Don't Mess With Texas

Dustin & I are going in 2 weeks for his 3rd interview.

Playing the waiting game has been the WORST part of it all. We're both kind of exhausted wrestling with the "What If's" and "When's" and the financial crap. I hate the maybe. I hate not knowing. Dustin hasn't signed up for fall classes because he's waiting to know if we're staying or going. I'm happy to know that IF we did move to TEXAS, I'd still be flying home a few times (Sept, Oct, & Nov) to work. Imagining all of the flying and trying to pack and unpack and then the holidays come! EEEKK!

 I'm just not going to get ahead of myself because we still have NO IDEA what the future holds. We're taking rest in the Lord and not getting anxious about the things that are unseen, but putting our hope in Jesus and his flawless plan for our lives. 1 Timothy 4:10 For to this end we toil and strive, we have our hope set on the living God, who is the Savior of all people, especially of those who believe. I've been meditating on this verse this week. I'll keep you posted. This should be interesting.

We're still talking about when to give Conrad a sibling... I was telling my Mom that we've just got SO many bills, and SO many thousands of dollars in student loans, and SO many hospital bills (I cried on the phone this week to Jerrod, the guy whose been haggling me to pay my hospital bills for months... "But Jerrod, I HAD insurance and I WAS covered, and it's not MY fault that the insurance company went under and won't pay the tab!"... It's a long story, I'll go off if I don't stop! Anyway. Jerrod is helping me figure out what to do now with these Dr's bills. He was a very patient guy on the phone especially since my baby was screaming and punching me in the tits while I was speaking to him. Conrad gets very jealous when I'm on the phone.) So yeah, adding one more person to the crew seems crazy, but my Mom was very optimistic about it all. She was like, "What are you going to do, wait until everything is paid off? You'll never have another baby!" She's right.

 You just make it work and you trust God and don't put your trust in money. Money comes and goes. Money shouldn't decide my attitude. I shouldn't give my circumstances that much credit. I HATE how money has the power to make people feel "secure", and how desperate and hopeless you can feel when you don't have it.

A few GOOD things happened this week: I rear ended a very sweet girl getting onto the freeway & she was VERY forgiving about it. She told me she was on her way to the bridal convention, I gave her my info and I might have a potential client out of the whole sha-bang! {pun intended}. 

It ended with a hug, so I think we're good.

I suffered for 2 1/2 days with a broke ass eye ball (I get eye abrasions really easily that have caused me to go to the emergency room & have caused me to wear some funky-funky eye patches on THREE different occasions. The last occasion, when Conrad tore a chunk of cornea out of my eye resulted in me trying to "walk it off" while shaking from the pain being completely intolerable, and calling my mother in law at 3am to take my sorry injured ass to the ER. Yep, my boy sure knows how to scratch fools eyes out.) I have been told eye injuries are comparable to child birth. I believe it!) Anyway. The eye heals easy and since this time, it didn't heal very easy, I made a phone call to my friend Kacie, whose dad's name is Conrad, and he hooked me up. He saw me the very same day and I gave him payment in beer and hugs!  Seeing a doctor for free is SUCH a blessing. I really appreciated his free expertise.

I'm I the ONLY Mom who flips out on other drivers with my kid in the car? I feel like I am, God forgive me! Yesterday, while pulling out of a parking spot, two different cars were inching their way around me making it impossible to maneuver my way out. Why can't people just wait? Can't we all just be patient and wait for others to pull out before we get right in their business to get a parking spot? So I stopped honked at both of them, made eye contact and made sure they knew they were being rude. I'm sure that even though two windshields were separating us, they got the point! They could read my lips. I was not justified in cursing and yelling at them, especially when they can see my very-impressionable baby in the back seat, but I did anyway like a damn heathen. What is wrong with me! That makes me feel even worse. So my point is, just wait! Showing courtesy can make all of the difference in a persons day. (I guess showing tolerance can also make all of the difference too. Damn it, I suck!) 

{If you haven't fallen asleep or if you've stayed to read this
whole jumble of randomness, I'm impressed.}