head bands

Do we love this trend or hate it??

This week...

1) This week- I Signed up for Twitter. Then realized I'll probably never use it. Someone please explain to me how it works....I just don't see my life as that interesting. Should I be waiting in line at Trader Joe's and have a twitter light bulb go off in my head that says "Gee, I really should tell all of my friends what I'm doing right now, because I'm sure they all are dying to know!" and then be glued to my cell phone "twittering" about how I'm about to make my husband dinner, or that we're going to a movie, or that we're doing this or that....SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TWITTER TO ME! Maybe it's just me, But i feel like I already have enough stupid things that take up my time (myspace, emails, watching episodes of the Colbert Report,blogging, doing nothing etc.) Do i REALLY need more to consume my life?? Unless I've got something REALLY cleaver to say, or insightful, which most of the time I don't. I guess the only argument is that it can be a good "tool" to keep connected with people, but let's face it, I'll probably end up looking like a "tool" twittering about the stupid crap I think of day to day... And no one cares that I'm at Trader Joe's buying really fresh berries and wine. Most of my friends Tweet, but their lives are more interesting than mine I suppose.

2) This week- I Decided to make peach cobbler on a whim without a recipe for the first time, and had my husband in a food coma afterwards....peach cobbler with Ben and Jerry's peach cobbler ice cream?? Some couples have make-up sex, next time we're in a fight, I'll just bake him some make-up cobbler.....
3) This week- I woke up with a smile on my face two days in a row praising God for giving me good rest and feeling like the days were passing quickly.

35 more days of pregnancy!!

THINGS THAT MAKE ME SMILE: CUTE NAKED BABY BUTTS!

4) This week- I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of my baby Bjorn, and other wonderful baby things to come on the UPS truck. My baby bedding, and the Gap outfit that I can't wait to hang on it's tiny little hanger!!! (Why is it so fun to get things in the mail??) My face lights up when Boyd, our UPS guy hands me my packages at work! I like to pretend I have no idea what I'm opening, It makes it more fun that way!

5) This week- I Got our taxes done!

6) This week- We SADLY watched the Rebs lose to the Utes and Dustin looked like a sad little boy who just dropped his ice cream cone on a hot summers day...That's depressing. I know that whether UNLV wins or loses, my husbands mood depends on it. But we got to enjoy Grandma Lois's BBQ and potato pancakes! That's not depressing.... on a side note, Lon Kruger is pretty hot for an older man...

7) This week- Our baby is the size of a honey dew melon...

8) This week- I got really excited browsing through the new Alloy catalog, book marking the things I would like to buy might my husband win mega bucks anytime soon. If my husband were a gambling man that is.(These are cute post-pregnancy outfits)!Can't wait to be able to wear cute clothes again! And cute sandals! No more puffy feet!

9) This week- I've realized every thought seems to be about food, what I've eaten, what I plan to eat, what I would like to eat in the next day or so.... Maybe I should twitter about it! Quick, wheres my cell phone!

10) This week- I hung out with Sofia & Avery and we set a date to watch her birthing video...Then I realized, I need to film my birth so I can someday show it to my girlfriends when they get pregnant (Allie) and ease their fears (freak them out) before they have their babies! What a genius idea, to film your birth! I'm all over it!

Tonight I make enchiladas and my parents and brother are coming over to help us get Conrad's room together! Plus, 30 rock is on! Woot Woot! And it's Thursday, Pay day!!! The week just keeps getting better!

35 WEEKS AND COUTNING

ONLY 5 MORE DREADFUL WEEKS TO GO!!!

My back hurts, I'm in pain, and I've grown out of my husbands white undershirts to sleep in. can't wait until this is over! Did i mention the third trimester sucks??!!

I've invested in a box of these bad boysTo help my back from not killing me at work. Apparently, the baby is putting pressure on my sciatic nerve and that is what has got me doubled over some days, not able to take deep breathes because of the pain- or hold a conversation.

