It's All About to Change Forever

Today I wore- Blue Skinny chords: Gap (x-mas gift from mom.) Shirt: Buffalo Exchange

Sweater: Anthro (mom's closet) Clip on pearl earrings: a gift from Dustin's grandma

Where's Conrad?

Yesterday my Mother in law and I grabbed a bite to eat after I took Conrad to the play gym to hang with his buddies. As I was quickly inhaling my Greek salad and mac and cheese, I glanced up at the two of them sitting across from me and suddenly burst into tears. Not cute, sweet-tears but loud obnoxious, uncontrollable tears. Full blown ugly cry was upon me. Before I could control my hyperventilating and explain to my m.i.l what was wrong, she handed me a napkin to clean my face and I tried to pull myself together.
(Aren't sudden-hormonal outbursts a such lovely part of pregnancy?)

He was sitting in the booth, NOT in his highchair. He was stabbing his muffin so gracefully and feeding himself like a big boy. He was sipping from his apple juice box and not squeezing it all over his shirt or in his face...."He's never going to be this little ever again!" I explained. Do other moms go through this painful realization? Will I be so overwhelmed and concentrated on my next baby that I forget to stop to savor the snuggles? I'm afraid of losing him.

We have a tiny 3 bedroom condo & we're trying to figure out whether we were going to make the office the baby's room or put the two kids together in one room. It makes me sad to take Conrad's routine away from him or interrupt his sleep with a new born baby in the same room as he's in. I love reading every night, singing our songs and snuggling him for a few minutes before I put him in bed. Even our nightly routine has been making me sad lately. I'm snuggling my sweet baby boy, whose already too big to be rocked, and I'm overcome with love for him. I'm sad that in a few months, my belly might be too big to really snuggle him good. It makes me sad.

I'm SO excited for him to have a buddy to play with and grow up with, but it's always just been the two of us all day together. You know when you're in love and you love that other person so intensely that it's almost a painful feeling? I believe mom's feel this painful-love feeling for their kids. My heart has been aching lately feeling like once this new baby comes, every last part of him that was once "baby" will be gone.

Today we played peek a boo in the curtains.

He thought I couldn't see him.....

Then he jumped out with a loud, "BOOO!" and found me!

{I have a feeling I'm going to be in just as much

"pain-love" with the next one.}