Monday, January 5

Mr. Bojangles

My Dog-rant: If you're not in the mood to listen to my dog rant, please don't waste the next five minutes of your life.

Every time I see a well behaved dog, I instantly fall in love and want one. I know we can't have one. It would be torture to have a dog in a small condo, even though we walk regularly and make lots of use out of the trails by our home. I know our area would be great to have a dog! I'd like to give our dog the best life possible, and he needs more room. (Plus, we'd like our first dog to be our sons first dog too so he can name it himself.)
My dream dog: Airedale Terrier
Dustin's dream dog: Australian sheaphard My family and friends think I hate dogs. Well the truth is, I don't hate dogs it's just that I use to be a germ freak. for example, my brother decided to take a nap on my bed one Thanksgiving when I lived at home still and I flipped out, started panicking knowing that I'd be washing my bedsheets all night! Another example: I tried to spend the night at Dustin's house one night when we were dating, and couldn't because I thought his sheets had creepy crawlies on them and had him drive me home right away! I used to be super O.C.D about washing my hands constantly or never re-using towels, or never eating off of other peoples utensils or drinks, and I'm over that now-sort of. I didn't feel like i had control of my life, so i had to control something, and that something was my bubble of cleanliness!

I don't like sticky-slimy dog slobber, or pet dander, or pet hair, this is true. I don't like smelly dog ass or smelly dog breath, dogs that jump on you, or knock drinks off of tables, or dogs that beg while you eat, or breathe their warm breath on your leg at the dinner table while you eat, this is true. But I do LOVE dogs believe it or not. I love dogs that you can let free from a leash on walks and won't run away, I love dogs that are calm and don't get in your face, I love dogs that can do tricks like playing dead or retrieving toys. I think that dogs need to be walked once a day and need to have their teeth brushed once a week and need frequent baths. Dogs need a lot of training and consistency to form good manners and good behavior. (Kind of like babies)

I've had a few pets as a child. I had Graystone, a cat who swallowed a rubber band and had to be put to sleep & Big Red, a red lab who was out of control. Then we had our beagle, B.B. who ate her own turds & the cat's turds, she always stunk, wasn't well behaved either, and ate the cats food. I had Two guinea pigs Brody and Chile (that I loved very much) who both had tragic deaths (sniffle) but before they died, I tried to give them to a better home because my poor boyfriend Dustin had been housing them for a year already, and it was time to let them go. Their squealing for food or attention was too much for anyone but me to handle! So we took them to a guy who was going to adopt them, and the next day, my loving boyfriend Dustin, knocked on the nice gentleman's door asking for the guinea pigs back as i sat in the car crying....(See, I'm not as cold hearted as you may think.) They both got a virus that made them shed all of their hair and lost alot of weight, they always had terrified looks on their faces and were always was very sad. They eventually died.

So you see, I haven't had much luck with animals. But I do really love my friend Angie's dog Bo. He's a 5 year old black lab. He was abused when she got him and went through rigorous obedience training at some kind of police dog school. When he knows it's time to eat, he walks outside, waits for his food and comes in once you've walked away from his bowl. He catches tennis balls mid-air, loves to swim, could cuddle for hours, loves to go on walks, loves to come to my condo, loves to jog....he's like the worlds best behaved-perfect dog.

I know that dogs take lot of work, and I'm freaked out by the idea of my baby crawling around on the same ground that my dog has just dragged his stinky butt on, or my baby inhaling massive amounts of nasty dog dander and dirt, or sticking clumps of dog fur in his mouth!! Or my dog licking his sack and licking my mouth!! I'm a freak, I shouldn't get a dog now that i think of it....I'll never do anything but clean. I'll go crazy! I'm having anxiety just imagining it. Now that I think of it, just ignore this whole post...I'm not ready for a dog. Dogs are dirty and the sound of a dog chewing on bones makes my skin crawl. I take back all the things i said about wanting a dog.



    ahhh. i love conrad.

  2. you are too funny!

    I sit in the Saturday night service at 6. This sunday I'm going to check out another church for work but well be back for the 1:00 service, I would love for you guys to come!