I Left The Hospital During Labor To Deliver At Home: Janelle's Birth Story

"I wanted to run away. I did not want to be at the hospital anymore. I had the strongest urge to 
get the hell out of there! My maternal instincts had kicked in."

{Lochlan & I}

With the anticipation of having my first child I decided, I wanted to be as informed as any parent could leading up to the labor and delivery process. I watched video after video on youtube of Mother’s giving birth in the hospital, at home, in water, on a bed, the floor, using medication, not using medication. I watched documentaries like “The Business of Being Born” and “Water Baby: Experiences of Waterbirth” just to name a few. I read so many books. The typical What to Expect When You’re Expecting (which I hated – made me terrified of being pregnant and having a baby). I loved everything by Dr. Sears, The Birth Book, The Baby Book, The Breastfeeding Book, Attachment Parenting. I read Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth, Ina May’s Guide to Breastfeeding, but the book that helped me the most and radiated through my core was Birthing From Within by Pam England & Rob Horowitz. The books main emphasis is on women’s intuitive and natural ability to give birth. Women need to trust in their bodies and in essence “get out of the way” and let their body do the work. I believed this to be true and for me I was right.

I come from a long line of natural birthing women and decided I felt most comfortable delivering my son at the hospital. Although I knew it would be more of a challenge to go natural. I felt in case anything did happen we would be in good hands. I had a healthy pregnancy. I was 25, in good shape and ready to be a Mom. My son progressed and was developing, as he should. My due date was March 25^th and on March 19^th we went in for our final visit with my OB/GYN Dr. Harter who I had transferred to only 2 months before after finding out that my OB at the time would not allow me to do a water birth at the hospital. Dr. Harter did his usual exam and said that the baby looked good. Our son was head down and in the proper position. Now it was just of matter of waiting for him to come out.

On March 20^th around 10:30pm I had a contraction. Having had multiple contractions in the previous weeks I did not think much about it. However, when it came I said to my body,

“Please keep it coming. I am ready.” I had prayed several times that day that my son would be born on March 21^st, which is a special day because my little sister Emma was born on that day.

My partner David came home around 1:30am from work and I told him I had been having contractions. He said, “What can we do to keep them coming? I’m ready for our son to be here!” I asked him to do some reflexology on my feet, which he did for a little under an hour. At 2:00am I had another contraction that was stronger than the previous ones. I think it worked!

I decided to call my Doula Naomi O’ Callaghan to let her know I was having contractions about every twenty minutes. She told me to take a shower and try to get some sleep because if it were time for him to come I would need as much energy as I could get. I got off the phone with her and immediately had an intense contraction.

I could NOT sleep. I tried but I was so excited and the contractions kept coming every 10 minutes, then every 7 minutes and then they got down to every 5 minutes. I had David call Naomi to let her know the situation. Naomi decided it was a good time to come over. She showed up at the house around 7:30am with her assistance Sheree. They came into our room and I immediately felt more relaxed and excited knowing my son was on his way. The contractions kept coming on stronger and stronger and the best way for me to relax through them was on my hands and knees spiraling my hips or standing up with Naomi doing hip compression (these made the pain decrease by about 70%). After each contraction I allowed myself to relax and enjoy my down time. I thought about the journey my son was taking and reminded myself he needed me to be strong and brave and that my body knew was it was doing.

At one point Naomi made me go on a walk around the block to help my labor progress. We passed by a man that was watering his lawn. I had to stop due to a contraction and you could tell he had no idea what was going on. I remember the look on his face…shock and awe. When we got back to the house Naomi checked me and told me I was at a 4. She said if I wanted to get the most use out of the birthing tub that we should head to the hospital.

We got to the hospital around 10am. I walked in alone while David parked the car and Naomi got her supplies ready. I was going through the doors when a contraction came. A nurse rushed over to me and yelled for someone to get a wheel chair. I told her I was fine and she insisted. I said, “NO, I prefer to walk.” She looked at me and said, “You’re a warrior woman. I can respect that.” This charged me up. I was about to have a child! (Maybe she wasn't used to seeing woman walking, or rather laboring through labor?)

