I was going to post the photo of me the day before I delivered so you could see the fattest I've ever been. It's me, on the couch, using my belly as a table, eating pineapple, cellulite dimples all down my leg- you would have been really turned on, so Dustin vetoed the posting of the picture.
Happy and plump at 37 weeks....
A far cry from a few years back when
I worked out everyday and ate healthy!
I've never been the type to "diet" except for when I was getting ready for my wedding...and I was really pleased with the hard work I put in to get there. I think diets are stupid. You eat great for a while, lose the weight and then go back to your garbage eating ways....but I never have had care what I put in my body. I could eat whatever I wanted and It wouldn't make a difference. Here's a great example of me doing that very thing:
I've never had to fight my way back to a "previous" weight, and I've never had to resist food. But with the last 15lbs. to get rid of, I realize now that I can't continue in this unhealthy mindset of eating if I don't drastically change the way in which I relate to food and my body. And I SWEAR these last few L.B.'s are sticking to my thighs like it's their friggin' life's mission.
It's actually quite irritating!
The last few weeks I've been on a diet. "Diet" is such a stupid word....really, I've just been saying "NO" to foods I would have otherwise said "YES" to. I'm saying no to wine, condiments, brownies, coffee creamer, UN-healthy snacking, Mexican food, things covered in grease, things oozing with chocolate, OK i need to stop right now. Describing these things is only making me want them more! It's really a change in life style. I can't just eat right for a season. I have to make good choices with what I eat, to instill healthy eating habits for my son.
He won't want to eat green beans if he never sees me eat them.
My whole vision is just being more conscious of what I'm putting into my body. Instead of a breakfast burrito, I'm having egg whites with a protein shake. Instead of an extra helping of pasta, I'm having an extra helping of broccoli. Instead of munching on chips, I'm munching on raw bell peppers (they're so watery and crunchy!) This hasn't been as easy for me as I thought it would. I don't like the idea of withholding yummy things from myself. Food is such a huge pleasure for me. But I realized that I have been eating the wrong way. I was eating portions that were too large, and I was mindlessly snacking all day long. There was really no rhyme or reason to my eating habits. If i wanted it, I had it.
I'm finding now that what I put into my body is what I will get out of it.
I was talking to another mom once about after baby weight loss, and telling her how I wanted to get back to where I was before baby, and feel cute in my old clothes. She told me that it should be OK if i never wear my old jeans again because "I'm a mom now". I disagree. I was once super fit and healthy. I don't see why us mom's have to settle for after baby bodies. I know a mom who has 2 kids and her body is hotter than before she had her babies! It can be done!
Dustin's hair isn't as fluffy as it used to be...
as for my abs these days, they're pretty fluffy.
Yesterday I had a Dr's appointment with the doc who delivered Conrad. She told me that at my first Dr's appointment when I was 12 weeks pregnant, I was 124 lbs...and that's about where I am now. It's really not about a certain weight as much as it is about feeling more confident in my skin. Feeling strong, being healthy for my son and husband, having more endurance, making goals for myself and seeing them through. That's the whole idea with my New Years resolution.
Running with the girls and getting a lot of good advice from them has really helped with my training. I have been really encouraged by their drive and focus. I'm having to discipline myself to eat right and sleep-which has been the hardest part for me-going to bed at a decent hour! With only being half way finished with my last twilight book and all.... (I know someones going to rebuke me for that) It's hard to put it down and go to sleep so I can be rested for my runs.
It's a process. Getting healthy and in shape. It takes time. I'll get there.