Sweetly Broken:

The last few weeks have been interesting, hard, confusing, & frustrating. What I do know is that even if life is hard, I'm not out at sea drowning in the middle of crashing waves, even if it sometimes feels like that.  I'm not alone. Maybe I'm the only one who can go weeks on end without really connecting with my spouse or feeling really gung-ho about life, but that's where we've been lately. Co-existing, not engaging, not experiencing life together but witnessing days pass by. When I start to waver in my faith or question God's goodness or start to get numb and complacent, I'm thankful for a God who wakes me up in the middle in the night to re-evaluate where I am and pray with my spouse. I never want to stop growing in my marriage or get "comfortable". This week we got that nudging from God to talk, repent of sin, refocus, & refresh. I love that when I tell Dustin that the Lord has been doing something in my heart about a specific topic, he sometimes admits that he's dealing with that very same issue too. It reaffirms to me that we're not just two separate beings floating through life. I love that God only lets us stray just enough before he whips us right back to himself. Just like when I was a kid playing tether ball, I'm that tether ball that stretches my rope way out, and then quickly gets wrapped back around the tethers pole. I love that he doesn't let us go for too long without engaging. He wakes us up to worship him and be near him. Without that, I fear our marriage would die and our love would shrink up into nothing. John 15:1-2 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the vine dresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes cuts off, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. I love this picture of God cutting off anything in me that is ugly or nasty, that doesn't bear fruit, that isn't good. This verse brings me great comfort knowing that I'm constantly being worked on. I love that God is jealous for my affections and when he doesn't have my attention, when my heart is far from my husband, when my heart cares more about being "in the world" and not "being in Jesus", he is quick to pull me back in. He wakes me up and demands my affection, even at 2 am. Even if my heart is hard and I feel empty and have nothing to offer. He's so faithful and just. He doesn't want numb, complacent, resentful, marriages that are just surviving. He wants us to thrive and live! God's grace and love are overwhelming at times. And just because this song was amazing at church today, I'm sharing it with you. 

{Happy Weekend.}