Wednesday, December 1

Short and Sweet.

Today we met with a really wonderful Christian doctor who has agreed to deliver our next baby via "VA-jay-jay" instead of slicing me open (sorry for lack of better words.) I'm not totally against slicing girls open, I'm just a little uneasy, offended, bothered, upset, disgruntled, angry etc. that almost EVERY friend of mine has the same story. They all had emergency C-Sections. It seems like it's happening all the time. It's normal. It's no big deal. Well. For me, It has been an extremely big deal. I feel like a lot of my failure to breastfeed, have energy, and bounce back from the hormonal face plant we all feel after childbirth was way more intense than it might have been had I not been completely drugged up on pain meds for two weeks after I was cut open. I feel like those first few weeks were such a blur because I wasn't myself and couldn't properly care for my baby like I wanted to. BUT, believe me. I trust that my birth was exactly what the Lord had planned. It wasn't MY plan, but it has taught me a lot. AND I'm grateful for doctors who are trained to deal with situations like mine where things don't happen like they're supposed to.
(It would be cool to see this piece of art in a doctor's office.)
We told him the whole story of Conrad's birth and he was totally impressed that I labored for 13 hours without pain meds ON Pitosin. He was VERY encouraging about the next delivery and felt like from what he heard from us, I was induced way too early and next time around, He WILL NOT induce me. He can't induce me actually because the risks are higher of my uterus rupturing and such. He supports us in our desires and he seemed very nonchalant about it actually. He told us that he had just done a V-Bac the night before and he said it's no big deal, it's just labor. There is a 1% chance of rupturing and it usually happens when the woman is about 8 centimeters dilated. He was extremely honest about the "business" of labor and delivery these days. He agreed that most doctors would rather do C-sections because they don't have to wait around for the woman to labor and it's more "cost effective" but it doesn't mean that what's going on is right. He seemed very transparent and genuine. When I talked to him about birth being a very worshipful experience and how the husband has a big roll in birthing his children, his eyes got watery which made us feel like he had the same passion/heart that we have.

He did however let us know that during the birth, If he sees that something isn't right, he has no problem making sure that I am safe and the baby is safe, but that there is no reason to worry about having a vaginal birth after c-section.

Dustin has been reading this book and we've been discussing the topic of birth and what it means to us recently, having had a C-section and feeling like all of the nurses were making decisions and did not give me peace to labor. They were very eager to urge me to take pain meds and getting on my nerves while I was laboring.... I told the doctor that I felt like my desire to labor was taken from me and I felt robbed. (I had Dustin come to the appointment with me in case I turned into a pile of mush, which I did, and he spoke on my behalf.) I have this huge will and passion to experience my birth an go through the process. I would almost compare it to a man's desire to provide for his family and be the breadwinner. I'm sure he gets a lot of gratification doing so. I feel a deep urning for the same gratification that birth might give me. I hated laying in a hospital bed waiting hours upon hours for SOMETHING to happen until nothing happened and I get a c-section. I might have been able to go home and continue to labor there or wait, but it would have been against doctors orders for me to leave, and if i left, and something happened to the baby, the insurance wouldn't have covered it or something....

I wonder sometimes why there weren't nurses there encouraging me to walk the halls, coaching me to breath correctly, and telling me I could do it, don't give up! I had no cheerleaders. I had a nurse who smelled like cigarettes and fake tanning lotion who had better thank her lucky stars I didn't throw up all down her cute mickey mouse scrubs as I was hunched over her shoulder getting my epidural. Either way, we're going to deliver in a hospital though. I'm not a doctor hater. They are educated and have tons of experience. I have Friends who are labor and delivery nurses and doctor friends. I don't think they're idiots who don't value the birthing process, or lame brains who just want to cover their asses. I think there are a lot of them who love medicine and are gifted to practice. And some who aren't.

So enough of my ranting. I am thankful that the Lord has fashioned this desire in my heart and my husbands heart to search out a doctor who will be on board with us even if our way may not be the most popular way of doing things, I feel an enormous tugging at my heart that this is the best thing for us.

*We're not pregnant yet. We may not be for many months-(or a few months, weeks, days.... whatever!) But I kind of felt like before I EVEN got pregnant, I wanted to interview a few Doctors to see what my options were.

