Last night, I was rambling off my "why I hate pregnancy" list to Dustin laying in bed, blurry eyed, pathetically crying my eyes out- and out of breath...
I guess because now that I'm 6 months, and my baby is about 2 lbs (grow baby grow!) trying to sit up off of the couch, or out of bed, or out of the bath tub is getting more frustrating....or when I burp and I throw up a little in my mouth! That's my favorite right there....throwing up in my mouth! Acid reflux and I are bffs.
Plus the horrible dreams where my husband gets shot in the chest and he's dying in my arms as I repeat "I love you" over and over again and wake up crying, or I pee the baby out into the toilet, or dreams about poop coming out of my pores.
Theres the crazy emotions, (I got hysterical yesterday and wept when it snowed at work! I mean, come on Chelsea, pull yourself together!) the rage, the farts, cravings, cystic-hormonal acne!, bad dreams, sleep deprivation because I have to get up to pee a gazillion times a night, and sleep deprivation because I have to readjust every hour because I'm uncomfortable (and the reality is, I'm not even that big yet. It's just that at 130 lbs. I'm bigger than I've ever been in my life!) So I just have to remind myself that this is only going to last for 3 1/2 more months, and although I will grow and get even more uncomfortable, there is a great reward in the end of a little baby to cuddle and love. So I can't be all Debbie Downer about the whole thing.
I guess the thing that is pretty annoying is when you see people who are all "I LOVED being pregnant, I felt SO beautiful, I NEVER threw up or had rage, I was NEVER uncomfortable, I NEVER got a single stretch mark or zit, I was NEVER depressed!!" Well, I on the other hand can tell you that I actually threw up 6 times in one day- I STILL THROW UP REGULARLY!, I feel like a fatty, and I'm not going to feel guilty for not loving every day of this 9 months! (AND then there are the baby-name-haters! I don't criticize you for naming your kid Jackson, Jayden, Aiden, Hayden, Ella, Bella, Ava, or any of the other very-adorable-trendy names, so don't hate on the name that we picked! Don't Warn me that his name is really "out there". That's insulting. When you get pregnant, you can name your kid.)
Also, I'm saying good-bye to a body that I actually liked a lot and worked hard to keep lookin' bangin' and I fear that it won't look the same after Conrad is born! (I just smiled - I LOVE saying his name!) So there you have it. The raw-truth about how miserable I have been lately. And IT'S OK TO HATE IT! DON'T FEEL GUILTY!
I can tell you that the things I enjoy the most have been feeling him move, being adored by my husband who thinks that my huge-ness is still super hot, and going through the babies clothes refolding each item and imagining how cute he's going to look all snuggled up in his outfits!
This is the size of Conrad right now:
25 weeks-
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