Thursday, August 26

Don't Mess With Texas

Dustin & I are going in 2 weeks for his 3rd interview.
Playing the waiting game has been the WORST part of it all. We're both kind of exhausted wrestling with the "What If's" and "When's" and the financial crap. I hate the maybe. I hate not knowing. Dustin hasn't signed up for fall classes because he's waiting to know if we're staying or going. I'm happy to know that IF we did move to TEXAS, I'd still be flying home a few times (Sept, Oct, & Nov) to work. Imagining all of the flying and trying to pack and unpack and then the holidays come! EEEKK!

 I'm just not going to get ahead of myself because we still have NO IDEA what the future holds. We're taking rest in the Lord and not getting anxious about the things that are unseen, but putting our hope in Jesus and his flawless plan for our lives. 1 Timothy 4:10 For to this end we toil and strive, we have our hope set on the living God, who is the Savior of all people, especially of those who believe. I've been meditating on this verse this week. I'll keep you posted. This should be interesting.

We're still talking about when to give Conrad a sibling... I was telling my Mom that we've just got SO many bills, and SO many thousands of dollars in student loans, and SO many hospital bills (I cried on the phone this week to Jerrod, the guy whose been haggling me to pay my hospital bills for months... "But Jerrod, I HAD insurance and I WAS covered, and it's not MY fault that the insurance company went under and won't pay the tab!"... It's a long story, I'll go off if I don't stop! Anyway. Jerrod is helping me figure out what to do now with these Dr's bills. He was a very patient guy on the phone especially since my baby was screaming and punching me in the tits while I was speaking to him. Conrad gets very jealous when I'm on the phone.) So yeah, adding one more person to the crew seems crazy, but my Mom was very optimistic about it all. She was like, "What are you going to do, wait until everything is paid off? You'll never have another baby!" She's right.
 You just make it work and you trust God and don't put your trust in money. Money comes and goes. Money shouldn't decide my attitude. I shouldn't give my circumstances that much credit. I HATE how money has the power to make people feel "secure", and how desperate and hopeless you can feel when you don't have it.

A few GOOD things happened this week: I rear ended a very sweet girl getting onto the freeway & she was VERY forgiving about it. She told me she was on her way to the bridal convention, I gave her my info and I might have a potential client out of the whole sha-bang! {pun intended}. 
It ended with a hug, so I think we're good.

I suffered for 2 1/2 days with a broke ass eye ball (I get eye abrasions really easily that have caused me to go to the emergency room & have caused me to wear some funky-funky eye patches on THREE different occasions. The last occasion, when Conrad tore a chunk of cornea out of my eye resulted in me trying to "walk it off" while shaking from the pain being completely intolerable, and calling my mother in law at 3am to take my sorry injured ass to the ER. Yep, my boy sure knows how to scratch fools eyes out.) I have been told eye injuries are comparable to child birth. I believe it!) Anyway. The eye heals easy and since this time, it didn't heal very easy, I made a phone call to my friend Kacie, whose dad's name is Conrad, and he hooked me up. He saw me the very same day and I gave him payment in beer and hugs!  Seeing a doctor for free is SUCH a blessing. I really appreciated his free expertise.

I'm I the ONLY Mom who flips out on other drivers with my kid in the car? I feel like I am, God forgive me! Yesterday, while pulling out of a parking spot, two different cars were inching their way around me making it impossible to maneuver my way out. Why can't people just wait? Can't we all just be patient and wait for others to pull out before we get right in their business to get a parking spot? So I stopped honked at both of them, made eye contact and made sure they knew they were being rude. I'm sure that even though two windshields were separating us, they got the point! They could read my lips. I was not justified in cursing and yelling at them, especially when they can see my very-impressionable baby in the back seat, but I did anyway like a damn heathen. What is wrong with me! That makes me feel even worse. So my point is, just wait! Showing courtesy can make all of the difference in a persons day. (I guess showing tolerance can also make all of the difference too. Damn it, I suck!) 

{If you haven't fallen asleep or if you've stayed to read this
whole jumble of randomness, I'm impressed.}


  1. I read all the time, but never comment - such a jerk lurker, I know.

    Love your photos of Conrad. He is such a little stud!

    Where in Texas are you possibly moving? I moved from California to Houston 12 years ago and my heart still aches for my home state, but I love it here. Hope all works out for the best!

  2. It sounds like adding a little sister or brother to the family for Conrad will just be one more thing to be joyful/grateful for in all the daily annoyances and stresses of life...=)

  3. Hey Cheryl! If we took the position, it would be in Austin. We're excited to see what happens. I think we're ok staying and ok going which is a good place to be.

    and Michelle, I can't wait for conrad to be a big brother. This is such a fun time in our lives. We don't want our kiddos to be TOO far apart in age... ;) I'm sort of dreading the morning (or all day!) sickness though. That was the WORST part of pregnancy for me. I threw up everyday, multiple times a day for the first 6 months. Hopefully next time, that wont be the case!