I went up to the labor and delivery floor where they checked me in to a triage room to monitor the baby and check my dilation. The nurse had me put on one of those awful hospital gowns and get into a bed. I immediately felt nervous and uncomfortable. It was not a welcoming and comfortable environment. A nurse came in and started asking me questions, which were hard to process and answer through contractions. The nurse checked my dilation and said she could not feel the head of the baby so she ordered for me to have an ultrasound. Before they did the ultrasound they informed me that my Dr. was out of town and so the on-call Dr. would be doing my delivery and she was not comfortable with water births. I felt so much disappointment at that point I could barely breathe. David came in and then the ultrasound technician came in. She immediately said, “Your baby is frank breech. I’m going to order an epidural for your caesarean.” I lost my breath and felt tears swelling in my eyes. I was confused, overwhelmed… I had such a healthy pregnancy and he was head down for so long. I asked her to wait a minute so I could process what was happening. Then the on-call Dr. came in and said she would be doing the surgery. She then said, “We need to get your epidural going now.” I asked her to wait and she said, “For what?!” I responded, “To get my head wrapped around this.” I was hysterical. She then said, “Your baby is breech do you know what that means?” David and I looked at each other, aggravated that she was talking to us like we were uninformed parents.

David held my hand and asked me what I wanted to do. I told him to get Naomi so I could talk to her. I did not want to have a cesarean but was not sure I had any other options. I asked the Dr. if I could get up and move around and try to adjust him myself (which I had read about) and she said no I had to stay in the bed. I felt like I was being tortured. I felt like my hands were tied. I felt like I had no control.

When Naomi came in I was crying. I could barely think through the contractions and being in the bed was making them so much worse. The nurse had been standing there staring at me, obviously wanting me to get a move on it. David asked Naomi what my options were and told her we did not want to have a cesarean. You could see the sympathy and sadness on her face. She immediately got on the phone calling Dr.’s to see if any of them would do a breech delivery at the hospital, none would.

I wanted to run away. I did not want to be at the hospital anymore. I had the strongest urge to get the hell out of there. My maternal instincts had kicked in. I felt like if I stayed there my child and I would be in danger. Naomi then started calling midwives to see if any of them were available that had experience in breech deliveries. She finally was able to get in touch with Marvelous Lopez, who had actually delivered Naomi’s last child, a VBAC homebirth. We were desperate. What was happening to me just didn't feel right.

Naomi informed Marvy of the situation and asked her if she felt comfortable and confident in delivering a frank breech. She said yes but wanted to talk to us about the risks. David spoke with her and got all the pros and cons. After weighing them I decided I wanted to leave the hospital and deliver at home. We informed Marvy that we were broke and would not be able to pay her right away and she said, “The most important thing is that this baby is born into the world with love and care.” David and I could not have agreed more. Those words were a glimmer of hope.

I told the nurse I was leaving and immediately asked to get unhooked from the machines. I had to sign an against medical advice form to leave. As we were walking out you could have heard a pin hit the floor. The nursing staff was in shock that I was leaving the hospital. I was so sure everything was going to be okay with the delivery. I knew it was a “risk” but I felt in my heart it was the right decision, and that my body could deliver my child, even if it was against medical advice. As I was walking to the car I had another very strong contraction. A nurse that was on break ran up to me and asked if I needed a wheelchair. I said, “No thank you, I’m going home.” I will never forget the look on her face. It was priceless, one of complete confusion and disdain.

Once we got home I was in active labor. I immediately went outside and laid over a chair to labor while waiting for the midwife. David’s parents and sister were helping David and Naomi move the outside furniture for the tub and getting towels handy. I had a few contractions and all of a sudden the midwife was there along with her assistant. I was so happy when she showed up because I knew the baby could come now. Even though I had never met Marvy she had a relaxing, soothing and nurturing energy about her. I knew the baby and I were in good hands. A moment later another midwife showed up, Kim Trower, to be of assistance to Marvy. I had five women to help me deliver my son. Incredible.

