Sunday, August 19

Finding A Balance Between Crunchy Underwear & Being Present

This week has had it's share of ups and downs. High highs and low lows.

Conrad won't take a nap anymore, which more than sucks. Initially, he will lay in his bed and "Rest" for a few minutes, but just as I lay my head down OR start working on photos OR cleaning my house, he starts chanting, "Mom.... Mom.... Motttthhhher! Moooooouuum. Come get me Mom. I'm hungry. My foot got stuck on the side of my bed. I need water! I need to poop. I have fuzz on my face Mom! I need a hug. Wake Elle up Mom! I hear her! She's crying for boob mom! Feed her." <------ Totally lying. She was sleeping....  It's always right as I start to fall asleep that he starts chanting or lying about fuzz or poop OR his sister to get my attention. It always works. Then he comes out of his room and plays trains while I try to get work done. Then, moments later his sister wakes up! F my life! I promised to have that disc in the mail yesterday and the next time I'll get to work on those images is tonight BUT what if Elle is teething and wants to be rocked for an hour? Dustin will have to stay home from the gym again so he can tend to her while I tend to my work..... which would be fine if you didn't love the chocolate cake from Bonjor or croissants from scratch. I get it, you recently lost 20lbs. But, you can miss the gym every now and then.

I've been struggling to find a balance between mommy hood, wifey hood and work-y-hood (it's a word) It's been a challenge to make everything flow like it should and never have anyone who depends on me feel neglected. This week had me feeling spread very thin. I don't think you can truly have it all whether you work in or out of the home. It's like, some days I feel like a rock star because I played my heart out with the kids all afternoon BUT I didn't get dinner on the table, OR I cooked all afternoon with needy Elle under my feet and neglected the kids. And as mothers, we are so easy to beat ourselves up for missing the mark when we're the ones setting the mark and usually the mark is unrealistic.....

Being present. That is the mark. Whether my disc got to the post office, my hair got washed that day, dinner is or isn't on the table or if my house is a mess, being present is the goal. Everything else is just stuff. Everything else can wait.

We've gone for almost a week and a half without a dryer. Just thought I'd mention it because I'm annoyed about it. Ours is broken and for one reason or another the owner or property management group has taken their sweet ass time getting it fixed. Crunchy, line dried underwear aren't fun-nor are the teeny lacy only-underwear-left-in-the-drawer-that-only-one-half-of one of my butt cheeks fits into! .... PLUS the house that we rent is being painted this weekend and the owner picked out an orange-pink color! <---- gag me now. Oh, the joys of renting!

It's also been a strange season relationally. I've prayed and wrestled a lot with God this week. Do I keep trying or do I let it go? What is healthiest for me? My heart has been broken over a few relationships that I've had to let go of. I felt like the Lord said to me recently, "I give and take away." And boy is that so true. I've suddenly made some of the greatest friends in the midst of the heartache of the ones that I have had to step away from. I want friends that are willing to fight for my friendship and fright for ME in the ebbs and flows of life, because dammit, I'm worth fighting for! I want Friends who are in it to speak truth into my life and speak LIFE into me when I can't find truth. I've also realized just how powerful relationships are for me. It's vital for my own well being to be surrounded by woman almost constantly. I'm not the loner I once thought I was. I'm just grateful for such awesome woman to love and be loved by. I am thankful for Cara & Morgan who are some of my very best friends (even though they live in other states.) This week was difficult for me. I am grateful for their love.

**If you're still reading, thank you for listening to me me complain. I really do have a lot of great things going on that are more worthy of talking about other than my crunchy underwear and my whinny Conrad and being overwhelmed. Creatively, nothing makes me feel more alive than the joys of photography & I am so fortunate to be able to bless others with it. Often times, I feel like I'm the one who is blessed by the relationships that I've made and the love I get to witness and capture. It would be depressing to not be "overwhelmed" with work.....

Photos above:
1. The hubs watching Elle's Baby Einstein DVD about farm animals.
2. C & E wrestling.
3. C & E clapping and dancing to their kid music.
4-5. Family date night at Town Square to eat and play in the water.
6. Elle wearing her lemons and oranges outfit and hat from her friend Isla.
7. Conrad playing in the water.
8. Elle nursing/sticking her fingers in my mouth during dinner. No one told me that nursing
a toddler was so much fun. Her little games are the best.
9. The kids playing while Dustin made chocolate croissants. <------ this is why I can't shed the baby weight. If he would just stop baking, and I would stop eating, my life would be SO much simpler.

{2 Timothy} <----- You're welcome. 


  1. I always like your raw posts. Hope the new weeks brings a possible nap & perspective when life is spinning. I loved your point about being there. (I have a shower curtain that matches your bedding.) I've learned so many things about friendship & thankful for the ones that stick it out to get back the fluffy stuff.

  2. I love this post! Thank you for keeping it real lady! I am right there with you. Luck and love!

  3. You are SO beautiful and I'm in love with that picture of you and Elle laughing together. AAAH Momma and baby girl. SO beautiful!!! I love you Chels!

  4. I swear this has been my very same week! It is so hard trying to get ANYTHING done. I call Pearl "The two minute napper" and Clover rarely takes naps these day's as well, and damn does she have energy! hang in there you are not alone.

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