I DON'T KNOW HOW SOME WOMAN CAN GO ALL THE WAY TO THE VERY END OF 40 WEEKS STILL WORKING...each morning I find myself waking, pleading with God praying "Please give me supernatural energy to get through the day, please help my back to not hurt...please God please, I can't make it through another day....I want to be at home reading a good book, sipping hot tea, taking hot baths, watching re-runs of Friends! Organizing baby clothes!!!" PRAY that I can make it to the end!

That's enough of my woe-is-me, I'm grateful for my job!

and I'm grateful that my co-workers have been barring with me.

I move slow
I waddle
I eat lots of snacks
I forget what my own name is somedays (My boss says I have the memory of a goldfish)
I leave early for Dr's appointments
I lay back in my chair with my feet propped up at the end of the day
I ask clients if i can borrow a quarter so I can continue to empty out the M&M machine next to my desk....that machine was sent directly from the devil himself! It has been my down fall! (Damn M&M's.)

Work has been hectic lately (thank God) so to divert my mind off of my aching back that feels like a million daggars are being stabbed into it daily, I must eat a small handful of M&M's at least once a day....That is the only cure for my back pain, and ThermaCare heat wraps!

I will post a new picture of my huge-ness soon. But if you're wondering what I look like, just imagine a whale and that is pretty accurate to what I look like! A lovely, pregnant, fat little whale! I'm honestly not that big, I don't think I'm a whale.... I'm actually very proud of my baby's growth and size. My belly is beautiful (Eventhough I no longer have a belly button!) I can't wait to see my son's face.

IT WILL ALL BE WORTH IT!

A few weeks ago, I was worried about hospital births, wanting to have complete control of my birth so that I could be "one" with my body, I wanted to go all natural, NO DRUGS, I didn't want a c-section, I wanted to breast feed exclusively (which i still do) But now that I'm at the end of this pregnancy, I am just SO ready to have this baby out, I have NO energy to worry myself about how he comes, I'm letting my plans go out the door and trusting God to have his way with Conrad's birth. I've been so stressed out about not doing a c-section, and not having drugs, but now I'm over it. It's not worth the frustration and stress. If my baby drinks formula, he'll be fine, if he gets cut out of me, it will be fine. I'M OVER IT! JUST COME ALREADY KID!

Update on my life cont.

We will no longer be needing help moving into the other unit now as our good friends Angie & Dom have offered to rent out their condo to us. They put an offer on a 3 bedroom condo off of Horizon Ridge (with hardwood floors) and vaulted ceilings, but someone else got it, so they're going back out with their realtor on Friday to look at a couple more. The payments would be $250.00 cheaper a month which is a total blessing to us! MORE BEDROOMS FOR LESS MONEY A MONTH?? SIGN ME UP!

We had dinner with them this week, and they told us what their lives looked like when they were having their first baby. They filed bankruptcy, got both cars repossessed and really struggled. They said that God had put it on their hearts to bless us when I first got pregnant, and wanted to provide us with an opportunity that they were never offered when they were our ages.

The timing couldn't have been worse with us already paying our cleaning fees for the condo we were set to move into, and paying 2 weeks rent...all in all, we've lost $690.00 by not moving into the condo that we had signed a lease for. All of the fees are non-refundable :(

In the long run though, we know that it will be better to save money each month, have secure landlords, and they know that we won't be hosting beer pong tournaments in their lovely condo! So it's a win win situation for all! AND we'll have more space!!! Hallelujah! A BABY ROOM, AN OFFICE AND A BEDROOM??? 3 bedrooms for the first time!!!

So with that being said, we are staying in our current home for another few months going month to month as Angie and Dom work everything out with the bank etc. in buying their new home that we will be renting.

It is predicted that our current home will be foreclosed upon in the next 4 months! Yikes! But we're going to pay month-to-month until then.

Last night we started transforming Conrad's room by moving the couch in our office out, putting our desk in our bedroom, hanging his burnt orange velvet curtains up, and Dustin started assembling his crib! Can't wait to see the end result! Although we won't be able to paint until we get to the new condo, it is still fun to take all of his baby things out and make it HIS room!

