard me.

    And that omelette sounds like something I would crave unpregnant. And now really want.

    And you can squeal at my pregnant belly all you want. Even if it is only via the world wide web. I'm sure the baby will even visit Vegas some time soon after he merges.

  5. well let me just tell you....i was craving shrimp like crazy (which also happened with olivia) and my period was late (but that's nothing new because i was still nursing!), but anyway, point is...i suspected!! so at my annual check up i told my doctor, i took a test there, and to my disappointment (because i was SO SURE!) it was negative. fast forward 3 weeks...take another test....big, fat positive in about .1 seconds. maybe it's just to soon to tell??

    or maybe it's just not the right time this month but next month will be :) i know what you are feeling though, lady. when i get the baby fever i get it bad. which is why i will have two children only 21 months apart! who knew it'd happen so fast this time for us. i sure didn't.

    anyway, good luck! can't wait to get on here and see an announcement post :) your conrad is such a little stud...i can't even imagine the little girl you'd have!!!!

  6. Pretty sure I farted around my husband while we were dating, even. I'm gross and definitely not the best example of being a well-mannered lady. heh.

  7. i FIGHT THE BUG. some days i want another one, some days i think i will wait until lucia is five, some days i think lucia will be an only! (though i am sure the urge will someday be so strong that lucia will definitely be a big sis).

    and as far as farting goes ... let's just leave it at this: my husband sometimes thinks i'm gross. and my mom is absolutely appalled that i would ever "pass gas" in front of my husband or any other human being for that matter. she, married for thirty years, has never farted (ew! mom, i wrote "farted!" better call the police.) in front of my father.

  8. HAHA I guess that's devotion??? Totally mind boggling!

  9. I would already like another one, but I know my brain wouldn't be able to handle that right now. And, I'm not going to get pregnant again.

    Not farting in front of hubby for 20 years? Man! SO not worth it.

  10. 5 years of being together/2 months of marriage and apparently we are both devoted. yeah, it's crazy. unspoken devotion. (it's kinda weird but there's no way i can back down now!)

  11. Conrad is so expressive! Love these shots, especially the one with him peeking over the side of his crib :)

  12. why would you do that to yourself and hold in your farts!? all i have to say is that's just not healthy :P my husband didn't fart in front of me until we were married, but i've been shameless since dating. hehe.

  13. I don't know man. Holding in farts makes my stomach hurt. I let em' rip. If I'm in public, I just blame it on the baby (I know i'm not the ONLY mom who does this!)


  14. I TOTALLY blame farts on my baby girl when in public! I can't stand to hold them in either :) we moms gotta take advantage while they're not talking. I can just see my daughter announcing to the store,"ewwww mama, you just farted!" (if she ever decides to talk...) luckily she doesn't know the difference yet ;) I've been on the baby train for a while now and my husband isn't jumping on quite yet.... :(

  15. ugh, i think about that with Lily and how much i miss her as a baby even though she is only 9 months old.

    also, lol, i have always made it a rule to never, never, ever fart in front of a lover. i was with my ex husband for 7 years and never farted in front of him. but 20 years...nice!

  16. So I've been reading your blog for a lil' while and love your stories about your family and life. Just wanted to give you some encouragement. Last October I was late like a week or little bit more, took a test, it was negative, and I got my "friend" the next day. What a waste of a good pregnancy test. Then November comes and my "friend" doesn't show, but I'm dumb and think, well I took a test it said negative, maybe things are just messed up from being late last month. Then December comes and still nothing so I go and take another test and this time it said positive. I went to my first doctor appointment a few days later and was already 8/9 weeks along.

  17. Wow Jennifer. I have almost the exact same story of when we got pregnant with Conrad. We totally thought i was pregnant the month before we were, took a test and weren't. Then the following month, I started craving olives and Dustin was like, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, you just ate an entire jar of olives! So he rushed off to the drug store at 9 at night to get a test. I told him not to bother with a test because I wasn't pregnant. The test was positive! I was 6 weeks pregnant at that point! Wowsa.

    We'll see how things go. We're both getting more excited about talking about baby #2, so who knows. Thanks for sharing your story, you're so sweet!

  18. Hehe, funny how things work. We definitely weren't planning on baby #2, in fact we had just celebrated our son's 1st birthday 2 weeks before we found out. So now we have a 20 month old, Levi, and a 3 week old baby girl, Rian!

  19. I swear you're gonna get pregnant within the next few months, if not next..

  20. i'm thinking about getting pregnant again too! when my husband gets back from deployment i'm thinking of getting my IUD taken out.

    and also, the best farting situation is of course in bed. enough said.

  21. Different strokes for different folks I guess :)We have a firm rule- no farting/belching/using the restroom in front of each other. Of course, things happen on accident, but the "let 'er rip with gusto and pride" thing does not happen. We both agreed to it, and I'm pretty sure he suggested it. After a previous bf got up from bed *ahem*, walked to the bathroom, and peed with the door open and spewing a stream of farts I promised myself never again. My last boyfriend and I had the same agreement, haha. I pop in every now and again, and I have to say I love your blog!