Wednesday, July 14

Summer Fashion Week: Wednesday

I had lots to do today. I took my friend Bobbie to her chemo appointment and sat with her laughing my butt off and making fun of her, telling the nurses that the only way she's been able to cope with her cancer is by delving deeper into her hard-core addiction to the "crack rock". I emphasized the words, "crack-rock" to make sure they knew I was kidding, but she sure as hell got a kick out of it. "She's been hitting it hard", I warned the nurses. And of course, she busted up laughing and I got slapped!

She smiled at Conrad as he toddled around. The drugs kicked in and she quickly started to fall asleep, (lying there for 3 hours receiving her chemo). My humor was only a band-aid and when it was ripped off, I knew the pain of the situation, of sitting in a room full of comfortably padded reclining chairs, the place where those who are sick come to get well, in hopes that their cancer would die. That room was weighing heavy on my heart. I hated her sitting in that chair. This place wasn't comfortable at all. When I noticed that she was almost completely unconscious, I stole a kiss and said "love you."

I'm trying to be strong, but I think I've cried more than she has.
The lump was thick in my throat as I walked out of that hospital with my baby on my hip.
I'm still believing God and praying for a recovery.

(That was earlier this week.)

We had a wonderful conversation today on the phone and hearing her laugh, hearing her affirm me in Christ, hearing her encourage me to pursue Jesus with all that is within me makes me feel like this is what life is really all about. She gives me energy and ignites a fire in me. When I hear this song, I can't help but think of her because she so ferociously loves the Lord and I'm certain I've never seen someone so radiantly, and genuinely BE WHO THEY ARE, and yet completely want to be just like Jesus too. It's like seriously the most beautiful thing in the world to watch.

I've seen people shake their fist at God in anger about the situations that left them feeling like they were given the short end of the stick. I've seen marriages fall apart because of adultery, and parents shun their children because they are gay, or sickness that makes people feel defeated. People have lots of reason to hate God. People have lots of reasons to say "Why would God let this happen to me!" Well folks, I've had lots of shitty things happen to me too, and maybe it's my "child like faith" that says, "God's got a reason for this horrible situation." But, I can encourage you in saying that even when I've been through my darkest of days, He's shown up. He's taken me through it. He is good. My heart rests in that truth tonight. Maybe His fame is greater than mine?

I kind of feel like a faith that says "my life is all about my comfort or my happiness" is a self- based faith that is only going to be leaving you feeling like you've-got-to-take-a-crap-in-the-middle-of-the-night-on-a-camping trip and can't find your flash light-and your toilet papers all used up! Who wants to poop in a bush in the dark?
I'm just saying. Life isn't always comfortable or pretty. It's not about you. It's not about how hot your ass is or how great you are at ________ . You're not that cool! (that was me giving me a reality check. Please ignore and read on.)

Mostly I am just inspired by the fact that Bobbie hasn't yet given God the finger because her of cancer. She's leaned on him hard and has gotten to feel him pressing back into her. It has been such a great example to me. I feel deaf and dumb when I physically see that faith lived out in front of my face. When I see her saying, "Whatever you want Lord. Have your way!" It's just stupid. It's insane and all encompassing to me. It's incredible. I want to just squeeze her shoulders and say to her, "God I love you, you crazy bitch. You're insane!!" (believe me, I've done that very thing! Hallelujah, Jesus! God is so good to give me such an amazing friend.) I'm so so grateful to get to be apart of her healing. I'm so grateful that God hears us when we cry out.

I'm so glad that her tumor is shrinking.

Oh Jesus, heal her! I pray that she gets to stay with us on earth and have tons of beautiful grand babies and I don't care if you think I'm selfish. I want that cancer gone!

On a much more UN-important note, I'm wearing this:
I am wearing:
Shirt: Old Navy
Belt: Gap
Necklace: Khol's
Jeans: Diesel
Flippy flops: Target

I really can't say enough of how good God is.
I'm overwhelmed.

Thank you ladies for praying with me. Prayer changing things.
I can't thank you enough.

26 comments:

  1. Just want to say that I know what you are going through, a friend of mine is going through chemo right now to shrink a tumor on his lung. He's been on life support for a couple of days but every day he is making progress and that is all that matters. Your friend is in my thoughts and prayers as well, they can beat this!

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  2. Thanks for sharing about your friend. The way you write about it is so real and raw and I appreciate that. Also, your top is so great! Love how feminine it looks and how you accessorized it with the necklace.

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  3. for starters, your friend is so lucky to have you! my dad just died of cancer (sorry for the bummer comment) and i know how hard it was for other people to be strong for him. it's really important for her to have that support, because sometimes i'm sure she doesn't feel like being strong.

    anyway, rad outfit once again. you're like the cutest. i want to put you in my pocket.

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  4. Jess Craig, that wasn't a bummer comment at all. It made me smile. Thank you for your comment. Gosh, I'm so sorry about your Dad.

    I appreciate you girls and your sweet words. I hope everyone's not annoyed with me that my blog today isn't just about fashion.... don't hate me. ;/

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  5. So I was reminded last week that NO WHERE in the bible does it say to only pray for God's will, and that we get WAY TOO caught up with doing so. We will keep praying in our selfishness for her life-without ANY reservation.

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  6. Thanks Mae. I mean, obviously, I'd rather have God's plan played out rather than mine seeing that I see the world in tunnel vision and he knows the bigger picture, or what's "best" in the end, but YES, I am praying for what I want as well.

    You're a sweetheart. thank you.

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  7. You're a great friend. I honestly believe that a good friend will be the last person to give up on someone, even if they've given up, themselves! But it sounds like your friend is strong, too. Sending you my best thoughts!

