Jason ain't got nothin' on this little serial lady killer....
He is WAY too excited about getting his butt stuck in this bucket. (Those crazy eyes....)
The army crawl, bucket-off-my-butt move. Didn't really work, but nice try.
Daddy arrived home shortly after to have tickle fights.
And Elle Macpherson thought it was all too hilarious.
As I was cleaning, I looked over and saw him take a break from playing with toys
to lay down and admire his sister.
Other than witnessing such uber adorablness,
I've been having some major behavioral issues with Conrad.
-Q: Why does my two year old make my life so hard sometimes?
-A: Uhhhh, Because he's two!
His thought process during a time-out threaten attempt, "Go ahead Mom, threaten me with another time out. See if I care! I'll just keep doing more stuff all day long that you've told me a million times not to do because you know what? I'm in that kind of mood! SO deal with it!" Truth is, I haven't been dealing with it well at all. Why can't he just OBEY and LISTEN? He's going through this ornery stage where if I tell him not to write on the walls with markers, or on my couch, or on his sister while I'm trying to feed her, he gives me this naughty grin and does it anyway. Is he testing me? Why does it have to be a test? Why can't he JUST do what I ASK! Ugh. It causes me such anxiety. (And it always has to be right as I'm trying to get out of the door to get to an appointment on time or when my hands are full and I'm sweating balls trying to cook and have something hot on the table for Dustin when he comes home. It's always right in the middle of something largely important to me when he decides to be naughty.)
So after several time outs didn't work one afternoon, he wasn't tired or hungry or bored, he was just being a TURD! I threatened with a spank. And yes, he disobeyed again (in my head I'm thinking, please god, help him obey. I SO don't want to do this!) And then I did it. Two swats on his little naughty bare bum. He cried for a second and then we hugged and talked about it. I said I loved him and needed him to be a big boy and listen to me and he agreed. It was sad. Sadly, it was necessary.
-A: Uhhhh, Because he's two!
His thought process during a time-out threaten attempt, "Go ahead Mom, threaten me with another time out. See if I care! I'll just keep doing more stuff all day long that you've told me a million times not to do because you know what? I'm in that kind of mood! SO deal with it!" Truth is, I haven't been dealing with it well at all. Why can't he just OBEY and LISTEN? He's going through this ornery stage where if I tell him not to write on the walls with markers, or on my couch, or on his sister while I'm trying to feed her, he gives me this naughty grin and does it anyway. Is he testing me? Why does it have to be a test? Why can't he JUST do what I ASK! Ugh. It causes me such anxiety. (And it always has to be right as I'm trying to get out of the door to get to an appointment on time or when my hands are full and I'm sweating balls trying to cook and have something hot on the table for Dustin when he comes home. It's always right in the middle of something largely important to me when he decides to be naughty.)
So after several time outs didn't work one afternoon, he wasn't tired or hungry or bored, he was just being a TURD! I threatened with a spank. And yes, he disobeyed again (in my head I'm thinking, please god, help him obey. I SO don't want to do this!) And then I did it. Two swats on his little naughty bare bum. He cried for a second and then we hugged and talked about it. I said I loved him and needed him to be a big boy and listen to me and he agreed. It was sad. Sadly, it was necessary.
Later on in the week it happened again. He crossed me like a gun slingin' rebel cowboy. I kept asking him to come sit down so i could change his poopy diaper (again, I'm thinking, dear lord, when will this kid be potty trained! Ugh, the poop! The grown man sized monster turds! Gag!) After sparring back and forth, during this momentous stand off of dirty looks exchanged back and forth, I say, "If you don't get over here right now, you will get a spanking." Imagine if you will, dingle berries dangling from his tush. It's not pretty. And you know what he did, he gave me a squinty-eyed, furrow browed dirty look and marched his stinky butt right over and laid down. Thank god.