  4. I live in Texas!! Praying for u!!

  5. Any car collision that ends in a hug is a good thing:)

    And don't worry, I've cried to many a bill collector!

  6. I definitely understand how waiting on employment/etc decisions like this is the worst. Hang in there -- at least you have a fabulous support system in your family!

  7. i read the whole jumble of randomness, and loved every word. <3

  8. I just have to say.. we have had like 5 different friends move to Texas this year and we're fairly certain we'll be heading out there sometime in Feb for Ben to go to school.. it's just soooo funny that everyone is moving to Texas! We should start a club...

  9. Terribly humbled mom confession # 319: yesterday we were driving in the car and my almost 5 year old says to me "mom, douchebag is a bad word" I was like "what did you just say?" he repeated it. I asked where he had heard that word and he said " You said it when that car cut in front of you." try explaining your way out of that one..... just thought i would brighten your day with something lovely to look forward to =)
    ps... I swear I am a good mom! I feed, clothe, and bathe him...and i'm working on the bad word thing....

  10. It's true what your mom said about waiting till you have everything paid off to have a baby, it would never happen if you did that. Trust in God and let it happen when he wants it to happen, that's the best thing you could do. I remember rear ending someone and they said there was no scratch on their car so they weren't going to worry about it, I felt so thankful. I have a little road rage towards inconsiderate drivers too, and have definitely yelled at a few while my son has been in the car. I must remember to stop doing that now that he's getting bigger and tries to repeat things I/husband say. What is it with kids and their uncanny ability to blind their parents with well aimed jabs to the eye? Even when they're sleeping their "spidy sense" is still quite active. And bills bills bills, hate those things. We don't have health insurance for ourselves so going to the doctor is almost always not an option. Student loans suck too. You're awesome Chelsea and I'm so glad to read your blog. God will take care of you guys no matter what. Hoping that you get the outcome you desire and are able to not worry about it so much.

  11. Ashley, I LOVE YOU. You crack me up. I love it. Aiden is like your little buddy and it's so adorable. Glad to know I'm not the only one out there who acts crazy around my kid. I'd like to not do that as often... I'm going to work on it and let you know. I should learn to just smile and wave when people piss me off! Ha! Thanks for the comment!

    Jennifer, what a sweetie you are. It seems like money can become an ocean of stress when we've got so many bills and so little of it. You can feel like you're being consumed in it! But thank you for your encouragement. I appreciate it. You have NO idea how crazy my son is with his Wolverine hands. When we didn't have insurance, he got me good in the eye and a simple trip to the ER cost us upwards of 600.00 just for numbing eye drops and for the Dr. to say "Yep, your cornea is scratched! Give it a day and it will heal on it's own, and while you're waiting for it to heal, here are some pain meds because you totally need them!" I HATE that! I wish they sold numbing drops over the counter.

    Dustin is funny about it. He always teases me about getting so many eye injuries. He's like, " all you have to do is SHUT YOUR EYES when you see his nails coming towards them!"

  12. Austin ROCKS. Hands down, coolest city in Texas. With your sense of style, you'll fit right in! Also, great city for running. Fingers crossed for y'all!

  13. I agree with the "waiting for the right time to have a baby" dilemma. My MIL always told me if you wait until you can "afford" a child you'll never have one. My husband and I are so-called-planning our next baby here shortly. Our daughter is almost 21 months and we've waited because OUR goal before having another was to buy a house. Now that we are closing on our first home in less than a month we feel prepared for another baby.

    I am a HORRIBLE mom when it comes to watching my language and my driving etiquette around my daughter. I have horrible road rage. I swear my daughter said "douche" the other day while my husband was driving. I feel the need to comment on everything even if I'm not driving and I called someone a douche and she some-what repeated it. (yikes!)

    P.S. I am one of those drivers who ALWAYS stops to let someone out of their parking spot and it seems no one else ever does that for me! People are incredibly RUDE! I could go on for days about what other driver do to piss me off! ;)

  14. You are certainly not the only mother who curses and rants at bad drivers. In fact, I'm sure you'd feel much better with yourself if you were in my passenger seat. :-/

  15. AH! tim & i are in such a similar place. the WAITING. it's exhausting. & time & time again, we try & give it back to God, but it creeps back again. you just wanna know, ya know? we wouldn't hafta move, but it still would involve a big change. anyhoo, i'll pray for your family! & another baby to pop up in your belly ;) YAY! exciting stuff. xo

  16. You are SUCH a great writer! I am sorry for your hardships but thankful you're so gifted at expressing yourself. Thank you for being honest, too.