Wednesday, March 24

Waiting in great expectation:

there you go.... again pursuing me
forgiving me
thinking I'm beautiful, convincing me of it to the point of annoyance!
wanting me....
accepting me
laying your eyes on me-like a lion to it's prey
exciting me
teaching me
pressing back into me
intriguing me
telling me NO! when my yeses are No's and I don't know better


You speak truth to my soul...
You are constantly excavating the lies that form in my heart....
pouring confidence into all of the open sores and gashing wounds...
holding my shaking body still as it falls apart
You are constantly calming my soul (praise you Jesus)
You are quick to justify
You give me calling and purpose
you take the numb away and make me FEEL
you bring the helpless hope
you give crying eyes a tomorrow
you feed the sparrows' hungry belly-AND you WILL feed mine


Heaven is where I'll see Your face
I'll have a new body
and death will never come to my mind

tears will no longer be a reality

a hurting heart will not exist

I WILL see my loved ones who tasted death too early

In heaven, those who love you will exist together in one place

Heaven will be like a bride preparing for her groom

"God will live with them, they will be his people and god himself will be with them and be their god, He will wipe every tear from their eyes. there will be no more death, or mourning , or crying or pain, for the old order oAlign Centerf things has passed away. He who sits on the Throne says "I am making everything new!" {Revelations 21}

Your love tells me to
shout LOVE others
Your love tells me to:
"shut up!"

my two cents is not really that important

Your love makes me turn my shoulders back into your chest, like a child when I do wrong, and because of your blood, I can come back again and again.

You show me what love feels like, and what security tastes like.
You turn sickness into healing so I can pray and heal
You are the master healer
you took your own spit and made BLIND EYES SEE! (YES JESUS, YES, i PRAY it happens)
I yearn for you to make blind eyes see. Not just a physical sight, but a spiritual sight too-
Because really,
(the "physical" eventually fades in ALL of us.)
I SHOUT at the mountains, drunk on a dream-deliriously aware of the way You move-

I've shouted at you
begged you
fallen weeping at your feet
pleading for you to act
in response to my words.....

and. you. NEVER. disappoint.

I'm shuttering in fear of You, I'm barely breathing
knowing you are dead serious when you say you
will do what you say you will do.

I can't comprehend you, I can't figure you out, I can't explain you or wrap my mind around you.

But you are good and I want every piece of you
I will hunt you down

Last night, I broke bread and drank wine with my husband remembering the blood you shed so I could live, and I was more inspired than I've ever been. That wine was bitter as my toungue absorbed it, the bread was dry. Tears seeped from my closed eyes and nothing else mattered at that moment. I imagined you on the cross with sweat seeping from every pore as you suffered.

You looked down at me and sweetly mouthed these words: "i. love. you" AND at that moment, a dagger pierced my heart. I fell more in love than I've ever been. My bones ached knowing that all of myself was instantly absorbed in the pain that you felt. As each breath was inhaled and exhaled until you died, as each drop of crimson seeped into the soil beneath you. You were not drained out in vain, that blood bought me. I am humbly in awe. All of me was absorbed on that cross when you took your last breath. I'll never really "get" it.

I eagerly anticipate what you're up to. I wait for you with great expectation on the edge of my seat-and I am addicted to the high I get when I watch miracles unfold





  1. now, we wait with you

    this was beautiful

  2. i have tears in my eyes reading this.
    absolutely beautiful.

  3. beautiful. i love the rawness and humility with which this purity of heart was written. the Spirit jumped inside my bones as i read this; He's excited. oh i love you, sister.


  4. Oh Cara, I just got teary eyed reading your comment. Thanks friend.

    I knew it was "good" when my husband read it and cursed afterwards and loved it! If it's good enough that you have to curse, that says a lot.

    maybe we're just a bunch of no good-cursin' sailors who need to stick some soap in our mouths! Who knows!

    Thanks Girl. You're a blessing.

  5. WOAH! Chelsea this is incredible. You should do this MORE...for real.

  6. I used to journal and sketch and write poetry and got away from it but for valentines day, Dustin got me a new sketch book with some new charcoal pencils so i've been writing a lot and it's such a great outlet.

    Thanks Aaron.

  7. I wanted to remind you of this post.
    I came upon it by searching my name in google, and realized I had mentioned you in the post that came up.
    This is what it brought me to. Don't forget any of this. I love you, Chels.