Discipline is so hard. It's hard to pick a parenting style and stick with it. Someone once told me, "Good parents shouldn't have to hit their kids." I'm starting to wonder though if spanking makes you a "good" or a "bad" parent. My thing is, every kid is different. For some kids, time out's don't effect them. It's not as big of a consequence. I don't believe that spanking (not beating a kid's ass raw, but spanking in love and not out of anger) does not have a lasting effect. I don't think he'll be 20 years old in his therapist's office telling stories of traumatic ass whoppings. I highly doubt it. I do believe that to love my child means to discipline him, which has a lasting effect. Some days though, If I threaten with a time out, he falls apart and begs me not to. He does exactly what I ask and doesn't fight me. Other days, not so much. I feel like he's giving me invisible middle fingers all day long. I can take away Sesame Street, toys, treats. Nothing matters. Nothing. He's just a rebel whose only cause is to shit all over my day.
I do feel confident in my choices when it comes to training my son up in a godly way, in a way that he will look back on his child hood/ teen years and be thankful that I didn't let him get away with
whatever-whenever-wherever. I hope he will thank me.
This transition has been very difficult (some days). He loves her so much. He's totally obsessed with her but it's me that he can't stand, I'm afraid. He hates that his time is divided up. I'm trying to make things special for him during this transition. He had a sleep over with my in laws one weekend and went to pet the animals at a petting zoo with my parents one weekend. It's just been such a funky few weeks. There are moments in my day when he's wearing me so thin emotionally that I just think, "Why can't you come with a MUTE button and a freeze button. I'd do anything for you to just stand quietly like a statue for 30 minutes!"
Have I become an enabler? Maybe I'm the problem.
It's hard to explain that his sister is here to stay, and even if he's sometimes pissed off about it,
he still needs to do what he's asked. I hope he gets it soon.
So that's where we are. When he's not getting his butt stuck in a bucket and making me laugh so hard I CRY, he's getting his naughty butt in trouble, which makes me WANT TO CRY!
And so is motherhood.
No one said it'd be easy.
Taking the good with the bad.
Discipline is so hard. It's hard to pick a parenting style and stick with it. Someone once told me, "Good parents shouldn't have to hit their kids." I'm starting to wonder though if spanking makes you a "good" or a "bad" parent. My thing is, every kid is different. For some kids, time out's don't effect them. It's not as big of a consequence. I don't believe that spanking (not beating a kid's ass raw, but spanking in love and not out of anger) does not have a lasting effect. I don't think he'll be 20 years old in his therapist's office telling stories of traumatic ass whoppings. I highly doubt it. I do believe that to love my child means to discipline him, which has a lasting effect. Some days though, If I threaten with a time out, he falls apart and begs me not to. He does exactly what I ask and doesn't fight me. Other days, not so much. I feel like he's giving me invisible middle fingers all day long. I can take away Sesame Street, toys, treats. Nothing matters. Nothing. He's just a rebel whose only cause is to shit all over my day.
I do feel confident in my choices when it comes to training my son up in a godly way, in a way that he will look back on his child hood/ teen years and be thankful that I didn't let him get away with
whatever-whenever-wherever. I hope he will thank me.
This transition has been very difficult (some days). He loves her so much. He's totally obsessed with her but it's me that he can't stand, I'm afraid. He hates that his time is divided up. I'm trying to make things special for him during this transition. He had a sleep over with my in laws one weekend and went to pet the animals at a petting zoo with my parents one weekend. It's just been such a funky few weeks. There are moments in my day when he's wearing me so thin emotionally that I just think, "Why can't you come with a MUTE button and a freeze button. I'd do anything for you to just stand quietly like a statue for 30 minutes!"
Have I become an enabler? Maybe I'm the problem.
It's hard to explain that his sister is here to stay, and even if he's sometimes pissed off about it,
he still needs to do what he's asked. I hope he gets it soon.
So that's where we are. When he's not getting his butt stuck in a bucket and making me laugh so hard I CRY, he's getting his naughty butt in trouble, which makes me WANT TO CRY!
And so is motherhood.
No one said it'd be easy.
Taking the good with the bad.
You pretty much just described my life. My 2 year can be such a stinker. Gives me this sneaky little smile and deliberately ignores what I'm telling her. I just want to scream. or sit on my couch and cry. which I sometimes do. I KNOW there's things I could do to be a better mother. Even though I know I'm not the only person in the world with a naughty 2 year old, it's kind of a relief to hear other's experience and to REALLY know that I'm not the only one experiencing all this...that it's normal??
