a road map of love

When I talk to my pregnant friends, or other mommies, they tend to ask questions like: 

"Did you get stretch marks??" 

to which, I say,

 "Yeah, I got a few~" (More like..."Holy crap, I look crazy- they're horrible looking- I hate them, and I'll probably never wear a two piece again! let me go hide in a cave and smash my face in with a rock!") 

and then my pregnant friend says:

"I got lucky, I don't have any at all...thank God!"

 To which, I feel even more ugly and ashamed about my stupid road map of stretch marks! 

US WOMAN ARE SO STUPID Y'ALL. 

Why do I trouble my pretty little heart with all of these idiotic worldly thoughts¿? 

Why do I break down in my closet with my Mom as I rip my clothes off of the hangers convinced I'll never slip them over my size 6 hips, and my blubbery tummy? 

I've said it before, and I'll stay it again....society is harsh on a pregnant woman's body- On ANY woman's body. We are so hard on ourselves. We are so unrealistic. 

I was 4 months pregnant at a very adorably (expensive) baby boutique with my husband when I was asked by the sales lady if i were having twins! 

$#@!$%%^ "I did have twins, expensive boutique lady, but one twin was just as hungry as his Mama, and ate the other twin, so now I only have 1 baby!" This is when I put down the $40 onsie I was carrying around, having no intentions on buying, and removed myself before climbing over the sales counter and ringing her adorable little neck! 

I've had customers at work, people at church, strangers, and whoever else who felt it necessary to comment on my weight give me their two cents....and it hurts. It's painful to be judged when I have literally no control of being very short and putting on more weight then I should have- So sue me! I guess I was asking for it gaining 43 lbs! 

MY intention of writing this post is not to rant (although it sure felt good) My intention is to tell the world to give it a rest. Don't give a pregnant woman your judgemental two cents when you see her waddling around uncomfortably imprisoned to her body, she probably feels like shit, and has stretch marks that make her cry when she gets out of the shower, she probably has acne, and cellulite, and corns on her toes from swollen feet hands and her face is probably fat, she probably has to wear moo-moo-esk type of clothing because nothing in her closet fits! 

So when you see a pregnant woman, TELL HER SHES RAVISHING, BEAUTIFUL, GLOWING, TELL HER HER OUTFIT IS GORGEOUS AND THAT HER HAIR IS SHINY AND SHE'S NEVER LOOKED MORE AMAZING. 

Lie through your teeth if you have to! Please lie actually! It will mean the world to her.

I was at Duncan Doughnuts in my 8Th month and a woman with a 2 year old daughter with blond curls was eating her doughnut with chocolate all over her face, and I told the lady how cute her daughter was, and THEN told her I was expecting. She looked shocked and said she had never seen a more beautiful pregnant woman....I felt like a million bucks when she said that. It made my day- my month. 

The truth is that it's only been 4 weeks since Conrad has been born. In the first 2 weeks post-pardum, I lost 22 lbs. Does that sound crazy to you?? I think so. But still, It's upsetting that I'll never look like I did before the baby. And I told Dustin last night "This isn't the body you married, you didn't sign up for this!" and he said "I didn't marry your body, I married you! I honestly could give two shits because you have pressure enough....give yourself time!" If he had it his way, I'd keep this extra 15 lbs. of sexy-curviness on because he thinks it's hot.... 

Can I get an amen! Can I get a witness y'all! 

So the moral of the story is....I wouldn't trade my stretch marks for anything if it means I get to have a rock star of a son. Tell pregnant woman that they're stunning, and pregnant or not, Love your body! 

He has forever left a tattoo on my body (as Vicki would say), his scars to say "I'm here", he has left his mark! And I'm going to embrace it! 

visit www.theshapeofamother.com   to read other woman's stories of how they deal with the changes of a mothers body!