**Thank you to my friends who have listened to me rant and bitch and curse the man these last few months about how jacked up our system is. I've cried many tears and prayed many prayers about this next chapter in my life and I have a really wonderful support of girls who understand the desires I have. I also respect hospitals and nurses and midwives for the difficult jobs they do. I do not in any way knock hospitals or think they're lame at all. This time around though, I will be staying at home as long as I can (the baby's right arm will be sticking out waving to us.....) and then we will go to the hospital!

I was really hoping this post would be "short and sweet"
Thanks for reading.
If you have anything to say at all, please share your opinion.


  1. i used to work as a doula and am so happy to see this post. your genuine desire to have it be a holistic experience is so wonderful to see. i'm so glad you found a doctor that sincerely has an emotional connection to his work as opposed to seeing you as just one more patient in the day. this story is an example of how when you give things up to god, he always meet you exactly where you need to be. such a beautiful and inspiring post. thank you

  2. well i'm really happy to hear that you found a doctor that's totally on your side and wants what you want! and also, i'm excited that you're going to get pregnant again!

  3. I watched the Business of Being Born (by Ricki Lake) about a million times before I gave birth this past May. This movie really brings to life the business of birth in the U.S even though I live in Canada and our health care is very different from the U.S we still have the same underlying issues with doctors "pushing" interventions and C-sections. I had wonderful midwives attend my homebirth and it was such an empowering experience. My best friend had a successful VBAC (in the hospital) this past summer with her 2nd after an emergency C-Section with her 1st child. I'm glad you found a doctor that will provide the care you desire! All the best~

  4. First and foremost- HOLY CRAP! I didn't know you were planning on having a baby soon! I'm so excited now! Just look at all those exclamation points!!! <--- More exclamation points.

    Secondly, I think it's good that you have a doctor that knows of the importance of having a more natural birthing process. I had the same experience and next time around I'm going the more natural route. And don't be afraid to fight for it! I feel like doctors have gotten jaded and started treating the birth process like a factory line. Pump them full of pitocin, wait for fetal distress and then cut 'em up (because it's less of a "liability"). I could go on for days about how messed up it is.

    The point is I'm happy you're deciding to go for it!

  5. that's great to hear :)

  6. Yay! It's so awesome to find a doctor who agrees with you on the birth process and a Christian to boot!

    My sister-in-law did Bradley and it worked really well for her. We're doing Mongan Method (hypnobirthing.. it sounds super new-agey but oh well). You might want to check it out because you doesn't use pushing. Instead you work with your body's natural contractions to breath the baby down the birth canal, which would be safer than "purple pushing" for a vbac.

    Oh and I love that picture!!

  7. Amanda, i LOVE your excitement you're too cute.

    I watched the same movie also when I was 8 months pregnant and I have to say it was quite bias. I feel like it was way too harsh on doctors and made them come off as no-brain idiots when really, all of the law suit happy people really ruined it for the rest of us. Stuff does go wrong in births sometimes and when it does people point their fingers at dr's. The doc that we talked to said that it's a shame that these days they'd rather do C-Secs because they can plan it, it's more cost effective and it's totally controlled. With births, you have to wait and doctors dont like to wait. They like to ACT. (His words.) But he agreed that it's not right. I feel like birthing in a hospital will be best for us because what happens if my baby is born and stops breathing and needs to be resesitated right away, or has poo in it's lungs or .... I just needed to know that we weren't going to be on a time limit for birthing and that unnecessary medical intervention wasn't going to interrupt the process.... BUT that being said, I have doctor friends who have seen a lot of crazy things that lead me to believe a hospital will be best.

    BUT we are also looking into having a midwife's help. We still have to iron out a lot. We're excited though. The doctor that we saw has been my mother in law's doctor for 10 years and a few friends have had him deliver their baby's so i trust him.

  8. yay, i'm glad you've found one that supports you and your views. and i'm shocked that the nurses weren't cheering you on or helping to make things better then they could be...what the heck!?!

    also, i love that print. that would be pretty awesome to see that at a doctors office.

