Monday, July 4

Dumb Ass Moment Of The Day:

We went to a friends BBQ yesterday and as I was getting ready, I decided I wanted to wear my wedding ring. The last time I had it on was 3 weeks ago and I didn't have a problem taking it off then, why would I now?

Pregnant idiot.

We go to the BBQ where I cheerfully consumed 2 hot dogs smothered in jalapenos and moments later I realize I had mickey mouse hands (and feet).

When it was time to settle down for the evening, we snuggled into bed to watch an episode of 30 Rock  and as I tried to take my ring off and put it on my night stand, it wouldn't budge at all.

I asked Dustin to grab me some dish soap, we paused our show and i ran my finger under the cold water, twisting it, turning it, lubing it up, he tugged, I tugged, we gave up and decided to get a bowl of cold water with ice cubes to soak my hand hoping it would reduce the swelling. I soaked for a while and we tried again. This time we managed to get it up over my knuckle but my finger started turning purple and at this point I was in tears.

Dustin's suggestion was that we leave it alone for the night, drink some water and hope that by the morning the swelling would go down.... I agree but 10 minutes later, while I'm holding my hand above my head, I get impatient and want the damn thing OFF! We get the dish soap, lube it up again, and tug tug tug. Still nothing. Now Dustin's pissed because I should have listened to him in the first place and now that we've messed with it so much, my finger is even more swollen. He googles "ways to remove stuck rings" and we've done pretty much everything on the list, including taking an ice cold shower to reduce body temperature to help the swelling go down. I couldn't even make a fist, it was that swollen.

Now that my finger is practically turning blue and throbbing, I realize that it's time to call in the big guns.

We dial 311 and tell the non-emergency dispatcher our situation and she sends over the fire fighters to cut off my ring. *Five of them actually. In my living room at 10:00 at night. I was more than embarrassed.

They get to our house within minutes (they are located super close to us which was helpful the time I locked Conrad in he car and didn't have a spare key.... ) As they're sawing into my wedding ring, one of them makes a joke and says, "Well since you've been married for 5 years now, maybe it's time for an upgrade!" I didn't even crack a smile, I was annoyed, in pain and sort of offended about his "make an upgrade" remark, but thankful to have my finger back so i spared him an ass-hole ripping.

I held my tears in until they were gone but broke down as I held my ring (which is now in 2 pieces.) in my hand. Dustin gave me a hug and made me feel little better. It was sad seeing my ring broken.

It's just metal, after all. And it can be fixed. (eventually)

Lesson learned. Stay away from hot dogs when you're pregnant and don't try to wear your wedding ring if your fingers look like sausages.
I think in a few days I'll be able to laugh about it.


  1. Oh, I'm sorry -- that is a beautiful ring, but you're absolutely right that it can eventually be fixed. Glad you have your finger back!

  2. Oh my gosh! I wore mine the other day and it was really hot outside so I swelled up and couldn't get it off for a minute and started to panic. I will not wear it again till after this pregnancy is over and expecially after reading this. haha

  3. OH Chelsea :[
    I'm so so sorry.

  4. Ohhh, I'm so sorry! I was THIS close to the same thing once before. I was about ready to have it cut off and I gave one last try--about broke my finger--but got it off and had a swollen bruised finger for about a week, so I feel your pain, literally!

  5. Oh you poor thing!!! I'm so sorry. I know what you mean about it being just metal but at the same time, so much more.
    I hope you get to have it fixed asap.

  6. Oh no!

    I'm so sorry you had to deal with that :( I am getting to the point where my rings are going to have to come off. Trying to stall as long as possible though.

  7. Ohhh sweet Chelsea. I'm SO sorry your ring is now broken. SHOOT. I wish you could go back in time and just not put it on before that picnic. Also, once I get a job, you might be getting a sweet little surprise in the mail. I love you. I LOVE YOU.