Other news: I had another baby shower this past weekend! I received countless baby onsies, tons of clothes etc. AND a much appreciated gift from my mother in law: My rocking chair! I found my rocker on Craig's list for $100 (that is being reupholstered with brown tweed material)...can't wait to show you what it looks like. WE FINALLY decided on baby bedding! Praise God! I found it on www.landofnod.com I like that it has olive green, brown, orange, and blue. It's a little more trendy than I wanted to do, but it will tie the rooms colors together and it's well made.

I also just purchased this outfit for Conrad to wear in the summer:
I had a Gap gift card burning a hole in my wallet, and I thought this was the sweetest little outfit, especially because, since I'm not having a girl to buy accesories for, I have to find other accesories for our boy, LIKE HATS!!!! My Mom said this outfit is gay looking, but what does she know, she teased my bangs and made me wear stupid 80's hair, so there! I win!

Update on My life

I had a great Dr.s appointment today, considering they haven't all been that great. Each visit has become more and more frustrating with the Dr. monitoring my weight so closely. I told myself that if I heard another one of our clients at work tell me how huge I am, or had to hear my doctor tell me to stay away from sweets every stinking visit I was going to ring some one's neck....Men Don't understand, Pregnant woman dint like to be told how huge you think they are, or that you think they're having triplets! I'M NOT THAT DANG HUGE PEOPLE! I'M SO OVER IT!

But this visit was great. The doc said the baby is about 5 1/2 lbs now, and she predicts he'll be about 7 1/2- 8 1/2 lbs...big and healthy....I've even lost 3 lbs. since my last visit. She said my severe back pains are from back contractions??! I've brought my heating pad to work, invested in a box of ThermaCare back patches, popped handfuls of Tylenol throughout the day, received countless back rubs, and still, my back hurts like a mother! So say a little prayer for me if you will. The babe is still head down, he's moving a lot, and everything looks good....

Not quite sure how I'm going to manage working all the way to the end. I don't know how some woman do it. It gets harder everyday to move and not complain from being so uncomfortable, tired, in pain, and deal with swollen hands and feet. Sleeping is hard, and I HATE getting up out of bed to pee over and over...(More complaining, my appologies!)

We move into our new condo on Thursday! I'm very excited about it! (If you'd like to help my poor husband carry furniture and boxes, we'd surly appreciate it. We will have a birthing class on Sat. from 9-5, but we'll be moving Thurs,Fri, & Sunday if you would like to help! We won't be there on Saturday because of the class, but my parents will be, so come on down! We're moving into another unit in the same building, so there will be no trucks, just walking furniture over!)

This has been a hectic few weeks with Dustin's school schedge, us both working, 2 baby showers, boxing things up for the move & getting organized....I'm glad it's almost over so i can start putting Conrad's room together! I've been itching to put his little clothes on hangers, paint his room, put his crib together and get ready! I need all the help I can get, as It is hard to bend over and there isn't a lot I can do being 8 months pregnant trying to move and clean!...So if you are bored and feel charitable, please come help me!

We found out last night that there may be a possibility that Grandma Lois might move down to Vegas! She said she's had some people look to buy her house in Illinois and it's gotten too big for her to tend, so while she has been here in town, she has looked at a few houses in Henderson/green valley! This would be a HUGE answer to prayer for us because she would be able to help us out A LOT with the baby. We're very excited and can't wait to see what God does!

Prayer Request:

With the future of the economy being a deep concern of all, with owners not paying their mortgages because they've lost jobs, and the unemployment rate sky rocketing, the future can sometimes look bleek. Dustin and I both work in the construction industry, and jobs are drying up, so we're both praying that we can stay employed...(His job is more secure than mine.)It's been a tough year (or few years) with him completing a degree in 3 years that usually takes 5 years to complete. He's taken 81 engineering credits in two years. We haven't had a social life, we've been consumed by Dustin's school obligations, our new baby on the way, making sure the lights stay on etc. Life has been trying on both of us this year and a true test of our marriage as we go through this transition in our lives. As God refines us with trials and hardships.