  9. I was induced at 35 weeks due to pre-eclampsia. During labor I was on meds for blood pressure that gave me a migraine, made me vommit twice, and made me feel like I had liquid heat running through my body. Not to mention the pit and the epidural which basically contradict each other. I was in labor for 15 hours before my son was born. I only got to hold him for 10 minutes before they took him to the NICU. Then I had to wait 24 hours before they would let me get out of bed and go see him again. He spent 12 days in the NICU before being diagnosed with Hydrocephalus and then was transferred to the nearby Children's hospital for another week. It was extremely hard on me. So when I got pregnant with my daughter I wanted to have a good delivery, and I wanted to have a less hands on approach so I chose to see a certified nursing midwife working under a local doctor. I was crushed when she told me they were going to make me have a c-section because my daughter was measuring too big. I cried for weeks. I tried to look into other options but because I was too far along in the pregnancy other doctors didn't want to let me transfer over as a patient. They scheduled my c-section a week before my due date. I was told that my daughter would be well over 10 or 11 lbs at the time of the c-section by the way she was measuring. My water broke 2 weeks before my scheduled c-section date and they still wouldn't let me try to go through labor and deliver vaginally. My daughter was only 9lbs 8oz when she was born. Big yes, but I really think I could have managed. After all, my mom had me vaginally and I was over 9lbs, my grandma had my mom and she was over 10lbs, and my grandma was delievered naturally and she was 12lbs! I couldn't take any meds through an IV after my c-section due to having bad reactions to them so the pain was crazy intense when they made me walk for the first time. I hated the whole experience and felt robbed. It was hard bonding for a couple of weeks though nobody knew that's how I felt. And it scares me now thinking about having another baby and not be allowed to have a VBAC. The midwife and doctor said they wouldn't allow me to have one so I would have to seek out another doctor if that's what I wanted for our next baby. If I were you I would look into home births or find a midwife who is actually pro VBAC and not just a midwife who says she's all for less intervention.

    As soon as my water broke with my daughter I thought about staying home and waiting it out so that by the time I got to the hospital they would have had to let me try to deliver vag. but I got nervous and went in. I regret that to this day. Really hope your next delievery is one that's better on your body. Here's hoping, right?

  10. Hey Jennifer. I totally get your story. Wow. That's so hard. It's hard when I try to talk to other woman who don't really "get" that desire to labor and deliver their baby.

    I was talking with my friend who worked in labor and delivery for 25 years today and hearing her heart on the topic really opened my eyes up a lot. she worked under a man who tried his best to listen to mother's birth plan wishes but at the end of the day, she said the docs have guide lines to follow and if they dont adhere to those guidelines, they could lose their licenses, lose their homes, get sued etc. So if at all something looks like it's going to go wrong, they act fast because they're as jaded as we are. She was telling me of this doctor who went ahead and did what the mom wanted to during birth but he disagreed with her, the outcome was bad and he got sued....

    But she did tell me that there are some amazing midwifes who practice under doctors who she could hook me up with who would see me all throughout my pregnancy and then be there for the delivery. Truly, whether I have another c-sec or not, I just want the chance to try and I want a midwife and doctor who are experienced and who i trust. That's all. If the doctor says things aren't going good and we need a c-sec, i want to be ok with that. I just felt so alone and didn't feel very supported by the nurses at the hospital. Next time will be different. Im more educated now and I'm doing things differently.

    we'd totally put a tub in our living room if we felt really confident about that decision but the tiny chance that our next baby needs medical help, the midwife wouldn't have the equipment to recesitate and every minute that we waited for an ambulance is a minute that my baby or my life would be on the line. I'd be kicking myself. In a perfect world things would be different.

    Thanks for sharing your story. I feel like it's good that they have other options for us, like c-sections when things arent going right, but i'm really sad that we end up feeling so robbed in the end and decisions are made for us.

  11. WOW! I love this. I had planned a birth center birth and was only there laboring for about two hours before we found out that my baby was a face first presentation and that the midwives couldn't legally deliver her. So we were transfered to the hospital. I was blessed enough to have a nurse on my side who stretch the time out between doctor visits and consequently was able to have a vaginal birth in the hospital even though our doc came in every two hours telling me he was going to get the OR prepped for me.

    Have you thought of having a doula? Someone who is your advocate and cheerleader and is outside of the situation enough to be level headed (more so than your hubs might be able to be in the intensity of birth).

