This is when you know

..... you might be experiencing sleep deprivation:

1. You wipe your eye with the same hand you've just eaten  half a bag of spicy lime Cheetos. (Cheetos are part of my "lose the baby weight diet", trust me.)

2. You fall asleep in the car when someone else drives

3. You spend the last 5 minutes of your shower trying to remember if you've applied conditioner to your hair or not

4. You doze off to sleep while pumping and wake to a crazy looking cow utter- boob

5. You mumble things in your sleep as  your husband is leaving for work

      I'm tired y'all. I go back to work in 2 weeks, and I'm trying to figure out how in the world I'm going to wake up at 5 am after being asleep all night for 1-2 hour sleeping increments (usually 9,11,1,3, & 5 o'clock and so forth through out the day is when Conrad wakes up in a hungry rage demanding food). Conrad DID sleep for 4 hours the other night to my amazement....But how will I get up in the morning after no rest, feed the baby, take a shower, look presentable, grab my lunch, my purse, his baby bag, and get out of the house and on my way to his day care in time to drive to work and beat the time clock..... The thought of what life is going to look like in 2 weeks leaves me a little terrified to be honest. I'm certainly not looking forward to leaving him at a day care 9 hours a day, and I'm certainly not looking forward to pumping in the bathroom every two hours at work, and I'm certainly not looking forward to possibly missing out on milestones (let me stop before i lose my mind). 

Today was rough. I intended to brave the day care tour on my own like a big girl, but took advantage of the moral support that was offered, & my mother in law came along for the pathetic blubbering mess that I became as I tried to ask questions and be strong. The babies  at the day care were happy, each playing or sleeping in their cribs, the teachers had worked together for 5 years, they were sweet, and they even talked about how tough it is for them as babies move up to the next class as they've become attached to them....they love the babies as I loved Benny, and Chloe who I cared for, and cried when I stopped caring for them. I know what it's like to love a baby that isn't your own...So I'm glad they're sympathetic to what I'm going through as a new mom. 

Anyway. If you remember me when you're saying  your prayers, pray that this gets easier. The Robbins house has been a bit stressful lately with Dustin's huge test that decides whether he gets his degree, us moving and trying to get our new condo ready to be moved into, packing with a baby is impossible, living on one income, trying to have energy to get through the day etc....and Dustin has finals next week! When does it ever slow down?? Someone please invent a stop watch so I can stop the madness!