One of the biggest hardships I have faced as a future Mom is figuring out what the months following Conrad's birth will look like. I am grateful to have my job as it provides medical benefits that Dustin and I have been able to appreciate with a $5,000+ medical bill that was paid for by my insurance. Without that insurance, this would have been an even more interesting pregnancy! Dustin doesn't receive benefits through his job since he is in the internship program and they do not offer it. So the best thing for our family is that I go back to work after the baby is born. I will get 6 weeks of unpaid maternity leave, Dustin will get 0 weeks or days to stay home with me...bills still have to be paid...time can not be taken off...and with a full school load and almost 30 hour work weeks, the man has enough pressure to deal with already. We see the light at the end of the tunnel and we praise God that he's been able to get Dustin through school and work like he has.

Dustin will be graduating in August. He also has to take a test in April that is a prerequisite for any job that he applies for. The test is a 2 day test, his study guide is like 2000 pages (It looks like a bible) So with that being said I am forever grateful for the drive and ambition my husband continues to show in providing for our family.

I'm trying to figure out a way for us to pay for daycare, and be able to work as well because the internship program at his work doesn't offer medical benefits and with a new baby, we'll be going to a lot of Dr's visits....So I'm basically working to pay for doctors appointments and daycare.

It's tough. I don't want to put my baby in a day care, especially when we go to tour the day care and the lady shows us a scrap book that the teachers make for each month for each baby because she says "We don't want you to miss out on their milestones- so we make you a scrap book...." or "I was fortunate enough to get to stay home with my baby, so I never had to take her to a daycare..." And I'm thinking, "This is what you are trained to say to me to sell me on putting my kid in your facility?? No one would prefer to have their 6 week old baby in a day care all day while they go to their job! And then she said to me "We'd really rather you put your baby in at 8 weeks instead of 6 weeks...because you need time to bond with your baby, and 6 weeks is just too soon!" (You don't think I'd "REALLY RATHER-NOT PUT MY BABY IN YOUR FACILITY??? DON'T YOU THINK I ALREADY KNOW THAT 6 WEEKS IS JUST TOO SOON????)and this is where I try to hold my tongue as much as I can, trying not to squint my eyes at her and wipe that mean look off of my face- I pause and as gently as I can possibly muster, I say "If I had it my way, I wouldn't have my baby here at all!!" I kindly shake her hand, smile, and we leave. I call the lady an idiot-bitch-retard-moron with bad hair, etc. in the car, cry a little, take a deep breath and we drive home. She's just doing her job and pushing her opinions on me, that's all. She didn't deserve to be called bad names, God forgive me, but can you see my frustration?? The guilt of it all was already weighing on me like a ton of bricks as we stood in the nursery with crib after crib lined up next to eachother, I surely didn't need her two cents.

So that's where we are with child care! It's scary. It's hard not knowing what the future will bring. It's hard to trust God when I always pictured this differently. And it's EVEN harder on my husband who has done the best job I can imagine any man doing with all he continues to juggle day in and day out. He has done such a great job persevering through school and work and feels guilty enough because he'd rather me stay home as well.

I've interviewed ladies for at home day cares. One lady was asking 150 dollars a day...which is hysterical. (DAY CARE IS EXPENSIVE!) I've exhausted my ideas, so if you have any, please shoot them my way.

In the 2 1/2 years I worked in a nursery, I never considered how hard it must be for Moms to hand their babies over into my care. I didn't think they were bad people, or wrong, or should be staying home...they were insuring me a job. Now I am in the same position as they were.

So I'm left with an internal struggle with where my life is going to be in the next 6 months. Will I even be working? Will Dustin get a different job? Will I actually LOVE that he's in a daycare meeting new friends and learning? Will I HATE it and cry every time I drop him off? What will it look like? How am I going to feel? What is best for our family?

