Dont Bite Your Friends!

On our way home from having dinner and a play date with our friends the other day, Conrad started whining and crying about a little quarrel with his buddy where he got bit. He kept saying, "My friend bit me mom! He got me Mommy! He hurt me!" Then he'd sniffle for a few seconds, be quiet and then start up again crying and re-living the quarrel. I looked at him in the rear view mirror, trying to have compassion for him and understand where his little heart felt hurt, but it happens. Friends get frustrated or overly excited or angry or whatever and we hurt each other.... I get that. Especially three year olds who are still learning how to share & how to deal in social situations. So I look at him in the rear view mirror and say, "Conrad, let it go honey. It's OK. He wasn't thinking. He loves you bud. He just got overly stimulated and acted out, it happens. He's still your friend. Didn't we forgive him for it? What does forgiveness mean? It means that you accept their apology and you hug them and stop agonizing about it. You let it go! You think good thoughts about them instead of bad thoughts because you love your friend." Then we started talking about what we liked about his friend. His friend is silly, he dances crazy, he always shares snacks with us, he has a fun back yard, he chases you and laughs with you, he watches a show with you, he goes to see the animals with you...... he has a cat. He's really cool and smart. Conrad smiled at me with tears in his eyes thinking about his little buddy and we drove the rest of the way home.

My mother in law once took Dustin out of day care because a kid bit him and she was devastated. I'm a lot like my m.i.l. in many ways but not in this way. Kids are kids. I wanna bite my friends sometimes too! Don't we all?

Just as I'm explaining all of this to Conrad, it hit me. The last few weeks I've been re-living & agonizing over a quarrel with a friend and it has been eating me alive. Several times this week I have thought about what this friend has said to me and have broken down in tears. Even now as I type, the wounds feel fresh still and it's hard not to get a lump in my throat over the hurt that I've been going through. But In that moment, I knew that god was teaching me that forgiveness means to think good thoughts instead of bad thoughts about that person and not to agonize or re-live the hurt that you've felt. To let it go and love them even when they are not lovable. Love them even when you are in pain, when you have been mistreated, when your heart is bruised, when your confidence or self esteem is at an all time low. Love them still. 

There will come a time when I am not lovable or deserving of a friends love. There will come a time when I bite my friend and will hope that they will think good thoughts about me instead of bad thoughts & can find the good in me. 

That's where I am right now. 

Hoping for healing & asking God to restore what is broken. 

{For the LORD your God is living among you. 
He is a mighty savior. 
He will take delight in you with gladness. 
With his love, he will calm all your fears. 
He will rejoice over you with joyful songs. 
Zeph 3:17}