I saw my midwife this week (No, womb watchers! Not for THAT....) I'm not pregnant (EVEN THOUGH my brother asked me If I was pregnant this week when we went out to lunch together. NO, I'm not pregnant! I'll give it to him, he is 75% blind. But STILL! Who says that?! That's when I start to think maybe it's a good time to eat better and take care of myself...... So that's where I am. I wasn't even mad at him for asking, I was glad he was being honest. My only thought was, well if he thinks I look pregnant-everyone must think I look pregnant.
No woman wants to be told she looks pregnant when she's NOT pregnant..."But exercise kills my milk supply!!" Is what I say to myself (but seriously, it does.) I don't run like I used to, other than chasing my kids around the park. I've been making that excuse. LOTS of excused. I can't shed the extra weight because I'm nursing....
So my good friend Kasey & I are keeping each other accountable by keeping food journals (which was another request my midwife had of me-food journaling to be conscious of what I'm putting into my body.) I like food journaling. I did it for most of my pregnancy with Elle.
Anyway.... since Elle was about 3 months old, mother nature decided to bring me my monthly present.
*(So whoever told you that you don't receive that gift when you nurse is a darn liar!)
Ahem. Back to what I was saying...
So each month right around when that pleasant-present arrives, I get awful headaches, nausea worse than when I was pregnant, depression, anxiety, I don't really want to do anything, can't really be productive or care for my house and babies like I'd like to and the cramps are god awful.
It's hell. HELL I tell you!
After suffering with this hell for a few months I decided to get advice from a friend who is extremely knowledgeable in herbal medicine and all things natural etc. We decided that since docs in the past have offered up depression medicine or birth control when I tell them my womanly problems, maybe it is better to try to figure out the source of the problems instead of putting a bandaid on it. Which is why I asked my friend who knows a lot about nutrition and homeopathic medicine.
I knew that when I was carrying Conrad I was anemic and the symptoms associated with my cycle seemed to point me to the conclusion that I was low in iron. So I started taking Floredex twice a day (but boy is that ever expensive....) and saw huge changes within about a month of consistently taking it. Also upped my B vitamins and fish oils. The head aches were gone but the nausea still lingered and over all crappiness associated with being a woman! Ugh. When I was pregnant with Elle, I ate spinach just about every single day, twice a day because I knew that in my previous pregnancy i was anemic and was trying to prevent anemia.
Long story short. I saw my midwife this week and she is helping me to get my heath on track. We talked about my well being physically, emotionally and mentally. She did my yearly exams and took blood. I'm not eating right, not exercising much and am not getting a ton of sleep (mostly because Elle is teething and up all hours of the night and I am in my busy season and working all hours of the night.....) So there's that.
One thing that she said that really stuck in my head was, "Well sometimes we don't get to eventually fill our cups. If you wait until everything slows down you'll be waiting forever because sometimes it doesn't slow down. We need to slow down. We need to be consistently finding time to refresh ourselves and love ourselves."
So true & so convicting. No one else can be served if I'm not first serving myself, as selfish as that sounds. Mom's forget to fill themselves up with good so that they can have good to share with others.
I feel like recently God's been finding things to slow me down, so to speak.
Like losing my keys in Micheal's for an hour today, crying kids missing their naps so I could find said lost keys, having my mother in law come to save me and drive me home because I don't have a spare key, the lady at Micheal's telling me TWICE that she hasn't seen them- once I tell her I wanted to personally look in her check stand I eventually find them, burst into tears along with Elle and in the most pathetic looking scene you've ever seen.... Thankfully, I have a mother in law who bails me out often and loves me like her own (EVENthough she plants bags of Doritos in my cupboard & brings me muffins from Marie Callender's when I'm on a clean eating diet.)
So this afternoon instead of working while the kids napped, I ate a big bowl of chili and a dark chocolate bar, bundled up in my bed and re-watched Thursday's episode of Vampire Diaries. Then I had a little quiet time this morning before the kids woke up and felt super refreshed. It felt good to fill my cup a little.
No woman wants to be told she looks pregnant when she's NOT pregnant..."But exercise kills my milk supply!!" Is what I say to myself (but seriously, it does.) I don't run like I used to, other than chasing my kids around the park. I've been making that excuse. LOTS of excused. I can't shed the extra weight because I'm nursing....
So my good friend Kasey & I are keeping each other accountable by keeping food journals (which was another request my midwife had of me-food journaling to be conscious of what I'm putting into my body.) I like food journaling. I did it for most of my pregnancy with Elle.
Anyway.... since Elle was about 3 months old, mother nature decided to bring me my monthly present.
*(So whoever told you that you don't receive that gift when you nurse is a darn liar!)
Ahem. Back to what I was saying...
So each month right around when that pleasant-present arrives, I get awful headaches, nausea worse than when I was pregnant, depression, anxiety, I don't really want to do anything, can't really be productive or care for my house and babies like I'd like to and the cramps are god awful.