When I worked in the infant room at the nursery, I was assigned 6 babies to care for each day, (4-12 months old) and the other teacher in the room also had 6 babies. We learned how to get them all on a feeding and nap schedule (Which can drive a person bonkers), we learned how to tune their incessant cries out when we couldn't move fast enough to keep them all happy, we learned how to clean 12 high chairs in a row and pat 12 backs in a row to get them all to nap for us 2 times a day for 2 hours each nap, I've beaten food out of babies who were blue in the face from choking and had to explain to Moms why their baby had bruises on their backs, I've been pooped on, barfed on, and peed on...It was a hard job, one of the hardest jobs and most rewarding jobs I've ever had. I know what it's like to pray that God could just make the babies stop crying and get me through the day with tears streaming down my face. But I DON'T know what it's like to have a baby to care for 24 hours a day. No training that I've had can prepare me for what's ahead. I feel like a deer in head lights! Caring for babies and the children that I've been a Nanny for makes me feel like being a Mom is going to be the best Job in the world.

So that is my prayer request. Please pray for Dustin & I as this transition stares us dead in the face, and decisions have to be made. And pray that I would have mercy on people with these ever-raging hormones! Pregnancy doesn't always bring out the best in me.

What are your V-day plans??

Valentines Day cards are fun:

We're going to the movies! If I weren't "with child" we would probably hide a bottle of chilled Champagne in a backpack and sneak it into the theater to drink with a straw! I get a rush out of seeing what I can sneak in. (Who wants to pay $6.00 for a 12oz. soda??) This year, we're planning on seeing He’s Just Not That Into You or Revolutionary Road....I've been DYING to see it! (What's up with Kate Winslet always showing her boobs in every movie?? I mean, she's hot, but dude, every single movie?? It's getting a little weird.) I digress.... I'm not usually a chick flick kind of gal, but a few weeks ago when we tried to see The Wrestler, I got a little sick to my stomach watching Mickey Rourke slice his head open with a razor blade...So chick flick it is!

Back to Valentines day! Dustin isn't super-pro-V-day. It's not that he doesn't write me corny cards dripping with romance and sap, he does. It's just annoying to think that we need to dedicate a single day out of the year to romance alone. I like "things", I like jewelry, but I don't need chocolates or roses to know he loves me.... food pretty much seals the deal though. Truth is, If It was social acceptable to be a lard-ass, I would be. I would eat myself to death if it was ok to do so because I love food. The door to my soul is my taste buds.

I remember the first year we were married, for Valentines Day we went to Areol in the Mandalay Bay where they have wine angles dressed in all black that travel up a 4 story wine cellar mission impossible style, flying through the air by pulleys to bring your wine bottle to your table! That night, we had lobster bisque for the first time, an amazing bottle of wine, 2 desserts, and so on. (For months after we ate there, I wanted to be a wine angel so badly. I can't think of a cooler job other than being a burlesque dancer...apparently, you can't get hired for a job like that unless you're a perfessional dancer from France, yes I applied once, and apparently you have to have dancing skills that I apparently don't have, But if I could, I would be a wine angel, or a burlesque dancer. Those are awesome jobs.) Areol was amazing. I woke up this morning talking about lobster bisque....(Fatty).

So happy V-day tomorrow....
I will be waking up, happily making blue berry pancakes with butter and whipped cream going against Dr's orders for my stupid pregnancy diet!

The perfect Valentines day gift

FOR A BOY!What a BIG egg! Could it have come from a dinosaur? You'll know for sure when you crack it open and discover ten baby dinosaurs inside. Some are milk chocolate, some are dark chocolate, some are white chocolate. All are rich, delicious, and immensely fun to eat.

16.99 @ WWW.HEARTHSONG.COM

Geek Kitty

When Dustin and I began dating, I started a tradition of drawing the two of us as characters. Mostly to poke fun at our height difference. If you look through old cards or notes, you will find Dustin drawn as a bear with curly hair and glasses, and so on.When I went to Thailand, I gave my sister a stack of 12 cards for Dustin to read for each day that I was gone. That way, he'd be able to hear from me each day of my absents. Every day she would drop a card in the mail and each card had a different drawing on it of Dustin and I, or a joke, or bible verse, or something silly to make him smile. He of course had no idea who was dropping the cards in the mail, but since there were days upon days that we didn't speak, this was something for him to look forward to and before I left, I didn't tell him what I had planned, so it was a fun surprise for him.