ReplyDeleteThank God it's not just me either! I think it has a lot to do with bringing home a new baby. My daughter turned into the devil!! And yes I spanked her. And then felt guilty. My only advice is to be consistent, stay calm (I read somewhere that if you get mad then the kid wins), and pray.
ReplyDeleteAnd just to warn you...you think two is bad? Just wait till he turns three. :)
He is just too cute!
ReplyDeleteoh my! he is just too cute. so is your little girl! ah, so precious. we have another year or so until our little on is two but i'm already starting to learn the whole disciplining thing- AH! it's tough. praise the Lord for patience :) hehe
ReplyDeleteI cannot believe how big he's getting! He's turned in to such a boy.. and a cute one at that :)
ReplyDeleteGood post. We just started reading Dr Dobson's "Dare to Discipline" at night in bed. I figure we better get started on it now. This little boy of ours is aready pretty stubborn. We just read tonight about how spankings are to be used in those moments where the kid is truly challenging your authority. Those are the moments they need to know who is in charge. They're testing the waters.. it's what kids do.
And you're so right. It really does come down to the individual child. I have a friend who's son isn't phased at all by a spanking. So she has to use other techniques.
Proud of you, inspired by your love.
ReplyDeleteI know I don't have experience as a momma, but taking a family relationships class when I was attending NTBible School I learned a lot about parenting and what God thinks about it. Consistency is KEY, as is letting them know you're boss. Spanking is pleasing to the Lord, done well in HIS guiding way. Read some of the stuff in Proverbs. If your hand doesn't work for spanking, use a wooden spoon. And LOVE on him after you discipline him, so he remembers that you do love him.
xoxoxoxo
Hi! I am new to the blogging, and I LOVE your blog and your BEAUTIFUL children.
ReplyDeleteI do not have children, but I did work with growing toddlers for many years as a Montessori teacher. The best advice I can give you is give choices, give choices, give choices. Always encourage them that it is their actions that are the issue, not their character.
Ex: "Conrad, You can draw on this piece paper, or choose a different activity"
Ex "Conrad, I did not like that you chose to draw on the wall. Crayons are for coloring on paper. If you choose to draw on the wall, you may not have crayons."
Sounds SUPER cheesy, but I found it extremely effective. I think it takes the rebellion away and makes them feel in control.
Hope this helps!
Oh, how I relate to this right now! Life with a 2.8 year old and an almost 2 week old -- help! My son has had several time outs this week and I've definitely gotten close to spanking. I think what really gets me is trying to be mentally on point at all times with my toddler -- being able to think of quick ways to redirect his attention and giving him options and blahblahblah. How do you do it on only a few hours of sleep? So, yes, I feel you and it does help to know we're not alone in feeling like we're failing and succeeding all at the same time.
ReplyDeleteOh No! My son is only 19 months and he's already trying to test his boundaries. This is soooo hard! He is so stubborn. He will sit there and fight with me a bajillion times, but the only thing that works is being consistent. If I tell him no, it has to stay no... consistency.
ReplyDeleteUmm, two kids, no sleep, and a boundary breakin' little boy. You're my hero. Holla!
I worked at a Montessori also and it is an incredible method. Although Conrad is two, he's beginning to understand that he has choices. And now he needs to understand that with those choices come consequences. With Montessori, the goal is to never say no. Rather, give choices like Diana said. Another example of wording would be, "crayons are used on paper, not on walls." Or if a shovel is used to hit, you explain shovels are used for digging. You may use the shovel to dig or be done using the shovel. That way he understands that we use objects in appropriate ways or they are taken away and you don't feel like you are always saying no. Kids also like to feel in control. When you give them options they end up doing something you would like them to do, but they are choosing to do that themselves. They learn independence and you don't feel like the bad guy all the time. Win win.
ReplyDeleteDiscipline is not easy at all, but so necessary for them. I have some great book suggestions if youbare interested: Shepherding a Child's Heart by Teddy Tripp, Gospel-Powered Parenting by William P Farley, and Don't make me Count to Three by Ginger Plowman. Good Luck!!
ReplyDeletePs...Loving the Little Years by Rachel Jankovic is one of the best mothering books Ive read!!! It's such a great read!
ReplyDelete