It's hell. HELL I tell you!
After suffering with this hell for a few months I decided to get advice from a friend who is extremely knowledgeable in herbal medicine and all things natural etc. We decided that since docs in the past have offered up depression medicine or birth control when I tell them my womanly problems, maybe it is better to try to figure out the source of the problems instead of putting a bandaid on it. Which is why I asked my friend who knows a lot about nutrition and homeopathic medicine.
I knew that when I was carrying Conrad I was anemic and the symptoms associated with my cycle seemed to point me to the conclusion that I was low in iron. So I started taking Floredex twice a day (but boy is that ever expensive....) and saw huge changes within about a month of consistently taking it. Also upped my B vitamins and fish oils. The head aches were gone but the nausea still lingered and over all crappiness associated with being a woman! Ugh. When I was pregnant with Elle, I ate spinach just about every single day, twice a day because I knew that in my previous pregnancy i was anemic and was trying to prevent anemia.
Long story short. I saw my midwife this week and she is helping me to get my heath on track. We talked about my well being physically, emotionally and mentally. She did my yearly exams and took blood. I'm not eating right, not exercising much and am not getting a ton of sleep (mostly because Elle is teething and up all hours of the night and I am in my busy season and working all hours of the night.....) So there's that.
One thing that she said that really stuck in my head was, "Well sometimes we don't get to eventually fill our cups. If you wait until everything slows down you'll be waiting forever because sometimes it doesn't slow down. We need to slow down. We need to be consistently finding time to refresh ourselves and love ourselves."
So true & so convicting. No one else can be served if I'm not first serving myself, as selfish as that sounds. Mom's forget to fill themselves up with good so that they can have good to share with others.
I feel like recently God's been finding things to slow me down, so to speak.
Like losing my keys in Micheal's for an hour today, crying kids missing their naps so I could find said lost keys, having my mother in law come to save me and drive me home because I don't have a spare key, the lady at Micheal's telling me TWICE that she hasn't seen them- once I tell her I wanted to personally look in her check stand I eventually find them, burst into tears along with Elle and in the most pathetic looking scene you've ever seen.... Thankfully, I have a mother in law who bails me out often and loves me like her own (EVENthough she plants bags of Doritos in my cupboard & brings me muffins from Marie Callender's when I'm on a clean eating diet.)
So this afternoon instead of working while the kids napped, I ate a big bowl of chili and a dark chocolate bar, bundled up in my bed and re-watched Thursday's episode of Vampire Diaries. Then I had a little quiet time this morning before the kids woke up and felt super refreshed. It felt good to fill my cup a little.
I need to slow down. I need to take time to fill up my cup everyday.
It's a discipline that I'm being kind of forced to figure out.
*Photo above was taken by my friend Sarah a few weeks ago. More to coming soon!
thank you so much for this post. i've been going through the EXACT same thing recently, and have been pretty upset about it. what you wrote and what your midwife said really struck a chord with me. i am going to pray about all of it and see what God directs me to do and what changes to make to help me gain more balance in my life, hormonally, emotionally, and physically. thank you for sharing!! :) lora
ReplyDeleteAmen! I just grabbed a tea and sat down for what feels like the first time today (definiely the first time without a kid hanging off me)and this post popped up on my dashboard. Coincidence? I think not. Thanks for the reminder to take some time for myself every once and awhile!
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel about Shark Week (as I call it). I get so thrown off- constant fatigue, moodiness that is unparalleled, weird appetite (there are some months where we just straight think I'm pregnant because nothing else makes sense...even though I have an IUD). Taking iron helps, and I hear a good B12 supplement does wonders. But the biggest thing I've realized is to not beat yourself up about it all. You are an awesome lady who is raising two amazing kids, working and being a devoted wife. Sometimes we forget about taking care of ourselves until the shit hits the fan. And that's okay. Just remember to cut yourself some slack and enjoy that precious family of yours. The rest will fall in place. Much love lady (sorry I haven't commented much lately, finally trying to get back into blogging again).
ReplyDeleteHEY Amanda, It's always so fun to hear from you! I love your perspective and you always make me laugh. I haven't had time or energy to devote to blogging but it's nice when I can write a quick blog and stay connected a little with my bloggy friends.
ReplyDeleteI'm pacing myself and trying to be cognizant of taking care of me so i can take care of the fam.
Hugs to you and your sweet little man!
I love this post. God has been revealing much of the same. . . the deliberate, measured slowing is so nice compared to the grinding halt He has been using to teach me. Preach it Mama.
ReplyDeleteyes. i've been learning the importance of saying NO to good stuff because honestly i have no time right now and i am running myself ragged! i learned in my bible study that our body is a temple and we have to take care of it. eat right, exercise and go to bed on time. although my milk always dropped when i exercised too much, so take it easy on that one!
ReplyDelete