I write this because...

Dustin and I write letters to each other that are "from Conrad" from time to time, and I wanted to give Dustin a gift from Conrad (for Conrad), so I found a lady on Etsy who would sew a stuffed animal to resemble Dustin with curly hair, glasses, and some added accessories. I've fallen in love with dinosaurs since I've become pregnant, and they remind us of Conrad, so she sewed a dinosaur onto the stuffed animal. And since Dustin has to do many equations with his Engineering homework, I asked to have a calculator velcrowed to one of his hands, and curly hair, and glasses...

In her Etsy shop, she called this the "Geek Kitty" and with this plaid print, it looks pretty geeky to me, which, Lets be honest here...totally reminds me of my hot-geeky-husband. Here is the end result:Every kid has a stuffed animal that they bond with or a blanket or whatever. Mine was a brown Pound Puppy that I still have to this day. The Pound Puppy's ear has been sewn back on a few times, he has blue paint on him, and his body is completely flattened from me squeezing him tightly at night up until I was 12...or 18, either way.

My hope is that this stuffed animal will be one of Conrad's favorite toys to play with and carry around the house to keep for years and remind him of Dad. It's something different and one of a kind that makes us smile, because It reminds us of the love letters we write one another, and now is something for our son to share with us as well.

It's always fun to

window shop online:
My fav. finds this week....Oldnavy.com clearance sectionOld school suspender pants for baby: $11.70Matching shoes: $5.00Cute hat to "top" off the adorableness: $5.00

This whole outfit can be yours for $21.70 what a steal!

And I know I'm strictly limited to boy clothes, but dude...I can't handle how stinkin cute this hat is with that little pink bow!!

33 weeks

This weekend I learned that I absolutely CAN NOT wear my heels any longer under any circumstance. I am my mothers daughter and I am becoming more and more like her as the days pass. I now love all of the things i hated as a child...make up, old-heavy- hard-to-move antique furniture, and girly things like heels (all things that remind me of my mother.) If you ever need to feel sexy, or if your husband is over six feet tall and you're short, put on a pair of heels! But If you're 8 months pregnant with swollen hands and feet, your heels privileges have been revoked! Your feet may end up looking like this after wearing heels all night at a cocktail party...(Babycenter.com says our baby is the size of a pineapple, but I'm thinking he's closer to the size of a turkey!)

7 MORE WEEKS TO GO!!!!!

Now for much more important news:

Yesterday we had a VERY long visit with our doctor going over our birthing plan. Dustin went with me to my apt. He usually just goes to the ultrasounds so we both don't miss too much work, but he went with me this time. We got tons of questions, misconceptions and concerns answered and the doctor didn't rush us at all. I'm really glad we chose her to be our doctor because she said that her duty is to observe the birthing process, and to intervene when there is potential danger to the baby, not to make decisions for me. We recently watched a movie called The Business Of Being Born, and although it was very educational and had some great points, it made doctors seems so heartless, like a woman in labor is a burden to them and all they want to do is cut you open so they can get home for dinner etc. So to hear her tell me that there was no time limit on my delivery, and that I was able to use a birthing ball, stand if I wanted, or sit in a whirl pool to help things along made me feel so much more comfortable. She said that Pitocin or an epidural was not going to be pushed onto me, and in most cases, if the nurses think she should do a c-section, she will try all of the natural alternatives before she will consider going that route. Dustin and I liked that she said that the delivery is for the family to decide how it goes, and if we wanted to have tambourines and incense more power to us! She's just there to help my body do something that it already knows how to do.

But she did agree that some doctors DO opt to do Cesarean sections when it isn't necessary, but that isn't how she practices medicine...Which I appreciated! (But if the baby is in danger, or his shoulders get stuck, I'd rather just get a C-Section and get the baby here safely than let my pride or my plans get in the way.) We kept saying on the way home "Wow, that was awesome, she really cares about us, and we can't take to heart everything we watch or hear." It's just so hard when you know you're going to go through something you've never gone through before LIKE LABOR! I often tell Dustin that I feel like having this baby feels like the first day of Middle school again; scared, confused, and overwhelmed. I don't know what to expect, or how I'll be treated. So to know that she has my best interest comforts me.

