Boobies!

Probably the thing I was most excited to experience when I was pregnant, was breast feeding believe it or not. I knew that come hell or high water, I was going to do it no matter how hard it was or how much work it took. I wanted the experience of feeding my baby and seeing his satisfaction after eating. I wanted to bond with him in that way.

Just like with pregnancy, no one tells you the sucky parts, they tell you how beautiful and blissful it is, which, most of the time it isn't. 

And with breast feeding, no one tells you that your nipple will pretty much completely scab up and fall off leaving your ninny raw. No one tells you that your baby will bite you in the boob and claw you in the chest with his nails when he's really hungry, no one tells you that you're going to look crazy pumping one booby while eating a bowl of oat meal, and soaking the other booby in a casserole dish of hot water on your coffee table because you're so engorged that one booby is a C-cup and the other is a double D cup! No one tells you that no matter where you are, when your baby is hungry, he will scream and you had better whip that boob out no matter if the doctor is in the room and you don't have anything to cover him up, when he wants milk he doesn't care where you are or whose around!! No one tells you about Mastitis, or clogged milk ducts! 

Breast feeding is hard. I have had a lactation specialist in my home to help me 3 times now to figure out how to get him to eat a full meal with out falling asleep because he's a lazy little baby, or because one nip is bigger than the other, and I can't get him to latch on and I'm so engorged that I'm in tears and have already taken 12 hot showers and massaged my jugs until my fingers almost fall off!  

We've found that pumping and feeding with a bottle at night works best for us so we know exactly how much he's eating and he'll sleep 4 hours straight. He breast feeds throughout the day on the boob. 

We tried giving him a binky and sometimes he takes it, but more than anything it just frustrates him because he thinks he's getting milk and milk doesn't come out of binky's. The lactation specialist told me to give him my nippy when he needs to pacify if i can because that will satisfy him more than a binky. 

I've learned that you can't give up, that after 12 days of frustration and pain, babies are usually acclimated to the boob, and it's worth it even if it hurts like hell. I've learned that there are antibodies in breast milk that can't be manufactured in formula, so as long as milk flows, we will breast feed. I've learned that pacifiers confuse my son and don't make my life easier. He likes the warm squishy-ness of the boob. I've learned that my whole days are centered around milk production and feeding. I feel like a prisoner to my milk. I have to make sure that I pump ever 2 hours, that I drink more water than I drank while I was pregnant, I have to consume lots of good calories, and if I go a night without pumping or offering the booby, I will be so engorged and miserable the next day. My life is all about milk! 

I've learned that breast feeding is better than any diet pill! Praise the Lord, I was 158 lbs. of fat preg-nastiness when I delivered, and now, I'm 136 lbs. after 2 weeks of being a slave to breast feeding and pumping, and I haven't stepped foot on a treadmill! 

But it is no lie, it sucks. It's hard and you have to be committed to it. But after 12 days, you will no longer have feeling at all and it will be wonderful and your baby will nurse for hours and then after a few months (I'm told) your boobs will look like a couple of pancakes!!  

Woot woot for flat, saggy, pancake boobs! 

Kidding. I'm not looking foreword to that part, but it's a sacrifice to give my son the best and I'm all for giving him the best!