Wednesday, January 14

What can I say, baby likes him some Jack Daniels!

I didn't go to bed until 12:30 last night. Conrad decided that midnight was a perfect time to practice his head spins & karate chops in my womb, which made it impossible to sleep. Go for it Buddy, have a ball. I don't need to be productive at work or anything! Keep me up all night if you want, knock yourself out Dude!!

And I was totally NOT writing my baby love letters late at night crying my heart out into my baby journal like a blubbering fool, professing my love for him or anything.....I'm so lame! Yes, I have a baby journal. I know, that's so gay. And i'll probably be one of those creepy moms that glues my baby's hair in scrap books with funny captions that go into great detail of the hair cut experience. That's what scrap booking does to you, it makes you weird and have to document EVERY event of your life- and this is exactly why I have a baby journal just for my document every single thing I can think of to look back on this momentous occasion and savor every memory of it. It's more of an outlet for me to rant about how sucky I feel. Theres more complaining than savoring, I'm not gunna lie.

Needless to say, I'm pretty much useless today!

I feel like I've been binge drinking and shooting heroin for days, (which I haven't, for those of you wondering, but I DO have the track marks and bruises from my blood being drawn yesterday...4 TIMES!!!) SO it might be hard to prove that I'm not totally high! Which was exactly what one of our clients at work (in all seriousness) asked me today.

His exact words: "You look tore up gurrrll, are you on somethin'?"

Me in my best stoner voice: "Yeah man, I'm so stoned right now, I don't even care if I'm 7 months pregnant...I'm so high, You don't even know. (Sarcasm obviously) NO! I'm not drunk OR high today thankyouverymuch...."

That's when you know you're looking pretty haggard!! At This point, I pull out my mascara and lip gloss and try to make myself look half-way decent! I'm even wearing my husbands UNLV shirt to work today, cuz I'm so hot and all. I feel like every effort to be useful at work is failing me....Why does my baby choose to sleep in the day and throw himself a party at night when I'M trying to sleep???!!!

Maybe it was the decaf cappuccino I had last night at Hanks....or the marshmallow cheese cake...or the crème Brule....I doubt NONE of those sugary treats had ANYTHING to do with my self induced-insomnia and spazed-out baby hyped up on caffeine and sugar, bouncing off of the walls of my womb! I'm sure it had NOTHING to do with that!

Last night we went to dinner at Hanks with our friends Bobbie & Ben who are getting married in August! (Can't wait to see her in that dress!!!) At one point Ben had to be cut off from talking because he literally had me in tears and holding my crotch trying not to wet myself from laughing....he's seriously one of the funniest people I know. Rule #1- you're not allowed to make the pregnant girl pee herself at nice restaurants...anywhere else is fine.

Bobbie taught me a new word, one that she thought I already knew because she used it so nonchalantly in a sentence and didn't pause to see if I knew what "Tan-orexic" meant. Tan-orexia is the frequent tanning of oneself in an unhealthy manner as to become orange colored or addicted to tanning. I got that straight out of Webster's believe it or not! Kidding.


  1. you on somethin gurrrl?


    i love the pregnancy journal thing, so not lame I might have to steal the idea!

    conrad is lucky to have cool parents like you guys and totally go for a sister named harper. i would not think of creeperton's baby :)