She said Conrad is over 4 lbs. He's a good healthy weight, and he's already head down. So we're praying he stays that way. He's almost ready to make his debut!
She said the normal heart rate is 120-160 beats per minute and Conrad's heart is 146 beats per minute.

This would be a great

Valentines day gift, Or third anniversary gift, or "push" present?? Hint Hint.


So dang cute!

Jan 13, 09

Dear Conrad,
We are increasingly more enamored by the miracle that you are. You alive in me has opened my eyes to how deep God's mercy goes. You, my son have drawn me even closer to my creator, the creator who is responsible for forming your ever growing hands, organs, brain and your long skinny legs. I pray that one day, you'll see your great need for a savior to rescue your soul from yourself and I ache for the pain, angst, turmoil, and the frustrations you will face as you go from boy to man. It's 11:37, well past my bed time, but here we are up again as your Dad sleeps in our room and I'm here with you in the office that will soon become your room, falling more in love as you squirm and move reminding me that you're alive. Reminding me that you're already such a huge part of who I am.
I day dream of standing in the middle of you and your Dad one day when you both tower over me and I can gaze up at your tall stature adoringly. My eyes burn from tears of joy, the highs and lows of being pregnant with you, the pressure, and hormones. I feel like a failure sometimes. I have good days and bad days, I guess it's to be expected with the changes in my life. It's really amazing to consider the future. I eagerly await the unknown, I smile in the face of what if's, I imagine the good, the bad, the beauty you will engulf me in and the pain to watch you grow up and figure stuff out, to not need me, to fall in love, to have someone hurt you or not want you. Life is hard, nothing is guaranteed to us, but in it, in the pain is great joy. I pray this for you that you can find joy in the heart aches of life. You're going to change our lives forever.
I wish you could know how excited and proud your Dad is to welcome you into our lives. When we're lying in bed, he puts is hand on my stomach and talks to you. You always seem to respond to his voice which makes your Dad think that you love him more than you love me when you kick for him and not for me. He says that you obviously love Mama more though because I sustain your life, and I think to myself often, "No God sustains your life. God is responsible for our baby boys health, Conrad belongs to God and how fortunate we are to be chosen to care for you while you're on this earth with us!"
Back when your Dad and I started dating, when he was 18 and I was 19 (Us on one of our first dates in 2004 pictured to the right) Two happy kids we were, totally unaware of what life was going to have in store for us. I knew that he was made to be a Daddy and a husband. He has always talked about raising a child. He talks about holding you, kissing you, teaching you... I know he is going to give you everything you will need mentally, spiritually and emotionally to navigate through this world. You will not be alone. His desire to love you, teach you and protect you is so strong and evident. You name is on his lips daily.

It's late. I love you buddy.
- Mommy

ANYWAY

by Mother Teresa


People are often unreasonable, illogical and
self-centered; Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish,
ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends
and some genuine enemies; Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you;
Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy
overnight; Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be
jealous; Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten
tomorrow; Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be
enough; Give the world your best anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and
God; It was never between you and them anyway.

32 weeks

Tomorrow marks my 32ND week of pregnancy! Woo Hoo!Babycenter says: "By now, your baby weighs 3.75 pounds (about the size of a large jicama) and is about 16.7 inches long, taking up a lot of space in your uterus. You're gaining about a pound a week and roughly half of that goes right to your baby. In fact, she'll gain a third to half of her birth weight during the next 7 weeks as she fattens up for survival outside the womb. She now has toenails, fingernails, and real hair (or at least respectable peach fuzz). Her skin is becoming soft and smooth as she plumps up in preparation for birth."
Reading about how our baby has fingernails and peach fuzz makes me smile. I woke up this morning praying that God would give me supernatural energy. Yesterday my back was killing me ALL day and I Couldn't hardly keep my eyes open! I don't have the kind of energy I had in my 2nd trimester!