    Were starting to think about a second baby and I am petrified of having another birth that goes route. I also feel such a huge pull to have a natural birth and all that God will teach me through it, especially through a second birth. Man, this is all just tough.

    I am so excited for you...and to follow along with this journey!!

  12. I am glad you wrote about this. It seems like most important things in life are commercialized, sped up, and the sacred is no longer left to savor.

    I also found this informative because I am engaged and some day I am going to want to know all of this from someone who seems to have a similar perspective as me.


  13. I think you're awesome. I think this post is awesome. And I know whatever God wills for your life will be awesome because God is awesome. The end. :)

  14. this is wonderful! i am really happy for you. having a hospital and doctor that is on your side and wants the same sort of birthing experience for you is SO VERY IMPORTANT in my opinion.
    people are always shocked to know that i drove an hour away, past a ton of other hospitals to the hospital i delivered corbin in. to be somewhere i felt comfortable. to be at a hospital that supported midwives. half of my birth plan was their standard practices. and it was worth every trip because i got the birth i wanted.
    so yeah. good for you. im so glad you have such a supportive partner too. so excited for you!

  15. chelsea! i totally thought i missed something! she's pregnaaaaaaant! YAY. oh, wait, what? haha, it was funny in my head. i too, had an emergency c-section at 32 wks, & have never really thought about doing it another way if/when we do this again. i love reading your thoughts! YAY you. that's so rad you found a doctor that has a good heart. they're harder to come by these days. God is GOOD!

  16. I too had to go through induction (at 41 weeks) and ended in a c-section. I was very disappointed. I felt like I failed at my job of being a mom right at the get go. We got rushed into the OR at 230am, totally unexpected. Now it all seems like a blur but sometimes I feel they jumped into the decision way too fast. I was barely in labor for 5 hours, they didn't even give her time to adjust to my uterus forcing her out. "oh, her heart rate went down, we're doing a c-section!" That's what it felt like for me. :(

    Recovery is the WORST! I had a MAJOR case of the baby blues, I cried all the time. Nursing was a struggle and I finally gave into formula because I was so worn out.

    I recently talked to my OB about having another child and about a VBAC. She pretty much said there is no more risk in a VBAC than a first time V-birth, it's the HOSPITALS that don't want to risk it. So as long as the hospital allows it, then I'm guessing a doc will do it.

    To end this long 'ol comment, the c-section was definitely necessary in my case. My little peanut's umbilical cord was extremely short and skinny. She weighed 6lbs 5ozs, 18in long at 41 weeks gestation. I am 5'9" and my husband is 6'3" so to have such a tiny baby at that period was off. My OB told me that if I would have tried to deliver vaginally that she wouldn't have made it out...I don't even want to think about how it could have ended.

    In some cases it is the right thing, but I agree with your words about the Doctors not wanting to wait :)

  17. i cannot even imagine going through what you went through with your labor! wow wow wow....

    i wish you could fly here for your next baby because the hospital i went to with both my girls was amazing...the doctors...the nurses...all of them. i have nothing but positive things to say about it!

    i just don't even get how they could be otherwise when you are dealing with a woman in labor! i guess maybe they do it so much that they just go through the motions after a time...that's so sad to me.

    i am sooooo ecstatic for you guys that you found someone you can trust who is on the same page! that is going to make a world of difference when the time comes :)

    i'll be praying for you to be sharing news of a baby in the very near future!


  18. The book that Dustin is reading comes highly recommended from the Snow's here :) (not like that means a whole lot). But the Bradley method was what I studied heavily and pulled from during our labor. There is also a diet that he recommends called the Brewer Diet for pregnancy that I used with Eliza (helped me birth a BIG healthy baby) and am excited to be doing this time around also, knowing how much it really helped with our labor and delivery! Cant wait for the day when you give us all the big news! :)

  19. Chelsea, Where did you find this dr?! I gave birth on Nellis with a mid-wife & Dr with me my whole labor & I couldn't have asked for a better labor, even with me having a c-sec! But... now we can't deliver on Nellis since hubs is out of the USMC. I've been to a couple Ob/Gyn's since and they make me never want to have a baby again!!!

    Where did you find your dr and if you don't mind me asking, who is he? if you don't want to answer on here can you e-mail me? ((