The tub was taking a long time to fill up so I asked if I could labor in the Jacuzzi. David came in with me. It was so intimate and loving having him behind me, holding my hips and rubbing my back. Then the doorbell rang and it was a police officer. The officer said there was a noise complaint and asked if “…people were F!@&ing in the back yard?” The neighbors called and said they thought a porno was being shot because a naked man and women were in a Jacuzzi while people were filming. David’s Dad informed him that it was not a porno that it was in fact a woman in labor. The police officer did not believe him and wanted to see. In the middle of a contraction I look up and see a cop standing there. We made eye contact and he looked a little scared. I smiled at him not quite sure what was going on and went back to laboring. He realized he could leave.

Then my water broke and I felt the baby drop. I had to get out of the Jacuzzi because it was not a sterile environment. The tub was not ready. Marvy asked me what I wanted to do. I wanted to be in water because I was scared it would hurt more if I were not. I suggested the master bath and they decided to get it ready for me. In between contractions I got out of the hot tub and rushed upstairs. When I got to the bedroom I threw my body over the bed because the tub was still not ready and I was having a very intense contraction. I had a few more and then I pushed once and the babies’ feet came out.

At that point they realized the baby was not frank breech but in fact footling breech which is a much more complicated type of delivery. David said the midwives and Doula’s looked worried. They asked me to get into the bathtub. Might I say walking with feet hanging out of you is bizarre. As soon as I got in the tub the baby kept coming faster and faster and the pain kicked in full force. I started pushing as hard as I could with each contraction and with each push I felt my energy level deplete. At one point I could no longer feel contractions and it did not seem like I was getting anywhere. I kept looking down and could see his legs hanging out of me but nothing else. I was not about to give up though. I was delivering this child!

Naomi kept telling me to push, push, push, which I was but he was stuck. Apparently, he had an arm caught by his neck and his cord had collapsed which meant he was no longer getting oxygen. All the midwives were doing what they could to support my perineum and stretch me while I pushed to help him out but nothing was working. I had lost steam.

After a couple minutes Marvy said, “We NEED to get this baby out.” She asked me to get out of the tub. She told me to lie on my back on the floor. I pulled my legs to my chest and with every ounce of energy left in my body, I gave one more push and she twisted the baby and he came out. He was very grey. He was not breathing on his own and they immediately began an Ambu bag to get him breathing.

At that point I thought to myself, what the hell did I do? Had I killed my son? Should I have had a c-section. I was scared but I knew I had to be there for him. I could not give up now. He was lying next to me looking so helpless. I held his hand and started talking to him. I told him how much I loved him and wanted him to be in my life. I told him I knew he had been through a hard journey but that everything was going to be okay, Mommy was here now. I was so afraid but strangely calm. Although he was not breathing he did have a heartbeat and that gave me hope.

At about five minutes his color had gone from grey to pink. I looked up at David and he had tears in his eyes. I knew I had to stay in the moment with the baby to help him come to. After about 10 minutes he started taking breaths. At 12 minutes he was breathing on his own. The air in the room got lighter and people started laughing and smiling. I loved my son so much and was beyond proud of him for being so strong and brave. We did it, together.

Lochlan Eugene was born on March 21^st at 1:25pm on the bathroom floor in his Grandparents’ bedroom with the assistance of 2 Doula’s, 3 Midwives and the love of an entire family standing by. He weighed 6lbs and 8oz.

A true miracle birth.

My advice to parents out there, be informed but follow your instincts. My decision could have ended badly but no one knows what could have happened to my child or me if I had stayed and had the surgery. Only you can choose what is best for your family. I feel strongly that I made the right choice for me. My son is happy, healthy and thriving. He is now one year old!

He amazes me every second and I am so thankful and blessed to be his Mom.