People have asked me if I'm at that point yet where I just want this kid out of me, and a few weeks ago I was like "NO, I want to savor the last few weeks of my life without child, just me and my husband! I'm not ready for the baby yet!" Now, when a stranger in the Target line asks me if I'm totally just ready to be done, I say "Hell yes! I want him out NOW!", before they can even finish their sentence. I'm so over being pregnant! I honestly don't see how some woman can do this more than a few times! Or maybe I'm just not good at being pregnant!?

I've been dropping tiny hints to my husband of things I would like to have as my "Push Present" for when I deliver. A "Push Present" is a new trend where your husband presents you with a special gift of some sort as a reward for delivering his child. Pretty clever idea right?? It doesn't have to be expensive, just meaningful. Maybe a lovely card, or a special plant that we could keep as a reminder of this time in our lives. (But plants die, so ax that idea) Or a pair of yellow platforms that I could look super sexy in...(hint hint).Can't wait to be able to wear things like this again!!!

(I really think we should start a new "Daddy push present" trend for all of the crap men have to put up with from their pregnant wives! Dustin has been my emotional punching bag, masseuse, shoe tier, maid, chef, encourager, motivational speaker, and personal trainer getting me out of the house to go on walks. Pregnancy would have been impossible without him cheering me along to not give up and to depend on God to get me through the tough days.)

Lovely Duds

This was one of my favorite gifts from my shower. (www.lovelyduds.com) Thanks Mom! I have a feeling I might be pretty anti-stroller, so this wrap will come in handy, IF I CAN FIGURE THE DANG THING OUT- No wonder it comes with an instructional DVD on how to use it. I also registered for a black baby Bjorn and a black messanger bag for Dustin (Daddy diaper bag!) so he doesn't have to walk around wearing girlie patterns!

This weekend...

My preggers friend Morgan came over and I madeblueberry pancakes and turkey bacon and then we went on a long walk. It was a beautiful time of seeing her adorable 20 week baby bumpkins and catching up! Can't wait til' she's huge!!! It's going to be adorable!Dustin & I FINALLY watched Broke Back Mountain, (after having Netflixed it over a month ago.) It wasn't nearly as great as I was expecting, especially because Ledger blew my mind in Candy and Monsters Ball plus, who doesn't love 10 Things I Hate About You when he serenades Kat dancing down the bleachers?!?! That's like every 13 year olds (24 year olds) dream.We also watched some of Clueless, which made me feel pretty nostalgic thinking back to 7Th grade when my sisters and I knew every line to this movie ("Rollin' with the homies!") Plus, dude, Paul Rudd?? OMG- I was crushin' mad hard back then.

My craving for deep fried pickles had to be quenched, so my husband breaded and fried me up some pickles! Thanks for making it happen babe, you rock! I ate the whole plate, it was more than amazing! Your burgers were pretty much the best i've ever had too just so you know. Thanks Dustino.
Other than not getting adequate sleep with my countless tossing and turning and running into furniture, blindly trying to get out of bed to pee 12 times a night, (I told my husband we must get a night light. He can't live like a vampire forever! He's so neurotic about sleeping in complete darkness that he has a ritual of covering the DVD player and pinning our black sheets over our already dark curtains every night so our room is pitch black. He even covered the little green light on the smoke detector in our room, because that tiny little green light was emitting far too much light and making it impossible for him to sleep! We might not be able to detect a fire in our house, but we'll sure be able to sleep! So I end up falling into things because it's too dark and being pregnant, I wobble easy. WE'RE GETTING A NIGHT LIGHT, end of story!) But other than that, It was a relaxing weekend. Dustin's been cleaning bath tubs and toilets since I can't bend as well. We share chores, but there are things we both will not do. I don't take trash down to the dumpster, Dustin doesn't scrub toilets. That's fair.

I had a pedicure by a Vietnamese grandpa who was seriously 100 years old. We talked about Jesus, homosexuality and love. It was pretty interesting. I've never had anyone so old paint my nails before. He looked a lot like this dude:No joke.