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  8. You made me cry as I read this on the train. I love the way you express your relationship with the Lord. It is inspiring. And heartwarming. And all that good stuff. I've had to lean on Him lots lately and its those moments when I have broken down and he has built me back up. Providing the comfort that everything will be alright.....those are the moments that I cherish the most.

    And BLESS you for being there for your friend.

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  9. someday there will be a cure for cancer. In the meantime it's friends like you that are the light in the darkness...
    --------------
    What a cute outfit. I love those purplish jeans and the matching necklaces. Oh and your hair rocks too. :-)

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  10. Your friend sounds like a fighter with a great outlook on life and I think this will only serve her for the better on this journey she's taking. And you're an amazing friend for being there for her. And there is definitely no annoyance on this end over the subject matter. Fashion posts are fun (you look gorgeous by the way!) but there comes a time for substance. I think you did justice to both today.

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  11. Love that shirt, especially with those adorable necklaces!

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  12. i love this post and much prayers for everything working out right. what a good friend you are.

    Cute clothes, I am loving them.

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  13. That was a BEAUTIFUL post. I needed to hear those things to put my faith back in check for today and stop focusing on ME. While you wrote about cancer, the trust in God is such a universal issue. I'm feeling lonely and hurt in my marriage right now, but I don't feel like it's appropriate to write about on my blog. Anyway, reading this today puts things in perspective and reminds me God is waiting for me to finally come back to him with my problems. Thanks for sharing~
    And as always, super cute outfit :)

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  14. It must be so hard for you to walk this road with your friend, but it is absolutely great that you are just there with her - I lot of people I know are freaked out by any serious illness and withdraw from the friendship.

    Oh and I love the shirt - especially on the shoulders, I like wearing white in summertime.

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  15. Meghan, I'm glad you were encouraged. Your comment really blesses me, so thank you for saying what you said. It's crazy, I was JUST having this conversation with two of my other girlfriends about how important it is to stand in the gap and pray for one another's marriages when we don't have the strength to pray, or wisdom to know what to do. I feel like I'd be lost without the love of my girlfriends who cheer me on through life. I think it's ok to say that you're struggling. It's reaffirming to know that when we linger away, God is faithful to pull us back in. He's like a tether. I love that I can't go too far before I get jerked right back. Thanks for sharing about your marriage. Now I know what I can pray for you about.

    **I sometimes feel like I end up putting my foot in my mouth over the not so popular topics that end up on my blog. But as long as you write what you feel strongly about, and write for you, I don't think it matters how "appropriate" it is.

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  16. Oh Chelsea, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend Bobbie, but I AM glad to hear that Bobbie has a friend like you to be with her and pray for her. Keep praying, God has a plan to prosper Bobbie and not to harm her (Jeremiah 11-ish?) Whatever the outcome of Bobbie's cancer, it's comforting to know that God has not foresaken her.

    Also, miracles DO happen! My friend was completely healed earlier this year:
    http://killerbramblings.blogspot.com/2010/05/testimony-of-miraculous-healing.html

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  17. Thank you for sending me that post. You rock! Seriously. Thank you!

    (I like how you said Jeremiah 11-ish? That's so something I would do! You're too cute!)

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  18. "I hope everyone's not annoyed with me that my blog today isn't just about fashion.... don't hate me."

    There are so many things in the world so much bigger than fashion. Kudos to you for saying exactly what was in your heart.

    In church, we're going through a series on the Holy Spirit, and two weeks ago, it was about healings and miracles. Here is what I wrote in my notes:
    "Always ask boldly for healings and miracles. God's will will be done, but our faith grows when we ask and He answers. Pray like King David (2 Samuel 12:16-20). He prays earnestly, and when his prayers go unanswered, he turns right around and worships his sovereign God."

    Hope this may help a little! Keep leaning on the Lord.

    That all being said - I love the way the colors in the necklace pop against your white shirt.

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  19. Wow, Charlotte. Preach it girl! That totally ministered to me. Wow. You're so rad, thank you.

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  20. Chelsea, it is amazing how life takes a turn when someone becomes ill. My mother was ill for a long part of her life, but she always said that it was those who surrounded her that made everything worthwhile. Your strength passes on to her and so forth. Sometimes G-D has plans, and the hope is that we have completed all of them before we have to go...keep [assing on your strength.
    So glad I could connect with you and everyone else. On a lighter note, Love the necklace! I have never been to Kohls? Maybe I should visit..

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  21. I second what Amanda said. You're a beautiful person, inside and out.

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  22. Wow! I love how you handle such a tough topic both in your writing style and your attitude. And you look AH-MAZING. That necklace is almost as eye-catching as your sparkly personality.

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  23. What awesome news that the tumor is shrinking! And what I find even more awesome is how God is growing each of you individually, how He's deepening your friendship and most importantly how He's drawing you both to Him in the midst of these seemingly yucky circumstances.
    We serve an AMAZING God.
    I pray that your hopes match perfectly with God's perfect plan.

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  24. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. it's such a hard situation but instead of feeling helpless you're easing her worries. such a wonderful person you are!

    I love how you paired that gorgeous necklace with those jeans. the belt and the top are also perfectly matched. adorable!

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  25. I loved reading your post...God is so good and I needed to be reminded of that. Your outfit is amazing but not anywhere near as amazing as you are!

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  26. What a beautiful post...your friend sounds like one amazing lady, and what an inspiration to see her faith remain firm throughout something like this. She is lucky to have a friend like you...I can just imagine the light of Jesus radiating from the two of you as y'all sat giggling together. Will be praying for you both!!

    And on a lighter note, that necklace is fabulous!! I've never had much luck at Kohl's but now I think I will take a closer look at their jewelry section =)

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